SongOfTheSun: Want to have nightmares of your own? Read the nightmare I wrote for the character in my book 😂🥺😈😋😋
Renton sat in his living room chair , the lights flickering on and off from the downed power lines.
Candles lit the room... He hopes nobody would notice, the screams of the people outside and the fires, looting. Absolute chaos.
God this was all my fault... I couldn't save them... I(bold) couldn't help them....
He clenched his teeth and feel deep into his dispair as tears started to roll down his cheek, every one of his muscles from his stomach up tightened so much it hurts.
He silently cried out the air in his lungs and with his last breath he apologized silently for letting them down.
He folded his legs up onto the chair and pulled them to his chest and held his shins so tightly his fingertips almost drew blood..
Oh God I'm so sorry I let you down , I let them down..
FUCKING PUSSY I WASNT GOOD ENOUGH! He screamed grittily.
Ghasping in fear realizing what he'd done...
He ran to the black sheet covering the window it glow orange with the fire engulfing much of the city, destruction and violence was everywhere.... Bedlam, pandimonium.. evil and bloodthirst was stalking the streets.
He peaked out to see if anyone heard him..
He heard the turn of his front doorknob.
His jaw clenched, he froze in mortal terror... He was so stiff he couldn't even take the knife or hammer he had tucked on his waistline.
Are you in there?
Th knob turnes again.
Are you there ? Let us in.....
Shouted whispers came through the seam of the doorframe.
" Oh my God please you have to let us in we have kids please let us in... "
The voice crackled with fear and desperation , he could hear the crying and shakiness in her voice.
The knob rattled violently and the door began to shift.
Go away! Renton said with unease and fear, he was trembling in the corner his body pressed so hard against it that he was forcing air from his lungs..
His teeth clinched so hard they felt like they were going to break, he felt one o his cavities began to chip and cunch under the strain.
PLEASEEEEE! the woman screamed histarically pounded on the door violently...
STOP! shhhhh! Renton closed his eyes so hard it hurt, he nearly felt himself pee... He'd never peed in fear before. He wasn't a pee'r
"I I I...iiiimmmm sssss ssorrry I'm sorry sorry sorry sorryyyyyyyyy" the woman's voice shuddered and crackled
"Shhhhhhh hh hh shhh ssshhh I promise I promise promise please please please, hhhooooohhhh please let me innnn, let us in"
I I I.... Promise, I promise, we promise please help let us in, open the door please God pleaseee we don't want to diedont let us dieeee"
"Nobody.... h .. h..Here D- ...Doh-"..He spoke just loud enough to be heard.
"Noooooo - h- h-oooohhh God " he wispered, his tooth was shattering, he could taste blood but he couldn't help clenching.
"They're out here ... " She shuddered "LET US INNNNNNN" she screamed histarically , pounding on the door
"YOU HAVE TOO! , HEEEEELLLLPPP!," "EEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHH" The woman screamed like nothing Renton had ever heard..
"OPEN THE FUXKING DOORRRRRR" "EEEEEEEEEEAAHHH"
Pounding on the door.....
Renton just sank to his knees holding his hammer to his chest , tears rolling from his eyes...
"Oh godddd oh God oh God oh God" he repeatedly cried silently his arms sharing a badly they and his shoulders cramped.
"THEYL RAPE AND KILL US ALLLLL, EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAHHHHH!!"
she shreiked started kicking the door.
Renton In a burst of irrational fear grabbed his recliner and slid it across the room and against the door like an idiot , like it would help.... He looked left to right and pressed himself back into the corner gripping hi hammer.
"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLP" She pounded.
"OH SHIT! EEEEEAAAAAAAA , NOOOO! ITS COMING ITS COMING IT'S COMING OPEN THE DOOR EEEEAAAAAAA!!!!"
The shrill... blood curdling screaming was horrific.. and sounded like metal being torn or grinded at high speeds.
the door started shuddering and tweaking, bits of light shining through the cracks as she tried to force it...
With a loud crash the door flew open and the woman's barely lit limbs flailed into the entrance of his apartment, and she dissapear for a split second....and the doorknob stuck into the drywall holding it in place... For a split second there was nothing.....
But only a split second before her histarical screams were cut short by a gurgling noise and her arm went flying into Renton's living room spraying blood like a pressurised pump as it land on the floor 2 foot in front of his doorway, her limbless and headess torso save one leg went flying through the air just behind it and slid to a bloody hault on the coffee table that set a few inches in front of the open door along the wall.... Blood pumping out of it like a sprinkler.... The poor woman's heart was still beating.... Pumping the last bit of blood with adrenaline and vigor out against the wall and on the floor and table in his living room that now look like the scrap room of a slaughter house....
It was silent.... Dark...
Renton was so scared he felt he might actually pee.... He stood flattened against the wall in the corner he had been praying for his life in...
