Ashes White (xBunnyWolf) Offline

38 In a relationship Female from Creston       1064
         

Period Warrior

Completely took this offline... but it's just so freaking true I had to post it



Period Warrior - by justpixi
Men always tell me they'd love to know what women are thinking. Well, I'd like to walk you through a morning in the life of a woman with aunt flo visiting. And before you cringe, grow the fuck up - and respect the fact that if you put your dick in it, you can learn a little about the blood that flows from it.

Ready? Ready.

4:30a You are awakened by a strange pain in your abdomen area. Food poisoning? Better go to the bathroom just in case.
4:32a F*ck YOU period!!! Why are you 3 days early? OF COURSE, now I'll have you for the date with the guy from fet.
4:37a Back to sleep. Pissed off. With little elves stabbing your stomach and twisting the knife.
7:39a Wake up. Bathroom time again. You grab your back, thinking you threw it out. Convinced you slipped a disk and will soon need an ambulance.
Nope, just period ache.
7:41a GODDDDAMMMMMITTTTT. You apologize, "I'm so sorry, favorite pastel underwear. I thought a light tampon would do it while sleeping. I was wrong. Leaking like a faucet."
7:43a Spend 10 minutes trying to decide whether or not to wash out panties and try to save them, or to say "f*ck it' and donate them to the trash.
7:53a Did you just spend 10 minutes debating with yourself? Huh.
7:55a You don't have time for this shit. (throws them away)
8:00a Showers. Oh, great...your shower puff is f*cking white. Looks like you murdered someone. Amazing.
8:15a Throws shower puff in the garbage on top of massacred panties. Your wastebasket already looks like Gettysburg and it's only day one. Onward!
8:20a Tries on outfit. It's too tight in the tummy. At least you know you're not pregnant. Still positive here.
8:22a Next outfit. Too tight in the ass. Examines closely in the mirror. Is that a tampon string through your pants? F*ck you, wardrobe.
8:24a Outfit 3. Is white. Way too optimistic. Throws it on floor. Give it the finger. Throws self on bed in a dramatic fashion and begins to cry for no reason.
8:27a Outfit 4. Long tunic, leggings. Perfect. Spandex is needed.
8:29a Applies makeup. Skin is as oily as f*ck, and a zit is forming. Of course. 34 years old and still at the mercy of my monthly cycle.
8:30a Applies 2 coats of concealer and one coat of foundation to aunt flo zit. Is it more noticeable now? Contemplates the fact that it looks like one of the faces from Mt. Rushmore is etched into the side of the foundation.
8:40a Blow dry hair. Suddenly, feeling very hot. So hot. Melting hot. Body is on fire.
8:45a Scream at hair because of course it hates you today. The world hates you. You're bleeding like a stuck pig with zits, and have tiny elf babies stabbing your stomach. You look at yourself in the mirror and mumble, "Don't f*ck with me today."
9:00a Off to work. You are late. Your boss will be pissed. Asshole. You contemplate telling him you woke up in a pool of blood this morning, smiling like the joker as you dodge in and out of traffic, flipping people the bird liberally.
9:21a You walk in just in time for the 9:30a meeting. And realize, it's time to change your tampon. And, you wore a tunic, and pants without pockets.
F*CK.
9:22a Bend over your desk to try to shove tampon into your waistband.
"Hi, you going to the meeting? I thought you could sit by me, and help me with that project we were assigned to?"
You pause. Of course, it's the hot new single guy.

F*ck.

Life.

Right.

Now.

9:24a You realize you're still staring at him. Nodding. He's talking about his weekend. You have no idea what he's saying, but don't want to allow his gorgeous mouth to pause.
9:26a SHIT!!! Forgot to go to the bathroom for tampon changing of the guard.
9:27a Rush to morning meeting, living on the edge...will you make it the entire half hour without leaving evidence on the conference room chairs? Only time will tell.
9:31a-10:02a You sit uncomfortably, nervous you will wreck the furniture. And suddenly, you feel it.
Wetness.
Nooooooooo.
You squeeze your thighs together and shift.
Then say to yourself, "It's just sweat. Swamp ass. It's hot in here, and you wore a f*cking tunic in the summer, genius."
Relaxing, you smile at hot office guy, zit on your face starting directly at him, and hands over your bloated lap in attempts to cover the mini period baby belly that has formed.
10:00a Why isn't this meeting over? It's 10-oh-f*cking-a CLOCK, assholes!!!
10:02a And, we're done. Finally. You stand up quickly, too quickly. Forgetting about the tampon concealed in the waistband of your leggings, it slips into your pants. Great, now hot guy will see your newly created "mini dick."
10:03a You carry your notebook in front of your crotch awkwardly, feeling extremely exposed as you turn your ass to the rest of the people still in the meeting. You say a little prayer to baby Jesus that you're red free, and swiftly walk to the bathroom.
Congratulations, period warrior.
You made it to midday.
The BEST news? Staff training all afternoon.
F*ckers.
flame wars
flame wars: wow thats intense.............
8 years ago Report
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Sams_suraya
Sams_suraya: Exactly how I feel
8 years ago Report
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