Simply LeAnn Offline

poppye1: Hi

Simply LeAnn: HOLY COW! The family interested in my house ALL came.Well, actually not ALL of them. Grandparents who would be living here weren't here. I was unprepared even though Clark sent a text because I had been out in back with the dogs and then making and eating tacos, so I was utterly taken back. I think there were at least a dozen people here. Not sure who all would be living here, but WOW! This is their 3rd visit which I'm surprised about because I told Clark my rock bottom price and that was more than they wanted to pay..There's more to say but I don't want to say it yet.
Dang, in case they DO buy it I need to get a trainer for Savvy. She's not prepared for a cross country road trip.

Simply LeAnn: Proud of Savvy. She wore her harness for a few hours today without panicking. I'm looking for a trainer for her. I want her to be comfortable and happy as we move.

Squirt has mostly recovered from his cancer surgery. Thankfully it was a low grade cancer, but there were cancerous cells in the margin the vet took. She didn't want to go into his rectum which likely would have affected his bowel continence. So I'm told there's a good chance the cancer won't recur but I need to monitor him for the rest of his life

For myself I have had a fast and firm shift. I had been so very lonely. I hoped to maybe find a relationship or some semblance of one since I will be moving and it's stupid to get attached to someone here. Still, I felt such a yawning emptiness and suddenly that just left. Frankly, I'm grateful because I really do need to focus on things like moving, preparing the dogs to move, my health and getting settled once I do move. Those are the right goals for me right now.

I need to get things set up to flow smoothly.

As I was buying a new vacuum and air purifiers, I did splurge on a pair of bird feeders equipped with cameras which take a pic of visiting birds and will send it to my phone. They came yesterday and I opened a box. I would have liked to set them up, but it looks like they need to be more or less permanently mounted, so I will just wait, but I'm excited.

There is or was someone seriously interested in buying my house but the number they threw out was less than the Rick bottom price I intend to sell for. I don't know if they'll meet that price or not, but I'm sticking to my number for now.

Life's simple pleasures.

garyw_1962: Hi how’s you. Any chance you might go back in Skype. Miss our chats xx

Simply LeAnn: Squirt is out of surgery. Dr Thode did not have to take any of his rectum but she did have to take his anal gland on that side. I also had her remove the wart on his chest and microchip him. She will send tissue to the pathologist again to see if they can determine the grade of the cancer. He is going to be really sore for awhile. He has pain killers and antibiotics. I need to get canned pumpkin and children's stool softener before I pick him up and he should be ready to come home at about 1:30. Dr Thode is extremely compassionate and I can't thank her enough for scheduling this surgery quickly and performing it. I hope it is a low grade cancer and that this will mean Squirt has years of happy healthy life with me.
Im going to try for a nap.

Simply LeAnn: This is just an overwhelmingly hard section of my life I've had so many losses lately. I'm having health problems of my own. I finally came to the decision to sell my house and it's not selling. I thought I'd be here forever. I've been making progress with Savvy, the only accidents she's had in the house since I had the floors cleaned ($$$!!!!) and began kenneling her at night are when I need to pick her up or do something she's scared of. This poor dog has so much fear. But we've made great progress lately. She was having such a good morning this morning. Very affectionate, loving the toys I got for her, then I ruined her day by simply putting a harness on her. She was so scared. She did pee. Then she just stood there frozen afraid to move a muscle. She would not eat chicken I tried to bribe her with. She stood there so long it was painful to me. I finally picked her up and put her on the couch where again, she didn't move. I had a vet appointment for Squirt at 10. When I got home Savvy was in her kennel. It's 3:08 pm now and she has not come out. She was whining. Now she's quiet, but still too scared to come out.
Ah the vet appointment. When I got Squirt he had a big growth that looks like a wart to me on his shoulder by his chest. But just before Thanksgiving I saw he had another growth really close to his anus. It's small, but I was worried
This morning was the soonest I could get him in to see the vet. In addition to getting his booster shots, he got examined and then the vet went to look at this growth. It's so small she didn't even see it at first (,her finger was on it) she said it was not a wart, which I already suspected. She took a biopsy and sent it to a pathologist. A couple hours later she called and Squirt has MAST cell cancer. The sample she was able to get was too small to determine the grade which helps to ascertain the aggressiveness of the cancer. He's having surgery Monday morning at 7:30 am. I hope they are able to get it all. It's so close to his anus I'm worried that that will complicate matters. If I could turn back his clock I would. He's the best friend! But he's 9 and so worried about this surgery. I've had my fill of stress, but I need to deal with it all.