The small shelf and coat rack that was on the wall next to him, he prayed to God for his life as he slowly reached for the jwc hanging off the hook and tried to pull it over him in the panic and irrational hope that it may hide him.
And out of the darkened doorway came flying the woman's head at absolutely impossible speeds and was impaled directly in the ear canal by the coat hook , in the split instant it took to happen and even longer to register that he was staring into the blood curdling horror stuck on the woman's face at the moment of her death as her eyes.... Directly at level with his own staring into his...
With the look of absent utter horror in her eyes looking directly into his own, her mouth open and blood falling out of it like a focet Renton bolten for his bedroom door as fast as he could and threw it open..
Packed from floor to ceiling.... were massive spiders, small spiders, of every breed... As he open the door the initial wave that was crammed up against the door spilled over him ...
He screamed histarically , throwing his arms and legs trying to brush them off
.. they covered him....
And more yet..... We're spilling out of the doorframe like a live wave of black shifting matter, a hundred thousand legs moving just as frantically and scared of his own.
In reality only 0.73 seconds had passed as Renton stood on one foot , the other in the air as he brush his face and around to the back of his neck with one arm, the other swiped his chest and the skin of the arm itself in his panic driven delirium, drowning in the fear that was overtaking him...
In the 0.73 seconds as he struggled with brushing himself off
He spun on one foot to look behind him at the pitch plack doorway now slick with blood...
He stood for one second and quickly wiped his face clean of spiders again... Mouth open panting, he look to the doorway....
A pair of soulless inhuman red eyes opened and stare right at him. For a millisecond he froze and a spider crawled into his mouth...
Shrieking in horror he ran and climbed up the wall of spiders and met with difficulty as his feet kept sinking down as the hundreds of not thousands of spiders were being crushed under the weight of his foot, he struggled and forced his way into them, grabbing handfuls of spiders as leverage trying to climb in , he strained to reach behind him to close the door but the spiders were making it hard to shut, they began biting him he screamed and flinched and threw his limbs violently .. he thought his heart might stop, the eyes began to slowly move closer beyond the frame of the door, he kicked a path clear and slam the door turning the small lock on the door knob...
If he would have had time he would have felt stupid for that stopgap measure...
This couldn't be happening... The wave of spiders began to overtake him as the door was shut and the level of spiders began to equalize he was up to his neck ... Being bitten all over his bare skin he struggled violently towards the window.
The sheer horror in his soul there was no way to equate what he was feeling... This was hell... This was a fate beyond imagination..... In split seconds his unconscious mind and his conscious mind struggled to think it was real, but the pain and the fear asures his brain that it was... He wished he could leave his body, he struggled but everytime he got higher... They would crush under his feet, he would loose the hight he gained and they would again swell above his neck up to his chin, struggling for air spiders kept falling into his mouth, spitting them out and taking in small panicked breaths he wished he could just die..
And suddenly, the spiders eyes all began to glow red, the split around him ... And he stood in a small circle ... The spiders as a wall around him until they parted and made an opening to the doorway..... There the figure with red eyes stood... In complete darkness... Renton stood there frozen....
This isn't real
This isn't real
This isn't real
And the figure darted at him in full speed through the air, thrusting long black talons in his chest.
His eyes opened..... He was sweating , breathing hard.....
The dream was so disturbing his immediate thought was there was no way In hell he wanted to go back to sleep... It felt so real....
Ah, our party come to greet us Renton. Ted nudged his head toward them.
Renton took a deep breath in preparation, gathering himself.
Ted raised his arm and waved to them with his thumb and pinky touching eachother, a signal to them.
He turned to see the man lean down to touch Brennons body.
Static began to charge the air and their clothes, The near blades of grass began to move and point to where he knelt and just like that, He dissapeared.
Ted's wave slowed and went limp as he stare blankly at the impression left in the grass from where they had been., and the group of men stopped on their tracks for a moment before continuing on down the small hill to meet them.
There was an obvious question hanging in the air of silence as they slowed to a stop, looking at the empty space where the two men has been only moments ago, Ted stood with his hands on his hips before furrowing his brow then shaking his head in question , and extending his hand to shake with the closest of the group of 9.
The older but very healthy looking man shook his hand with a single motion only , saying nothing and his lips unparted he smiled widely, closed his eyes and bowed forward.
Something about the fluid motion of the man, the greeting was very warming. Renton felt a warm calm come over him, and though he was highly empathic and could usually feel the energies of others and especially the mixed energies of a group of people, which he never really liked.... And it's part of the reason why he loses the will to speak and socialize in large groups, all the different auraus would dilute his own,impose over his and it disturbed him.
Renton felt nothing from them... aside from the initial greeting, Empty space... The fraters had a glacial emotional stillness and control, Though he was not consciously aware of the fact yet.
