Snake Eyes1 Offline

Snake Eyes1 to hickboy62: This guy needs to have his ass beat what a disrespectful punk

Snake Eyes1: Joke of the Day

Three couples went in to see a minister to see how to
become members of his church. The minister said that
they would have to go without sex for two weeks and
then come back and tell him how it went.
The first couple was retired, the second couple was
middle-aged and the final couple was newlywed.
Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the
minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at
all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the
first week, but after that, it was no problem. The
newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can
of paint.
"Can of PAINT!" exclaimed the minister.
"Yeah," said the newlywed man. "She dropped the can
and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her
right there and then. Lust took over."
The minister just shook his head and said that they
were not welcome in the church.
"That's okay," said the man. "We're not welcome in
Home Depot either."

Snake Eyes1: Joke of the Day

Why can't a blonde dial 911?
She can't find the eleven.

Snake Eyes1: Joke of the Day:

A mother is making a cake for her three sons when she
accidentally drops some BB's from the shelf into the
batter. She decides that it won't matter and continues
to make the cake. Later that day, her sons eat the cake
and don't even notice the BBs.

The next day, when the mother is reading a magazine
on the couch, one of her sons runs in saying, "Mom'
mom' I pissed out a beebee!"
She says, "That's okay, son. I accidentally dropped some
beebees into the cake batter. You'll be fine."

Five minutes later, one of the other sons, comes running
in and he says, "Mom, mom, I-" but the mother cuts him
off and she says, "I know, I know, you pissed out a
beebee. I dropped it into the cake batter, but you'll be
fine."

Then her last son runs in the room, and he says, "Mom,
mom, I-" and the mother cuts him off and says, "I know,
I know, you pissed out a beebee. It's my fault for
dropping it in the cake batter, but you'll be fine." But
then son says, "No, no, I was masturbating and I shot
the dog!"

Snake Eyes1: Joke of the Day:

There was a baby boy born in the hospital and he weighed
ten pounds. The odd thing about him was his body
weighed five pounds and his balls weighed five
pounds. All the nurses and even the doctor didn't
know what to do with him.

Then, the chief surgeon walked in and asked what was
wrong. The head nurse replied, " We don't know what
to do with this baby."

So the chief surgeon took one look and said, "You
should put him into a mental institution."

"Why?" asked the head nurse.

"Well," replied the chief surgeon,"take a look at him.
The boy is obviously half nuts."

Snake Eyes1: Joke of theDay

Why was the suicide bomber disappointed when he
me his 72 virgins?
He blew off his penis.

Snake Eyes1: Joke of the Day

Why was the Blonde's bellybutton bruised?
Her husband was a blonde too!

Snake Eyes1: Joke of the Day

A blonde goes on a hot date and ends up making out
with the guy in his car. The guy asks if she would like
to go in the backseat.

"No!" yells the blonde.

Things get even hotter, and the guy asks again.

"For the last time, no!" says the blonde. Frustrated, the
guys asks, "Well, why the hell not?"

The blonde says, " Because I wanna stay up here with
you!"

Snake Eyes1: Joke of the Day

A man was in a bar all day and he had to use the
bathroom. He was in there, yelling so the
barmaid reluctantly went to the bathroom to check on
him.
"Sir, what are you yelling about? You're scaring the
customers."
"Every time I try to flush the toilet something keeps
biting my balls!"
"Sir, please get off the mop bucket."

Snake Eyes1: Joke of the day

What do you call the space between Pamela Anderson's breasts?
Silicon Valley

Snake Eyes1: Joke of the Day:

Little Johnny and his grandfather have gone fishing.
After a while grandpa gets thirsty and opens up his
cooler for some beer. Little Johnny asks, "Grandpa can
I have some beer too?"
"Can you stick your penis in your a*hole?" grandpa
asked back
"No"
"Well, than your not big enough"
Grandpa then takes out a cigarette and lights up. Little
Johnny sees this and asks for a cigarette.
"Can you stick your penis in your a*hole?" grandpa
asked back
"No"
"Well, than your not big enough"
Little Johnny gets upset and pulls out some cookies.His
grandfather says, " Hey, those cookies look good, can I
have some?"
Little Johnny asks "Can you stick your penis in your
a*hole?"
Grandpa looks at Johnny and senses his trick so he
says, "Well of course I can, I'm big enough."
Little Johnny then says "Well, then go f*ck yourself,
these are my cookies"

Snake Eyes1: i dont even know why i come to this site there's not one person who actually talks to me on here anymore its like im an outcast even by my so called friends

Snake Eyes1: i know im not very welcome on here so i dont even know why i come on
i also know im not the greatest looking guy on here but i am me
i have 37 friends on here but yet still have no one to talk to ..... go figure
i just wanna say that yes i am me and yes if u made my friends list then u earned my trust
i just don't know why no one talks to me

Snake Eyes1: this is weird seems like i offended my friends somehow cause it seems that they cant even say hi to me anymore. Just being myself sure tends to turn people from being my friends to just people who don't like me which is weird

Snake Eyes1: nice guy looking to make some new friends
if you would like to chat feel free to message me

Snake Eyes1: I could really use some advice from my real friends.
if you think u can help me message me. thanks

Snake Eyes1: friends come and go
just like a persons life