Simply LeAnn: Robyn is always very kind to me in our readings and some of what she says, I agree is true. And in this reading Bruce was also very kind. At one point, I can't remember what we were talking about, I asked Bruce, "Oh, then have you reformed your opinion about my conscience" Because during one of our conversations he once made my jaw almost drop to the floor by saying "I don't think you have a conscience" That literally flabbergasted me! I think my conscience is in pretty good working order! Robyn paused a long time, then gave his explanation. According to her he said he had been speaking from ego and that he more accurately meant, " you don't see things the same way I do and I don't like it" That's more like it. We bantered some in this reading and it felt good to banter with Bruce. I miss that a lot. At one point he dispelled any doubt I might have had that it was really him by replying, "that's not necessary" Robyn said it so seriously I almost guffawed because that exact phrase was one he and also Miles used when I said something that was especially important and maybe heartful to me. I'd told him about that and he knew it got my goat, so this was an inside joke. I tried to explain that to Robyn, but I'm not sure she got it. She said a bunch of other things about and from Bruce, that he is sending me messages and that when I see 513 it is from him. She really likes communicating with Bruce's spirit and that touches me
It also touches me to hear he is with PJ. I'm glad that he is still warm and curious about my life because I haven't been able to help feeling abandoned. And I am also touched that he accompanied me on my trip to Tennessee. I bet not in the planes though. He really hated flying in airplanes. He really thinks moving to Tennessee is going to be a positive move for me. I told Robyn a bunch of stories about Bruce, his life and my life. I cried several times during this reading. I was really amazed at all the Native American content in this reading, I didn't expect that at all. I am very curious about my past lives. I know something awful must have occurred in one and I think it was related to childbirth because I get the worst, most physical sensations sometimes. I told her that I don't know my guides, lots of people do know their guides. She said, well they certainly know you! I got the impression that everyone on the other side thought it might be better if I returned returned Savvy. You should have seen the look on Robyn's face. But she was careful to say that guides do not TELL you what to do, free will is a very big gift and is very respected. The spirit of these readings is always very good. She always offers a prayer
She always makes sure I don't have anything more I want to ask. She always is mindful of Christ consciousness.
At one point we were discussing our mutual belief that the Earth herself is evolving and that there will be a division. Some people will go to the evolved version of Earth and some will not. I mentioned that I worry about which group I might be in. She seriously stopped me and said that I was overthinking and that my guides and council were weighing in to simplify this for me. She asked if I have chosen between light and dark. I have. That put my heart at rest because I am very aware of my distance from perfection. I know there's still more from this reading that I wanted to document, but I can't remember now. I hope I don't permanently forget anything important. I do remember that she said that my upcoming move would be a wonderful opportunity for me to live and express more of who I essentially am. She did put me in the weird category though she used a softer word, but I can't remember what it was. She said there was a bloom coming in my life in March. I thought she initially said that I would be moving in March. I flat out said I can't afford to stay here that long. She also said that I shouldn't primarily make my choice of my new home based on practical concerns but that there should be a feeling of magic about it. When I was younger I felt a sense of magic very often and I have sorely missed it. I will be happy to invite that back into my life.

