VENUS S2 Offline

VENUS S2: last night naughty me dreamed that I stole a set of doctors cloth and went into a hospital, pretend to be a student, followed a group of students, listened to a doctor explaining what's happened to a female patient( I can't remember exactly words after I woke up unluckily). and in the end the doctor whispered in my ear asked me if I wud give him 20 as the best mark. I said 20 but no it's 21. he was very happy. I think he's a bit funny bit humorous but might like me too much to ask a student such a funny question. . i don't care how others explain this dream, but definitely I need to study harder for medical treatment knowledge. perhaps God wish I cud study harder.

VENUS S2: I myself is a big cell : at the same time dieing and reborn, so many times feel so low just near the collapse point but something hold me up again. deep inside I know whatever happens I have to carry on until I really really can't anymore. it's life, life is tough. escaping is not brave. so b brave and carry on walking. at least be my own hero I respect. ( strangely as I don't feel very happy recently, i sleep like a baby, no dream, no worry.maybe it's not such a bad thing at all. thank God! )

VENUS S2: still don't quite know what to do as my dad is seriously ill. possibly I can't just go back. I don't feel well myself, need to take care of my hubby and do lots houseworks. I remember previously in recent years, every time I went back and end up in hospital for myself, just become very weak, cannot stand serious big event anymore really. if I went back, I'm sure I wud go back to hospital to treat myself again. not my hubby, he's now even weaker than me actually. up to God's meaning, if he thinks we cud go then we wud go. ( unluckily, unless there's a miracle, otherwise I can't c we cud go. although mom sounds very sad but I make sure she realize that ppl in the end wud go to the other world under any big illness anyway.and also actually in my culture mom and dad both live like some kind of God as they're over 80years old, after that age all days r happy days as its a gift from God to give extra long life. and also we wud celebrate ppl at that age and die.come to think about it, dad has a good life, bad tempered but a kind man. never did any crime, so I'm sure he wud go to the heaven in the very end. it's still a surprise to me with this news, but I need to be tough and celebrate his life rather than just be sad)

VENUS S2: u know u actually never know what u really r unless u r in certain position/situation. just heard that my dad is in danger. I thought I was tough, even tried to calm down my sister as she sounded like as if she wud cry any minute. then after the phone call, my heart and head both began to feel not right although on the surface I still look very calm. it's just like two weeks ago when my hubby wasn't well and asked nurse to have an emergency check out for his heart, i nearly collapsed, although I walked back home by myself, i was still trying to calm me down all the way (luckily the nurse said he's fine). I really should go back to parents right now, but somehow I'm hesitating, can't make this big decision as my hubby is also not healthy need to b taken care and lots of houseworks to do. I just lost plot. actually have been thinking abt it for few days already but just can't easily make the decision, to make it worse that I feel ill too now. (as I checked my blood pressure is very high and heart beat too fast). and the covid-19 virus definitely also did lots damage to us two, as since then we both lost half strength very difficult coping with the life. may God bless everyone and me.

VENUS S2: life is a strange thing. u never know where u actually standing! u cud stand on the cliff but know nothing abt it just feel happy all the time. or u cud be at the top of the world but still feel miserable. as humans again approaching another sharp end, I determined to b happy, although I have a lot of problems at the moment, but, hey. who the fxck wanna b the miserable dying one who must b a stupid wanker, right? life worth us laughing not crying. so cheer up, everybody. don't be a fool.

VENUS S2: watching long TV story is really a very tiring thin! I just don't have enough sleep because of that. fortune teller said I wud be lonely. perhaps that was few years ago, as my birth of animal year is monkey(monkey born after 12o'clock is lonely monkey). but I found God. he's my back support me so I don't feel lonely anymore. I'm fine. I'm tough.

VENUS S2: I'm back. I'm glad I'm back. as I figured out that there wud a lot troubles ahead. I don't mind. those r God test of me, with his support at my back. I just know I'll be fine. and less using of mobile phone might b a good way for me, as I just found I'm too much addict to it, it becomes a poison to me, as I ignore too much reality works. it's like another kind of drug. i just watched a long long story abt the greatest Japanese woman. her spirit encourages me! then again I don't wanna watch too many online movies anymore, as I wud become addict to them and very emotional. I need to put more attention on reality. good luck to me. and thank God for everything.

VENUS S2: recently I watched a lot of videos abt Iran shepherds life and their metropolitan ppls life. fascinating! thank god for the internet, otherwise I wud know nothing about lots thing. ( although sometimes I don't like modern technology, but I do like E-travel in internet without really spend huge money and energy to travel in reality physically by myself, ad I'm lazy so-and-so. definitely lazier than the laziest animal in the world!)

