mIkEl: Pilot was welcoming the passengers on the plane shortly after take off........
"Thank you for flying with us this morning.
The weather is....."
Then suddenly he starts screaming while he is still on the loud speakers:
"Oh my God. OMG! OMG! OMG...... Its burning"
A ghostly Silence reigned!
He gets back on the microphone talking to the passengers:
"I sincerely apologise for the incident, but I just dropped a very hot cup of coffee on my lap...you should see my pants."
One passenger replies -
"Why don't you come here and see Our PANTS"!...
mIkEl: one of the greatest journeys in Life is overcoming insecurity and learning to not give a SHIT
mIkEl: All holy books in this world teach us to love each other! But its only
'Kamasutra' explains exactly how...
mIkEl: Upon getting 0.5 marks in a quiz.
Me: Sir, how much is this half mark out of? 20? 30?
Professor: This half mark is out of sympathy, son.(true Story)
mIkEl: I hate when my friends turn out to be fake. This one girl I thought was really cool ended up being three raccoons in a trench coat.
mIkEl: Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered.🚶🚶🚶
Getting back together, they discussed the gifts
that they were able to give to their elderly mother.
The first said: "I built a big house for our mother.
"The second said: "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver.🚘
"The third said: "I've got you both beat.
You know how Mom enjoys the Bible and you know she can't see very well.
I sent her a brown parrot that can recite the entire Bible.
It took twenty monks in a monastery 12 years to teach him.
I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years but it was worth it.
Mom just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot will recite it.
"Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks.
She wrote to the first son: "Milton, the house you built is too big. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house.
"She wrote to the second son: "Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home all the time, so I never used the Mercedes... and the driver is SO rude.
"She wrote to the third son: "Dearest Melvin,
you were the only son to have the good sense to know what your mother likes...
The chicken was delicious."
mIkEl: Fact: You have seen more naked women than all your ancestors
combined, thanks to the Internet.
mIkEl: A boy is working on his family's farm.
He has an accident with one of those big harvesting machines.
His left arm, left leg and left ear are torn off!
His parents rush him to the hospital, and after hours and hours and hours of surgery, the doctors come to his parents and say...
"Your son will be all right."
mIkEl: If you truly love her, set her free. If she comes back, she probably left something at your house. She's gonna leave you anyway. You suck.
mIkEl: I complained that I had no shoes till I met a man who had no iPhone and I was like what's wrong with you man!