Simply LeAnn: Robyn and I talked about this very empty feeling, stressful period in my life. How lonely it is to feel that nobody really needs me in any truly connected way (again, I'm not speaking of my friends, I have great friends) and how I feel id just as soon be on the other side of the veil where I think love and connection are more abundant and there's not all this struggle and lack. I'm tired of so much struggle and lack. And frankly, I have not been any too successful in my primary relationships which I've always valued highly. So I'm a bit reluctant to try that again. One reason for that is that I'm so afraid of being controlled (because of the way my father controlled my mother) I've been lucky enough never to be in a relationship where that happened at all, BUT I've chosen to be with men who tend to take more than they give and who want a large degree of autonomy which is fine unless it means there's no real intimacy. I'm also very repelled by greed so I have probably kept myself from having "enough" So, in itself these are issues worth working on while I'm alive but potentially they're difficult and while I am consciously trying to change my programming a lot of my habits and attitudes are pretty entrenched. One thing I KNOW is that I never want to be in a decidedly unequal relationship again. Nope. First hint of that and I'd be out of there before you can say goodbye. So, if a man just wants sex, or just wants emotional support or frankly just wants financial support I am not the least bit interested. But I feel that somehow I've never really touched the hearts of the men I've wanted to be with. I've had 3 long term relationships and in none of them would u have chosen to leave, but it seems I'm pretty easy to leave. Now Bruce and I were together until he died and he didn't WANT to die when he did and we did love each other but it was more like good friends. And I'm a person who likes romance and sex. There was very little of that between us. In fact, years and years ago he handed me a bag of sex toys, told me he'd lost his libido completely and bowed out of that part of our relationship. Unilaterally. He blamed Seroquel. I know this is TMI, but it is also true and it deeply impacted me. I have not been touched in probably a good 13 years now. A couple of years ago I got well and truly sick of that and told him I planned to seek romance and sex. He responded that my urges were base and that he considered it cheating. I asked him what he felt he'd be losing as it was nothing he actually wanted from me. It was a deeply honest conversation. And I meant every bit of what I told him. Now, I didn't tell Robyn all THAT, but the last time I spoke with her she said that Bruce said he wished he'd known how important "affection" was to me. As I say, we loved each other but our relationship was a LONG way from perfect.
Robyn told me Bruce was there and that he was quite the gentleman and asked if he could participate in this reading. I said of course. I think he was there for the whole time and I learned some surprising things. One was that we have had several lives together ( though I doubt it was in romantic circumstances!) But there is a history of us being important in each other's lives. I had told Robyn I was very sad that there were a lot of very beautiful parts of Bruce that he never let anyone but me see. His intelligence, his playfulness, his talents at so many things. He was very expressive and I really think he could have been an actor had he chosen to be. In this session Robyn said he saluted me for being the person he let most see him. And I'm still sorry he didn't let anyone else. I told her that Bruce was not a "Western" soul. That I thought his lives were primarily in places like India or Asia and she agreed that that was completely true. She said he'd been a monk, and that it was probably Tibet. I laughed because 2 of my 3 long term partners were really attracted to life as monks. But then she blew me away by saying I was with Bruce in that monkish Iife. She said that he had learned how to create sacred space in that life and that he had used that skill heavily in this life. And that he understood he had overdone it. She said that now, in spirit, he was very happy and free and she said he was something like a Walmart greeter welcoming souls he knew into spirit and helping them acclimate. One thing that Bruce was very disappointed with in this life was superficiality. He wanted connection with people who wanted to discuss and explore things deeply. And he never got enough of that. He was also disappointed that he never felt love as deeply as he wanted to. He told me that the closest he came was in a near death experience he had in the bathroom here where he felt bliss and an incredible sense of freedom. Robyn says he is very happy in spirit and she further said that PJ one of our dogs who he often referred to as his teacher was with him and that she'd had to die to be with him. She died before he did. Vet techs came to our house and put her to sleep and she was her very sweet self all the way to her death. Bruce wouldn't come to be with her. It was just me and the vet techs. But Robyn says they are together now with a very very strong bond. I was further surprised that he told her that I refined his spirit here. I said no, he did that himself, at best I just gave him a space where he could. Bruce is very sensitive and I always felt this Earth is a very difficult environment for him. He is truly much better suited to spirit. I told Robyn I had scattered his ashes with PJ (and Dude) off a cliff as close to the ocean as could be in a place where you could see Catalina Island and that his friend