 Friends         | well well.. casual bit laid back guy.. derives pleasure from lil happiness in life.. looking for frens frens n more frens... Hit me..  sunshinegirl32: hi sud how r u,,,u on facebook hun,,hit mi with ur name ok 10 years ago • Report • Link 0  sud1obscure to pollyloo: ... .........♥...♥ ........♥.........♥ .....♥...............♥ ...♥....................♥ ..♥......................♥ .♥........................♥... ......♥....♥ ♥.........................♥... ♥..............♥ .♥.........................♥.. .................♥ ..♥.........................♥. ...............♥ ...♥.......................... ............♥ .....♥........................ .........♥ ........♥..................... ......♥ ...........♥.................. ....♥ ...............♥.............. .♥ ..................♥..........♥ .....................♥.....♥ ......................♥..♥ ........................♥ ........................♥ .......................♥ .....................♥ .................♥ .............♥ .........♥ ......♥ ....♥ ......♥....................... ♥....♥ ..........♥..............♥.... ...........♥ ..............♥......♥........ .............♥ ...................♥.......... ..............♥ ................♥.......♥..... .........♥ ..............♥.............♥. ...♥ .............♥ ...........♥ ..........♥ .........♥ .........♥ ..........♥ ..............♥ ...................♥ ..........................♥ .............................. .♥ .............................. ...♥ .............................. ...♥ .............................. ♥ .........................♥ ..................♥ .............♥ .........♥ .....♥ ...♥ ♥............................. ♥....♥ ♥..........................♥.. .........♥ ♥......................♥...... ..........♥ ..♥...................♥....... ...........♥ ...♥.......................... ..........♥ .....♥........................ ........♥ ........♥..................... ....♥ ...........♥.................. .♥ ..............♥..............♥ ..................♥.......♥ .....................♥..♥ .......................♥ sud1obscure: Joke of the day.. Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house Ransacked and burglarised. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio,and a K-9 unit, Patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, The blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the Cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned,'I come home to find All my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman sud1obscure: A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart. The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart. 'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife. 'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans,' he replies. 'Put them back, we can't afford them,' demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping. A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket. 'What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband. 'It's my face cream. It makes me look sexy and beautiful for you when we're making love,' replies the wife. Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Budweiser ... at half the price.' sud1obscure: Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs are roaming in the forest when they come across a lake. The water was enticing and Snow White decides to take a bath. So she tells the Dwarfs to turn around while she is taking a bath in the lake. The Dwarfs protest vehemently because they want to take a bath too. Snow White relents and says "When I get into the water and you hear the splash, you can turn around." Snow White undresses and as she is about to jump into the water, at that very moment, she is startled by a frog who jumps into the water before she can. The moment the Dwarfs hear the SPLASH, they turn around and see Snow White standing NAKED. Now, given that this incident is an idea for a TV ad, what product is being advertised? . . . . . . . . . . . That's easy.... Seven-Up! sud1obscure: now u r drunk.... A drunk walks into a bar and notices a banner that says "win $10,000; ask bartender for details". He asks and the bartender says "well, you see that man at the end of the bar?". The drunk looks over and sees a huge, burley dude. The bartender says "if you can knock him out with one punch, you go to the second step... The door right behind that big guy opens into a room containing an alligator with a sore tooth. If you can pull his tooth and come out alive, you move on to step three...Those stairs next to the door go up to an eighty year old hooker's apartment. She has never been satisfied by any man. If you can satisfy her, you win the money!" The drunk says ok and orders a double shot of whiskey. He belts that down, walks to the end of the bar and POW!, knocks the big dude out. He orders another double, belts it down, walks to the door, steps inside and closes the door. BAM, CRASH, GROWL is all the bartender and patrons can hear for a few minutes and then total silence. Five minutes later, the drunk walks out of the room bloody, clothes shredded. He orders another double, drinks it and says "o.k., where's the hooker with the sore tooth?" sud1obscure: bill it... Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, the pretty girl said, "I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only one kiss per yard," replied the male clerk with a smirk. "That's fine," said the girl. "I'll take ten yards." With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, then teasingly held it out. The girl snapped up the package, pointed to the old geezer standing beside her, and smiled, "Grandpa will pay the bill." sud1obscure: hat blew off....!!! Mr. Smith wanted to become a teacher in the worst way, but the only job he could find was as an instructor at an all female college teaching sex education. His wife was a very jealous woman so Mr. Smith decided he would tell his wife that he would be teaching sailing at this college so that she would not get angry. He was very happy and for months all was well. As fate would have it, one day in the grocery store check out lane, Mrs. Smith overheard a group of girls standing in line behind her talking about college and their instructor Mr. Smith. The girls went on and on about how great this Mr. Smith was at teaching their class. The cashier handed Mrs. Smith her change and said, "Have a great day Mrs. Smith, and thank you, again." One of the girls in line heard the cashier, and asked Mrs. Smith if she was related to the Mr. Smith that was teaching at the college. Mrs. Smith replied, "Yes, he is my husband." Well that set off a torrent of accolades about how knowledgeable Mr. Smith was about the subject matter he was teaching, about how he got the whole class to discuss their fears about learning the subject. Well Mrs. Smith was taken back by what she heard from these girls and replied, I don't know how you find him to be so gifted at teaching you this course. You know he only tried it twice in his life. The first time he tried it, he got sick, and the second time, his hat blew off and he just quit." sud1obscure: A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife so he went to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem, and so gave him a book on assertiveness, which he read on the way home. He had finished the book by the time he reached his house. The man stormed into the house and walked up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he said, "From now on, I want you to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you're going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?" "The funeral director," said his wife. sud1obscure: For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven. "You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to them, "That I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want." And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life. The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later of naughty fun, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces. "You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking at them. Grinning even more widely the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on it's head." sud1obscure: lol.... A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. "I will have to go home and come back later." The woman says, "Unbutton your shirt." So he opens his shirt revealing curly silver hair. She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me" and she processed his Social Security application. When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the social security office. She says, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too." sud1obscure: sold eggs...!!! A women on her deathbed called her husband and instructed him to look under their bed and open the wooden box he found. He was puzzled by the 3 eggs and $7,000 in cash he found in the box, so he asked his wife what the eggs were for. "Oh those", she replied, "every time we had bad sex, I put an egg in the box". Not bad, the husband thought to himself, after 35 years of marriage, then he asked, "But what about the $7,000?" "Oh that", she replied, "every time I got a dozen I sold them."  flavorlove84: lol that was funny so u like telling jokes and stories never met anybody that does like u i enjoyed reading all of them sud1obscure: An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?" The father [never having seen an elevator] responded "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is." While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24-year-old woman stepped out. The father said to his son, "Go get your mother." sud1obscure: A blonde goes to her gynecologist and tells the doctor that no matter how hard she and her husband have tried, she just can’t get pregnant. The doctor says, “OK, take off your clothes and lay down on the table.” The blonde says, “Um, all right. But I was really hoping to have my husband’s baby.” |