VENUS S2: r us ladies getting uglier or fashion clothes nowadays getting uglier? ! I just can't watch some so-called fashion shows anymore. so simple, basic yet fxcking ugly! those cloth! dear o Lord! why people lost the sence of wearing lovely high fashion clothing anymore? or is it because people or designers getting more stupid? ! haha. I'm not complaining. I just wonder what's wrong with us humans. I even notice that less ppl r interested in romantic love or art anymore. damn humans.

VENUS S2: I forget what to say. just say some nonsense. trying to lose weight, but got ill because feeling too tired and ate not enough. but I have to lose weight, as I put another 10KGS on for fxck knows what reason. sorry. I like saying naughty words but not to other ppeople's faces, just another way of expressing myself really.

VENUS S2: feeling a bit better today. I determined to be positive and happy. if not happy, at least, keeping calm. and laugh at myself put on another 10 kg of weight. haha. what kind of rubbish am I? pig or elephant? (basically, I love flower/carbon products too much, and can't do lots exercise as I'm just too weak with bad back). I'm calcalm and not sad. I'll eat a lot less, try to do a lot more exercise. if I was in China, I could have some special herbs to lose weight and have no side effects at all. other medicine I'm not very much sure if they're safe, TBH.

VENUS S2: I don't know what to say. years ago I was very talkative, now I'm totally changed, most of days I don't wanna talk, I'm even rejected by the wechat and the wassup, but not upset me at all. actually I just went backwards to the original of myself whom was a very quiet person, read books a lot, kept everything to myself, could not be bothered to do exercise. I think people are changing all the time. since I had covid 3 times, i withdraw a lot, as I feel tired all the time, feel can't be bothered to carry on really. I know that's wrong. but still can't stop thinking that. :

VENUS S2: 4 years later. finally the cloud on my head is moved away. I could feel better and do a bit more. ( I don't wanna do a lot more, as my health is not allowed, just do what I could nowadays. and wish myself good luck. )thank u, God. Amen!

VENUS S2: I heard in Texas already started the fight. tons of ppl already dead! carried out by trucks. what the fyck. I don't like to c ppl fight , nor to c them die. RIP!🙏

VENUS S2: nothing to say. worry about might have the 3Rd World War.

VENUS S2: I'm trying very hard to say: happy new year. physically feeling very tired all the time since I had the covid cold 3 times in last 4 years. feeling really extremely difficult to recover. therefore feeling very low

VENUS S2: I don't y I'm not interested in shopping anymore for 4 years, still don't feel like it. still not buy a lot for Xmas.

VENUS S2: I donno. the world is getting worse. so is it really worth of living?

VENUS S2: feeling not happy at all. even the famous J. Meyer said she felt worry and not happy about human future and feel had enough of everything. I feel exactly the same. what is our future? I just can't see it! therefore in a way I could say perhaps it's not so horrible to go now, as everything is going worse and worse: the weather, the earth crust, the environment, the economy, the society, ppls mind... feeling lost feelings and emptiness. maybe is depressed. too much pain and bitterness drives one lost feelings. what a fxcking horrible world. and I don't really like most human beings, they're greedy and cruel and getting worse each day! when I die, i wish I would not reborn on the earth again! wish I never shall go back to the earth！

VENUS S2: I feel disgusted by almost the whole world. humans r I'll. very ill. wish I could die now really. don't wanna c filthy dirty things ! and would fast for the world peace ! please God. help us and grant us peace. Amen!🙏

VENUS S2: I suddenly realized that a lot of my internet friends disappeared, I guess maybe they're in the other world now, because they're all in the war zone. RIP!

VENUS S2: let's pray for me world peace:

Almighty God,
from whom all thoughts of truth and peace proceed:
kindle, we pray, in the hearts of all, the true love of peace
and guide with your pure and peaceable wisdom
those who take counsel for the nations of the earth
that in tranquillity your kingdom may go forward,
till the earth is filled with the knowledge of your love;
through Jesus Christ your Son our Lord,
who is alive and reigns with you,
in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
one God, now and for ever.
Amen!🙏

VENUS S2: a cup of bitter black tea without sugar or
milk for me today! that's right. in memory
of the recent dead and remind myself
what others r suffering, and would not eat
sugary food anymore, would not wear any
very colourful cloth anymore. trying to
save my soul and have a strict difficult
monk-like kind of life ! just show myself
I'm not one of those living dead. RIP to the
dead ones and my past life! 🙏😔

VENUS S2: : we should pray for the world peace and peace in the middle-east. may God grant peace on the earth. Amen !

VENUS S2: anybody still loves me? no? none? fare enough!