Jason had come all the way from Texas to do this with me. We could see dolphins playing in the water and there were wildflowers everywhere. The wind blows inland but I figured rainfall would eventually get him into the ocean. He was HUGELY attracted to the idea of our lives being like a wave that eventually rejoined the ocean. Robyn said that he said that I influenced him a lot in this life and that he said I still am challenging him and expanding his perception which really surprised me. I asked him if he ever got to connect with Ramana Maharishi who he absolutely loved. Short answer yes, but not the same. She said that that soul is on a higher plane and that Bruce's spirit has to stretch to interact with it and that she can't exactly understand what it's like but she said she saw it like particles of energy meeting. She said Bruce was very happy and touched that I remembered his love and that id asked. I told Bruce I remember everything. Not sure I do remember EVERYTHING but I could never forget his love of Ramana Maharishi. I asked him if he'd met Miles who is similar in effect for me being the most spiritually active person I knew. Robyn said she felt Miles wasn't in spirit. She said she felt he is neither here nor there and both of us were puzzled by what that meant. Before this came up Robyn said I had shared a Native American life with Bruce. I don't know what our relationship was but that mindset and culture affected us both very much positively. I told her Bruce had loved a book I shared with him called Fools Crow about the life of Frank Fools Crow and that he'd even written music he called Hollow Bone in tribute. And I tried to explain Miles to Robyn by using the story Jumping Mouse by Hyemehostes Storm. Miles is very much Jumping Mouse and he'd told me I was like Old Mouse and sadly that's accurate, though at some time I think I will jump. I hope so. If anyone reading this is going huh, well, find the story. We also talked about a book Bruce bought for me in a thrift shop which is another seminal book for me. It's called The Tao of Equus and it is deep and very good. Part of it contrasts the difference in morality and perspective between nomadic people and people who stay put on land and believe they own things. If I had the skills and energy to be of the nomadic people I would choose that. Miles did or does have that energy. I recently read something about Native American people making decisions considering their impact on seven subsequent generations, comparing it to our culture who doesn't even consider the consequences of decisions on our own lives. Telling. Now I'd never mentioned my lifelong attraction to Native American thought to Robyn but it just kept coming up. She asked how I was choosing to move to Tennessee and said she saw trees and water and that these things would be good for me and that it was so green meaning both the actual place she was seeing and a greenlight that this was a good move for me. She asked me if Kentucky bordered Tennessee and I said yes, much of Tennessee"s northern border is Kentucky and she said I should look in that area. Also that I should look into the Native American people who had been in those areas. I'm only aware of the Cherokee, but the way she was repeating it and suggesting I look into the history of the people who had lived there I feel maybe it is another tribe that I may be spiritually connected to. This ties into the past life regression I tried that I felt had failed. I thought I was making it up. But I was some kind of native in a jungle like forested land. Lots of trees and water. In it the only thing I knew was that someone had killed my child. It was very fragmentary.
Robyn further surprised me by saying Bruce went with me on my trip to Tennessee and that he agreed that it would be a good move for me. Robyn said that my guides and council (both groups I am very curious about) say that I COULD make the changes that would be beneficial to my soul to make here, but that it would be easier for me in a new place and I felt a decidedly Native American cast to it. I told Robyn I wish Bruce could have made the trip to Tennessee (or anywhere really) with me because he would have known different and adventurous much happier parts of me on such a trip. Clark said it was the happiest he ever saw me. I'm so grateful he accompanied me on that trip. There was more still but I'm tired and thinking of what Robyn said about my future with Bruce and the past we've shared. As I say I don't think it's a romantic type of connection but I am very curious about my soul group. Robyn was very sweet and asked me to keep in contact with her as she's curious about my adventures.
Oh! I remember a couple other things I don't want to forget. One was that I told her I was proud of a very unpleasant exchange I had via text with a neighbor. When the floor cleaner was here he came in and mentioned a negative exchange with a neighbor. I asked who and he told me and he said she'd asked if I'd sold my house, he replied no, and she said, with tone, " well she's asking too much" this hit me wrong. Normally I would have just gritted my teeth and been quiet, but I texted her telling her basically that I didn't appreciate her ripples. The exchange got worse and worse and eventually we stopped writing to each other. I'm not proud of the negativity and has it been less negative I would have tried to explain to her why I was upset. What Im proud of is that I didn't let it pass that I confronted an issue that upset me. Robyn said she'd given me a gift, and that's how I was already trying to see it. An opportunity to speak my truth.
Now I've forgotten the other thing I was going to write. 🤣

