 Friends        | my feelings hi well im hear today to describe how i feel and when i realized i was different and how i felt about that OK well here goes and please forgive my bad spelling and punctuation i hope it doesn't ruin this to much in anyway OK well i guess i always knew i was different from a very young age from when the guys used to go out and play football or war games and climb trees i always felt it wasn't for me i used to hide away so i didn't have to get involved an used to sit there looking on with great jealousy at the girls playing there games and this has continued to this day from me not enjoying going out with the guys drinking and looking on with jealousy at the girls sitting together and seemingly have a really good time i mean omg i even get jealous when i see a girl out with her handbag or boyfriend its like yeah you so a bitch hehe does that make me bitchy oh well such is life through out life especially my teenage years i have experienced the usual teasing and name calling which continues to this day you know what i mean calling me a sissy a big girl blouse a wimp etc which i of course pretend doesn't bother me and again try to fit in with the guys but as much as i try to suppress these feelings i know they arent going to go away simple things like when you see a hot guy and feel that fluttering in your tummy and the excitement rush through your body and your sitting there with your friends telling yourself not to look but as much as you tell yourself its just like a hypnotic trance and you cant help it so just hope your friends dont notice or that you dont mess your panties which let me tell you is extremely hard if you have Simon around or you see the guy in the bank im telling you girls wooooohoooooo hot hehe anyway i guess at some point there will come a time when everyone will work out just what a sissy i am as its not always easy for a sissy to concentrate and to keep up this pretense! |