He just knew something was different but couldn't yet put his finger on it.
The complexion of these men were seemingly normal until you looked closer, the darkened translucent nearly bruised looking skin of the rim their eyelids, the very tan and smooth almost thick leather like olive skin... They obviously had a special diet or something that over time changed them .
Though they seemed perfectly healthy They were different, almost imperceptible but it was there.
The way the teeth sat in the gums in their smile, like perfectly preserved and maintained but still... Preserved. There was no way to know how old these men were but Renton suspected they were ancient alchemists.
Without Renton even really noticing, one of their number pinched his right earlobe with his left hand thumb and index finger.
He looked Into Rentons eyes with a seemingly bottom stillness behind his own and spoke;
When in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes, I all alone beweep my outcaste state.
Renton simply furrowing his brow and blinking several times looking into the man, trying to fathom the meaning to this.....
Well, the lead of their number smiled and interrupted , clasping his hands and rubbing them together. It would seem we have much to discuss. He held out his arm gesturing towards the direction they'd came opposite the moabs and the shoreline.
They began toward the Rano Raraku quarry.
Ah , such a monumental undertaking you have chosen to take for yourself here with us Renton. One of the group spoke.
It's uh.. Sedrick that decided that we should meet, Id never think or had the idea to chose to come to Easter Island .
By the way are there bunnies here? On Easter island? Easter bunnies?
No one can choose for you, every of action we take is of our own making.
From what I've just seen, it definitely seems that someone or something can make a decision for us.. and we may not even know it.
Ah, so it would *seeeemmm*(italics) the monklike man offered in return smiling , twiddling his thumbs behind his back.
His snarky reply and carefully paced fluid steps told Renton that these guys might in short order wear very thin and annoy the fuck out of him.. He hopes to God this wasn't going to be like some sort of zen buhddism thing... Where they contradict everything you say with some sort of smart assed generic comment. If you want to go up... First you must be down. To go right, you must have stood in the left.
Useless axioms used by men with far to much self importance that are so full of themselves and their practice they can't see beyond it, it becomes their truth, that they don't realize that like the old hermetic axioms that everything is but a half truth and there is almost always an acception to the rule given the proper circumstance... And that only numbers were things of concrete certainty.
Already he disagreed with the first thing the man said, if we make all our own choices then how did the demon make Brennon sabotage the comms unit, sure the monk guy would argue that it was the demons choice to act through him, but then again that is the acception to the rule. Quotes and axioms like that are ultimately self defeating, he hoped to God this wouldn't be the main theme of their teachings...
You cannot learn... What you will not know, just cut the goddy crap and give me a simple answer!... He could see it now..
He was already letting his imagination run wild with how incredibly difficult and boring this might end up being despite his initial excitement of learning from such old and valuable masters. Breeds of men like these were 1 in a billion.
One thing was for sure, this wasn't going to be easy.
Ahead was an outcutting of sheer rockwall and the form of an incomplete Moab lay horizontal inside of the rockface behind a thin rail barrier.
Here our ancestors used unique skill and knowledge to cut and form these statues out of solid rock, some of the rock very dense.
The forms and dimensions of the Moab here imply that they possessed particular tools and skillset unknown to be possible without modern prescicion tools, according modern reaserchers and archeologists.
Somehow, like the builders of the pyramids and other sites... Ancient man took unforgiving rock and formed these remarkable monoliths and moved them great distances across the islands. Modern researchers have posited many theories on how they were carved and moved from these quarries to be set in their final resting places here on the island, their gaze ever outward toward the waters..and they still have yet to offer the correct explanation, pleased.. he ended his comment with a low hum and a smile obviously knowing more than he lead on.
Michael Angelo said that , the incredible sculptures and works of art he had made were already there.... In the rock... Before he began, and all he need do was remove the unwanted and unneeded bits.
Much like the amazing abilities and discipline that man is capable of... Ever searching outward for his answers instead of looking within, like this crude unyielding rock.. if we can be made to see it with new eyes to know all the possible forms that we can be or imagine, we might find that many of our questions can be answered from within.
Oh God Renton thought squinting his eyes, he might have been right.. this might be hell.
So they say you are the descendant of Ba'al. ? We have seen unusually keen predisposition to magic in those who proceeded the angels, and nephilim.
Tell me... Have you felt him? Heard his thoughts... Sensed his... Focus on you?
No, Renton raised an eyebrow. None whatsoever. And there is no such thing as magic.
Curious. He said dryly. Another of them offered a simple hmm.
So why is it you chose to come here, what is it you think we can offer you.
As I said before I didn't really choose to come, it wasn't my idea. Sedrick and Teddy here thought that I might benefit from your particular forms of mastery and other knowledge you may posess... That I might better defend myself in the coming days given the kind of enemy we face , and the kinds of abilities they might employ against us.
I have no enemy.. the priest said cheerfully.
