the thing i am sorry in my life. and the things i am not sorry for

i am sorry that i can not help pay of my dad headstone. i sorry that my ex husband like to hit women even thought that 1 is not my fault . i am sorry that i am depessed alot lately. the things that i am not for moving my life forward and try to forget my past and my marriage because it was not good but i am not trying to forget the people they has made my past. here the the 31 i am grateful for my mom and dad rest his soul my brothers all 5 of them 1 of the god rest his little soul pass when he was not even a year old my sister and her kids love them and my other brothers kids and i love they too. the and the one i am not grateful for are it my ex husband. i pray that when my ex stepdaughter grow up i hope she stay way from her father but in a way i do hope they get to meet and she can see how father is . but i also know he love her so that why i hope they get to meet. love you all and all ways will good and bad people in my life even the 1 that passed on god rest their soul . my future is my life now and my boyfriend. and people that i wish was not in my life my boyfriend ex girlfriend and her new husband and her son

this is not f@y%&$x happen to me again

my boyfriend ex girlfriend is send her worthless son back up here were in the hell does she think he going to end up at oh f%@y^~* right with a friend. but his friend usually kick his sorry ass out after so long and he end up stay with me and my boyfriend well i got new for they this time it not going to fz@y%x@ happen. he not a fx$w~%~ kid any more he need get a life and a job .

living my life and think about the future

i am looking toward the future and another birthday on rising at for mei will be 30 this july man it suck to be me . but i got a hell of lot to look forward too. i an i have my boyfriend to take care of. but it hell beening depressed all they time . but i am try to deal with everything . he has heart problem but at less he love me and i don't mind taking care of he because love take care me

get past the hurt and sading of lost some1 you love

i been deal with the guilt of not been able to say good bye to my father when pass away this feb7,2010. most of my dad family does not forgive me for not make it down to louisiana to buried my father. i even have a younger brother that piss off but he will get over it. i was snow end when they buried they were closed state highways and ground planes that month.it not like i don't have feelings i know i guilt of not been the best daughter are the perfect sister and hell i even guilt of not been a good wife. but i did love my father and he know it. but sometime i just want to say the hell with it and lay down beside him and than maybe everybody would be happy. i am guilt of lot of things but here late i been try to get past the lost of my father so why and hell can't my aunt and uncles understand i did not want to put my mom thought another hell try to make it down south when the town i am living was a stand still . damn it the whole states was at stand still . my father last words to me was to look forward and never back so here i am try not look back on my life and at my faults but why does people have to remind you of the thing you guilt of.

ex's are a pain in the butt

my ex's are a pain in the butt. my ex husband try so hard to give my mom a hard time. she just lost her husband of 30 years . so heand his friend is really been jackass to her. i just talk to her and she was piss off and stressed out. And my boyfriend ex's is no better than mine. she has her son stay with me and my boyfriend and he 23 year old can he get his on darn place to stay. and do his on freakin clothes

what my cat does when i am sick and when i am better the next day

yesterday i was sick as a dog and my cat would not come near me at all . but today as soon as got up this morning she was all over in my face run across my pillow and trying to give me kitten kiss. and she eating what every i try to eat. it actly funny if you see her today. she stay close to me when i am at home . she even get in the window when i try to look out and rub up agaist my face when i am looking outside she was even watch me make banana bread today. my cat werid in a good way she like little kid

what i did yesterday and what my cat was up

i went to see the new harry potter movie last night with my boyfriend it almost like the book it was good movie it was 2 and half hour long i can not wait till last harry potter movies come out hopeful it help make more sence out of this movie ending .i also when to dinner last night . it was basely a date night that we had so it was fun for both of us. we got home round 8 last night and went to bed and 12:00 am my cat start to lick my arm to wake me up and she did wake me and i went to see if she had food and water she had both so i went back to sleep after looking out the window. when my boyfriend and i woke up this morning i told him that my cat woke me up and he went over to rub her back and told her she was good girl. the only reason he did that is because she does not wake him up in middle of the night for no reason

what happen last night with my cat

last night i was sleeping about 11:15pm last night my cat come over to my side of the bed and stuck a her really cold nose to my forehead and woke me up to get feed. and here lately she taking to hiding after i get up the thrid time to make me go looking for her. but i am still half about this time so i go back to bed and she come and curl up by me are she go setting in window and goes to sleep her self. but she thinks since she up i should be up with her too and be a sleep when she sleep just like little kid. i come over to library this morning around 7:50 am and i when back home around 8:50 am she was waiting at the door for me to open it and when i did course she run for it and i drop my book on the floor and run down stair and pick her up and take back in to my apartment and she give me this evil look like why did you have to do that to me. well put her down and pick up my library books and she follow me and told her she had to stay in the apartment if she want to stay save but she just jump up in to window and went to sleep like she was not in trouble with me and fell a sleep
july 25,2009
my cat sleep whith my boyfriend till 3:00 am this morning and than she got up and come over to my side of the bed and put here cold wet nose in on my forehead to wake me up and when she saw that my eyes were up she set there and stare at me intill i got out of bed to go get her some food than she jump of my bed and come run to my while i got a can of her food out of the closet to give to her . but she went in too the closet till i up the can of food and than jump on the counter were i was dish her food up at and try to eat out of the can but i would not let her eat out of the can . thewhole time i was tell her she had to eat what i put in her dish to eat, than she went and set in window and i went back to bed she was still set in the window when i got again at 7:30 am this morning

what happen with my cat

jazzy my 2-year old cat has in my live for 2 years and my life as became a world od surpise from waking up 12:00 to 3:00 am with her staring me in the face while i sleep to stick her cold nose to me while i sleep. and she can be one mean little kitten when she want to be. i had her piss on my bed just because i left the apartment to go check my mail . are when my boyfriend and i got to the store . but now days she just pick a spot in the windows and sleep till she want her food and water the she becaome all lovable. she my world beside my boyfriend . hi i was just letting off some steam here and plus i don't know what else to blog about so it has to be the things i am proud of and these are here my bpyfriend and my cat

playing with my kitten paws

i was play with my kitten paws the other day and she slap me in my face.. so she got way with it and got mad. i t fun how my kitten is spoiled rotten. she love sitting in the window watch for birds to bye the window.and when i washing dishes she setting right there help me do they .she love to put her paw in watch and slap at anybody that walk by the sink. she sitting right next to me when i get the trash out . she bolt for the door everytime someone go in are out of it she a happy kitten when she full and when she sleep she like to go to the park with me and my boyfriend . she like to watch me when i am cooking . have a happy easter everybody