Simply LeAnn: This will be one segment of my attempt to chronicle the reading I had with a medium I resonate with today. I don't know how much I'll be able to write down or how long or how many posts it will take

Part 1

Ok. Due to the deep tiredness I'm experiencing I can only write of the reading I had today in snippets and not in order. I'll be skipping around. I've been so stressed I haven't learned how to record a Skype session so I'll just have to remember what I remember and some of it, MOST of it is so right on that I feel very confident about the reading. Not only was it very meaningful to me in its own right, but it also connected to a past life regression I had tried that I felt failed!
In the reading we started by me telling Robyn that I've been listening to Steviejo Harris hypnosis guided meditations for sleep. I told her that I am, unfortunately, resistant to being hypnotized but that I wish I wasn't. She replied that people often have a misconception of what hypnosis is and that we are actually in a state of hypnosis often quite naturally during our days such as when we are reading an engrossing book. That hypnosis is really just when the brain is in alpha or theta waves and that those states allow us to be more open to perception that we are less aware of in our more common states of consciousness. I believe we have a higher self. I believe that our lives here is just a portion of our soul, like our body is a filter of the total range of our consciousness that we use to realize the lessons and goals we have chosen to come to Earth to experience and learn. This reading and my attempt to synopsize it is like a shorthand for the ideas and feelings and perceptions that the reading evoked. There's no way I could communicate all of it. Anyway, I referenced several little snippets I've been exposed to recently, like the Reels post I copied this morning about women, autoimmune disease and the effects of patriarchal programming on women. And another snippet I reposted recently about a shift from engaging in political strife versus the idea of creating the kind of life you want as an approach to a more warlike attitude. One of the things she had me write down fell right in line with this idea, "I release the fear of being wrong, I release the need to be right" I cannot tell you the number of times that what I have considered right or wrong has changed with a new perspective. I have learned to be guided in my moments by that combination of Spirit, heart and understanding which points a way to look at different circumstances that come up in life. Now, I've heard this criticized as situational ethics vs principle. Currently I think I'd have to say that I myself favor the situational ethics side which to me is more true to what Christians may say is the influence of the Holy Ghost which is described as a feeling of rightness that pervades us rather than operating from a system of rigid rules. Robyn said that we train ourselves to be more receptive to alpha and theta wave consciousness by practicing those states. That jibes with the feeling I get when listening to these sleep meditations. For me it's like a kindergarten class that is recalibrating my consciousness from the scattered multitasking way I have been thinking (some people might call this monkey mind) to a more concentrated mode of thought that allows me to go higher or deeper and opens me to new realms. I don't know if I'm explaining this well. Robyn and I have a set of influences in common like Dolores Cannon, Richard Bach and many others that allows us to talk about ideas in a "faster" way of understanding. There were many references like that during this conversation. This is just a thumbnail sketch of the first few minutes of the reading. Kind of an establishment of like concepts that would help us through the rest of the reading. The reading itself was much richer than I can write.
I need to rest a bit and will write more of it later.

Simply LeAnn: Crossing my fingers. I think the showing went pretty well. They left a nice note about the cookies which were still warm when they got here. They were here almost an hour, so that seems good. Clark, Jonny and Terry all helped prepare. I'm really grateful because I am just feeling crappy. Worried about that, but what will be will be.

Simply LeAnn: I'm stuck in a carpeted bedroom with Squirt. Savvy is, I hope, in the back yard. I cannot catch her to get her safely in. I had NO idea that doing the floors would entail hours of my front door being open. It was ok when I could be in the front room because I have doors to that room. But I truly hate it now. I got Savvy into the backyard after several hours of being in the house . Had to catch her to get a harness and leash on her. She wriggled out of it once id dragged her to the back yard. So now (I hope) she's out there until these people are gone and ovan shit the bloody front door. But this is iffy because Clark took the pa.el to prevent her from getting back in the house long ago. So I'm searching for something I can try to ock the door with and the best I can come up with is a .metal tool chest that's heavy, but it's on wheels. " These people"?you ask. Well, the guy brought his two young boys. I hadn't figured on that but
While I can see the younger boy is pretty helpful the older one is saying his dad wants to know if I want a room done. (!) AND he's asking if I want the PlayStation and if there are games for it!!!