Renton was already gritting his teeth over the intentional nit-picking of his words, he had carefully chose to use the words " I didn't choose " again to see if he would again offer a smart Alec rebuttal. And he did, this time a new one.
Gritting your teeth? It's really not good for them. You're choosing*(italics) to be angry? Why?
It's painfully apperant that you choose the destruction of self far farrrrr more than chosing a mode of growth or healing.
Why.. why do u chose pain and anger.
Painfully apperant? What are you choosing to feel pain?
I'm not really choosing to be angry, sometimes outside stimulation triggers irritation. It's a fairly normal human response , seeing as how I'm human..... It's to be expected is it not.
Response or reaction, you are separating your ego from the aforementioned idea of human condition so you may blame your CHOICE of re-ACTIONS on the later, theoretically and incorrectly *by the way(italic) bypassing the blame from the ego to the atomaton .
But only conciousness in ANY degree may force any feeling or action within in an outward fashion upon the construct.
You are choosing to radiate the negative vibration.
Like the crude unyielding rock all forms are potential within it's structure, like Micheal Angelo it was your choice to see it become what your concious mind made it to be... Wanted(italics) it to be.
I didn't say painful as an unintended blunder.... of a self sanctimonious know it all as you wrongly so perceived, Renton.
I chose my words carefully and accurately, As your great many proxies of self distruction are simply methods on which you chose to act out your pain.
And to separate response*(italic) from re-action. From ego and automaton....
This particular pain is not the involuntary "response" of the nervous system of the automaton of which you posess, but rather the reaction of ego and is concious choice.
Though it is difficult to see it as such, since these reactions are so finely embedded in our ( synapses or neruons****look up ) it is learned behavior, as natural feeling to you as the words that seemingly flow from your mouth without concious action.... But they do... And it is.
It's simply learned behavior which we need to learn to separate from our desire body.
But you have ma itde the destinction between ego and automaton... Which is a wise place to begin Renton, he said tapping his finger to his chin with a smile.
And you posess a great and deep pain... such A vast hollowness you created to fall into. So...... Alone so dissapointed that they couldn't love what they were not keen enough to percieve. Of course a cave man could not appreciate the subtlety Shakespeare, he knows only blunt and apperant things, so you chose this hurt for your ego to reside in, and there it lives.. in the makings of its own torment.
When in disgrace and fortune and men's eyes..... I all alone beweep my outcaste state... Renton said in nearly monotone.
It's as the man's words shone light on a revalaltion he'd known all along, it boils down to one thing.. one truth.
Are you more comfortable to fold in cowardace or act in strength to do what is needed?
For him it was easier to hurt and feign ignorance in the same frame of mind with the nearly always uniform result of his scincere actions.... Then it was to accept that he simply had to love without expecting it In Return.
And to live without the hope of the gratification of what he justly deserved...
But there is an old saying that most certainly always rings true , the world ISN'T fair. And he WAS expecting Shakespeare of cavemen.
And the more he realized he was seeking refined and complex delicate form from blunt objects the better off he would be.
He closed his eyes somberly... I must allow the death my own ego. What an unfair thing to ask of a person... Someone who for the lack of love of others... Must find comfort in the love of his own virtue.
That too must die.
God damn... What a bitch.
Even that last sentiment to the realization was evident of his need to shed the need to feel entitled. Leaving him incumbered to act in the moment and alot more often than not the result of acting with that detachment lead to an outcome was far more desirable and comforting Than acting from his center of desire.
He wanted to say some snippy retort like sorry for being a wise ass, wiser ass. Or something to that effect. But he couldn't think of anything witty to say , which was rare... The man had taken the wind out of his sails. It was very rare that someone made a point over his... This time it hit pretty close to home
Even more importantly.... He didn't want to ask how he knew the most painful things that twisted him into something he never wanted to be, never deserved to endure... what was at the very core of his being that rippled outward so far into his actions and direction of his life.. his regret that he was unable to show the love and kindness to the world without it paying him with anguish in return. No, he didn't even want to ask how. Or why he chose that Shakespeare quote before even speaking one word to him.
It was like a psychological master that could use any example to trigger him. Even analogy of rock.
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SongOfTheSun: tstarr8481: As of 30.03.20.... ...
3,214,101 Communicable disease deaths this year,inclusive of corona virus/seasonal flu deaths.
120,370 Seasonal flu deaths this year only.
1,881,920 Deaths of children under 5 this year
10,523,535 Abortions this year
76,526 Deaths of mothers during birth this year
41,677,473 HIV/AIDS infected people
416,209 Deaths caused by HIV/AIDS this year
2,033,411 Deaths caused by cancer this year
242,854 Deaths caused by malaria this year
1,237,694 Deaths caused by smoking this year
619,238 Deaths caused by alcohol this year
265,499 Suicides this year