Friends | MARY27123: happy birthday snake!!!!! 9 years ago • Report 0 Snake Eyes1: Joke of the Day Three couples went in to see a minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged and the final couple was newlywed. Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no problem. The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint. "Can of PAINT!" exclaimed the minister. "Yeah," said the newlywed man. "She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over." The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church. "That's okay," said the man. "We're not welcome in Home Depot either." Snake Eyes1: Joke of the Day: A mother is making a cake for her three sons when she accidentally drops some BB's from the shelf into the batter. She decides that it won't matter and continues to make the cake. Later that day, her sons eat the cake and don't even notice the BBs. The next day, when the mother is reading a magazine on the couch, one of her sons runs in saying, "Mom' mom' I pissed out a beebee!" She says, "That's okay, son. I accidentally dropped some beebees into the cake batter. You'll be fine." Five minutes later, one of the other sons, comes running in and he says, "Mom, mom, I-" but the mother cuts him off and she says, "I know, I know, you pissed out a beebee. I dropped it into the cake batter, but you'll be fine." Then her last son runs in the room, and he says, "Mom, mom, I-" and the mother cuts him off and says, "I know, I know, you pissed out a beebee. It's my fault for dropping it in the cake batter, but you'll be fine." But then son says, "No, no, I was masturbating and I shot the dog!" Snake Eyes1: Joke of the Day: There was a baby boy born in the hospital and he weighed ten pounds. The odd thing about him was his body weighed five pounds and his balls weighed five pounds. All the nurses and even the doctor didn't know what to do with him. Then, the chief surgeon walked in and asked what was wrong. The head nurse replied, " We don't know what to do with this baby." So the chief surgeon took one look and said, "You should put him into a mental institution." "Why?" asked the head nurse. "Well," replied the chief surgeon,"take a look at him. The boy is obviously half nuts." Snake Eyes1: Joke of theDay Why was the suicide bomber disappointed when he me his 72 virgins? He blew off his penis. Snake Eyes1: Joke of the Day Why was the Blonde's bellybutton bruised? Her husband was a blonde too! Snake Eyes1: Joke of the Day A blonde goes on a hot date and ends up making out with the guy in his car. The guy asks if she would like to go in the backseat. "No!" yells the blonde. Things get even hotter, and the guy asks again. "For the last time, no!" says the blonde. Frustrated, the guys asks, "Well, why the hell not?" The blonde says, " Because I wanna stay up here with you!" Snake Eyes1: Joke of the Day A man was in a bar all day and he had to use the bathroom. He was in there, yelling so the barmaid reluctantly went to the bathroom to check on him. "Sir, what are you yelling about? You're scaring the customers." "Every time I try to flush the toilet something keeps biting my balls!" "Sir, please get off the mop bucket." Snake Eyes1: Joke of the day What do you call the space between Pamela Anderson's breasts? Silicon Valley Snake Eyes1: Joke of the Day: Little Johnny and his grandfather have gone fishing. After a while grandpa gets thirsty and opens up his cooler for some beer. Little Johnny asks, "Grandpa can I have some beer too?" "Can you stick your penis in your a*hole?" grandpa asked back "No" "Well, than your not big enough" Grandpa then takes out a cigarette and lights up. Little Johnny sees this and asks for a cigarette. "Can you stick your penis in your a*hole?" grandpa asked back "No" "Well, than your not big enough" Little Johnny gets upset and pulls out some cookies.His grandfather says, " Hey, those cookies look good, can I have some?" Little Johnny asks "Can you stick your penis in your a*hole?" Grandpa looks at Johnny and senses his trick so he says, "Well of course I can, I'm big enough." Little Johnny then says "Well, then go f*ck yourself, these are my cookies" Snake Eyes1: i dont even know why i come to this site there's not one person who actually talks to me on here anymore its like im an outcast even by my so called friends Snake Eyes1: i know im not very welcome on here so i dont even know why i come on i also know im not the greatest looking guy on here but i am me i have 37 friends on here but yet still have no one to talk to ..... go figure i just wanna say that yes i am me and yes if u made my friends list then u earned my trust i just don't know why no one talks to me Tastee_BubbleGumKush: You message me and I reply then usually you stop talking...so I gave up answering you can't say I never tried. Snake Eyes1: this is weird seems like i offended my friends somehow cause it seems that they cant even say hi to me anymore. Just being myself sure tends to turn people from being my friends to just people who don't like me which is weird Snake Eyes1: nice guy looking to make some new friends if you would like to chat feel free to message me Snake Eyes1: I could really use some advice from my real friends. if you think u can help me message me. thanks |