INTERJECTION!!!!!!!!;
My bedroom which was truly awful looks FABULOUS now. Just the other carpeted bedroom to go. The floor cleaner is going to leave the fan. For awhile to get the carpet dry. Om truly curious if the smell is gone. I can't smell it once I'm acclimated to the house.
I had called another person to help move furniture. He came with his brother. He says he'll come back later to .ove furniture and put the kennels for the dogs in the house. This has been a DAY. OMG. But my nasty bedroom carpet looks really really good

Simply LeAnn: Someone is coming to look at my house on Monday. I hope they like it.

garyw_1962: Chin up. Life has a habit of springing nice surprises when you least expect it and I’m sure you are due one.
Keep in touch …. You know where I am x

Simply LeAnn: My less than 5 years old ( I think) Rheem water heater sprang a leak. Clark replaced it. No I idea how much I owe him. He was going to come back, but didn't. I want to pay him. I feel like I'm hemorrhaging money. I was going to go back to the nursing home today, but was sick all last night and today. What a thrill. Still don't feel great but Clark kindly brought me Imodium so I feel better. I just put a big big bowl of candy out for trick or treaters. There seemed to be a good number of them. I'm looking forward to a day when I don't have anything depressing to chronicle. I did see a couple of houses I like, but they'll sell before I can buy one

Simply LeAnn: Wow. Completely exhausted. Thought I'd get up early and make some chocolate chip cookies and pumpkin bread to take to Barbara and Jill, but that didn't happen.Joll hoped we'd bring an apple fritter, but I was mad the last time because they were burnt and I complained. But Jill thought it was fantastic. I declined to go in so Marilyn did, but there were 8 people ahead of her slowly picking out their dozen doughnuts so Marilyn didn't want to wait. So we attempted to get Jill a chocolate shake but the ice cream machine was down at the place we tried! So we went empty handed. It was a good visit with Jill and I promised to make cookies and pumpkin bread and take some to her tomorrow. She was happy about that. Barbara was asleep. We checked twice. We didn't want to wake her up.After the visit I went and loaded up on Halloween candy. I sure hope there are a lot of trick or treaters, there usually are. Then I went grocery shopping and that's what absolutely wore me out. Now that everything is put away I don't feel one whit like baking. So I'm watching YouTube videos about towns on Tennessee interspersed with episodes of Next Level Soul and cuddling the dogs. When I woke up this morning the house was 66° so now Ive turned the heat on.

Simply LeAnn: Going to see friends on a nursing home tomorrow. Listening to a book but will chat a few minutes before bed. Or, more likely, listen to chat

Simply LeAnn: Struck out conversationally so on to something else

Simply LeAnn: Dear Lord! I was sitting on my couch under a blanket watching TV not feeling well when there was a knock at the door. I ALMOST didn't answer it at all, because, for one thing I was in my underwear. I only opened it a crack and the man there said we're here for the appointment to see the house. MY HOUSE IS A MESS! I told them that and they said they could come back but I said let me get some clothes on. So I did and went into the back yard while they toured it. Really nice people. But I would have liked the house to be as tidy as possible for them to look. At least I don't think there are any dishes in the sink. We'll see what happens. Clark apologized and came down hoping to mitigate the situation. He thought they wanted to see a condo he had listed.

Simply LeAnn: I went to see After Death today. Sort of accused the lady in the seat next to mine of being in my seat and then looked at my ticket and apologized. That was embarrassing. Then, since the row HAD been fully booked when I bought my ticket except for either seat beside me I wondered if I was separating a couple. They both assured me I wasn't and the man had given me a friendly greeting. This showing held the most people I've seen at a theater for a long time. The audience seemed to be mostly my age or older, which makes sense because we are, by now keenly aware that we are mortal. People laughed at the trailers and the clips from previous movies. One lady made ME laugh by loudly proclaiming her love for Pee Wee Herman during a little clip from Pee Wee's Big Adventure. It was fun to hear live audience response. Once the movie started there were things to laugh and gasp and groan at, and we did, but I am very interested in subjects pertaining to consciousness and I had already been exposed to most of the experiences related in the movie. So for me, it was like a sampler chosen to reinforce a Christian perspective. Moving stories though, and plenty of food for thought. I was sad at the response of Howard Storm's circle when he tried to tell them what he'd experienced and how it changed him. I don't want to spoil the movie for anyone who wants to see it. As the movie was ending I had the notion to invite the strangers on either side of me to go to dinner because I was curious what brought them to the movie and how they felt about it. So I did. I told them that if they'd like to go to Nonna Ina, a good little Italian restaurant I'd like to host them. To my surprise and pleasure they both took me up on it and we spent a good couple of hours talking and eating at the restaurant. Not so much about the movie, but a bit of everything. I felt I learned a good bit about Cindy, who actually lives about 45 minutes away and was in town to see a surgeon who had performed surgery on her recently. She has a condition where she almost never feels pain, and that's problematic. She also had 2 incidents of a malignant growth in her ear, one when she was 18 and one much more recently. She worries because she doesn't feel pain that she might have problems she's unaware of, so she gets regular physicals. She was an interesting person. She had a son who was on the autism spectrum who died at age 19 of Hodgkins Lymphoma and she has a daughter in FL. She homeschooled both of her children for 7 years and her son was a bit of a savant. She has a degree in education and also in art. She divorced twice. Cute, feisty and smart but very Christian in her outlook. I liked her. Though she insisted Ritalin is a barbiturate. It's actually a stimulant but has a "slowing" effect on people with ADHD. Ive heard good things and bad things about it. Had I had children I would have been loath to use it if it was prescribed. Scott was interesting too, but less talkative. Both of them have traveled in the world and I have not so I was a little wishful there. He does music and mentioned he'd worked on a cruise ship. I think he's a bit down on his luck right now. I got the impression he and Cindy sort of hit it off when she told him to say hi if he saw her at the movies. It was an interesting evening and I was glad I invited them. Though I managed to forget my uneaten lasagna. Pity, it was good.

Simply LeAnn: Ahhhh insomnia.

Simply LeAnn: Nearly 4 am and I am excited because I bought a ticket to After Death tomorrow. Ok, it's a LITTLE strange, but dying is THE great adventure we're all signed up for.

Simply LeAnn: Ya'll are going to think I'm so nuts. Maybe I am. Been in a mood to consider Spirituality. Watching NDE experiences. Lots of them have had good information for me, some have been funny, some wise. This one though, gave me chills. The speaker had a near death experience when he was 8. And part of it was showing things that would happen. Things like Kennedy's assassination, Hillary Clinton running for President, Trump, all kinds of things. But then he said he saw what he took to be a single nuclear explosion, but it decimated North America. I had JUST watched a documentary about what would happen if the Yellowstone caldera erupted. Apparently it does this at intervals of 600-800 k years. The last major eruption was, according to the US Geological Survey was 631k years ago. The ramifications of such an eruption would have worldwide effects. The documentary stated that the airborne ash would prevent even a harvest for a good 6 years. The effects were quite horrific. The man who was relating his NDE said that he saw civilization wiped out, but there would be small groups of survivors who would be quite pleased if they found a useable pan. What I am thinking is that I'm planning to move to Tennessee. Why Tennessee? A dream I had started it. I've said this before and I know it sounds weird and horrific but when I was a little child I had an absolute belief I was going to be here for " the end of the world" Where would that kind of idea come from to a little kid? I've never been able to forget it even though it is nothing to look forward to! But what if?

Simply LeAnn: I've been feeling so stuck. And frankly, I've been feeling like it's not my fault. Yesterday, while I was watching YouTubes about Tennessee, the content switched to NDEs and other spiritual experiences.
I'm watching this one now. And it's really resonating with me. One of the things she said was that she has had to learn to change her thoughts. That not saying something you have negative feelings about is not enough, (oh and I've been spewing negative thoughts a lot) but she says she was shown that even keeping them inside has an energy that finds the people you have the negative thoughts about and it makes it harder for them to change. I thought about that. Some people I've had very negative thoughts about, mostly because they hurt me and especially when I didn't expect that they would. I was running through names and situations in my mind and each of these people I'd seen a lot of good in. I need to go d a way to cultivate better thoughts and hope for their good even if they are not safe for me to have contact with them. Just let go, wish the best for them. Ive heard versions of this thought several times in the past day, but this lady so clearly expressed it.

Simply LeAnn: Today I ended up authorizing my h more work on my car than I expected in my wildest dreams. Is it really needed stuff? I have no idea and I hate that

I spent some time today watching YouTube videos about life in Tennessee. Then somehow they sequed to YouTubes about things like Near Death Experiences and other spiritual topics and ideas of what the purpose of life might be and where does consciousness come from. It was a trippy day. I fell asleep on the couch only to awaken to see a Tom Tom panel apparently hosted by John Cleese. A bit surreal. I may look at that again primarily for the reading list. The only book I can remember is The Irreducible Mind.

This is such an odd period of life for me, and one filled with big questions.

Simply LeAnn: Getting a slower start than I wanted to, but some delays are worth it. Just need to make it by 6 pmor do. Dinner at Spencer's at 6:30
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