RosyBlack Offline

RosyBlack: <img src="https://scontent-sea1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/399869540_361887579538518_1687231798519754830_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_p526x296&amp;_nc_cat=105&amp;ccb=1-7&amp;_nc_sid=5f2048&amp;_nc_ohc=8b1ADj1ypAAAX9CLq9_&amp;_nc_ht=scontent-sea1-1.xx&amp;oh=00_AfA3lV-VWKyDbN8kE_AKNx8LMn3elvgE1ZTJqKLir-MNFA&amp;oe=6552D8FF" alt="May be a black-and-white image of text"/>

RosyBlack:

RosyBlack: I know I shouldn’t have done this, but I am 83 years old and I was in the McDonald’s drive-through this morning and the young lady behind me leaned on her horn and started mouthing something because I was taking too long to place my order. So when I got to the first window
I paid for her order along with my own. The cashier must have told her what I'd done because as we moved up she leaned out her window and waved to me and mouthed "Thank you.", obviously embarrassed that I had repaid her rudeness with kindness.
When I got to the second window I showed them both receipts and took her food too. Now she has to go back to the end of the queue and start all over again,
Don't blow your horn at old people, they have been around a long time.

RosyBlack: A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. Amazing, he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, What am I doing? I'm too old for this, and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a state trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper 😁😁😁

RosyBlack: Happy St. Patrick's Day!!

RosyBlack: Really how stupid and childish are you?

RosyBlack:
The Washcloth



Ladies, this has to be read, laughed at and passed on. There is not a woman alive who won't crack up over this!




I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am.. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already




around 8:45 am. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time to spare.



As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the full effort. So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in 'that area' to make sure I was at least presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.



I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away. I was a little surprised when the doctor said, 'My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven't

we?'



I didn't respond.



After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day was normal ... some shopping, cleaning, cooking.



After school when my 6-year-old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, 'Mommy, where's my washcloth?'



I told her to get another one from the cupboard.



She replied, 'No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it.'



Never going back to that doctor.



Ever.

RosyBlack:

The Veterinarian


One Sunday, counting the money in the weekly offering, the Pastor of a small church found a pink envelope containing $1,000. It happened again the next week!

The following Sunday, he watched asthe offering was collected and saw an elderly woman put the distinctive pink envelope on the plate. This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her.




"Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate," he said.

"Why yes," she replied, "every week my son sends me money and I give some of it
to the church."




The pastor replied, "That's wonderful. But $1000 is a lot, are you sure you can afford
this? How much does he send you?"


The elderly woman answered, "$10,000a week."

The pastor was amazed. "Your son is very successful; what does he do for a living?"

"He is a veterinarian," she answered.

"That's an honorable profession, but I had no idea they made that much money," the pastor said. "Where does he practice?"


The woman answered proudly, "In Nevada ... He has two cat houses, one in Las Vegas and one in Reno ."

RosyBlack: Found this old story and thought y'all would like it too!! ❤️
The Christmas Coat
An old boy was fumblin around one day
In a women’s clothing store
He’d found his wife a Christmas coat
And was headed for the door
When he bumped into a little boy
That looked like he was lost
And he said “Mister can you help me
Find out how much something costs?
Here it is almost Christmas
And the nights are gettin cold
Winter time is on us
And my mom don’t have a coat
I’ve been workin for the neighbors
And saving for a time”
And in his tiny outstretched hand
Was a dollar and a dime
His gaze went from that big eyed boy
To that pretty Christmas coat
And he finally cleared away the lump
That had gathered in his throat
He said “Son
that’s just what this coat costs
We’re lucky that we found ‘er”
And he turned around and gave a wink
To the lady at the counter
She put it in a pretty box
And wrapped it up just so
And went off in the back
And found a big red Christmas bow
He said “ I thank you for your help sir
And I kindly thank you ma’am
I hope y’all are gonna have a big Christmas
Cause now I know I am”
Well the old boy walked home busted
Except for the dollar and the dime
Thinkin he’d just have to buy
The coat another time
He told his wife that Christmas this year
Wouldn’t be much fun
And he gently took her in his arms
And told her what he’d done
She said “ why you old softie
I wouldn’t trade you for a farm
I’ve got two or three old coats
And your love to keep me warm “
She put that money in a matchbox
And placed it beneath their tree
And said “that is the grandest gift
You’ve ever given me”
The years went by like years will do
When people are in love
Their marriage was a golden bond
That was forged by God above
Then one day came some bitter news
That filled his heart with fright
The doctor told the old man’s wife
That she was going to lose her sight
He said “there’s an operation we can do
But it puts me on the spot
Cause it’s a quite complex procedure
And it’s going to cost a lot”
The old man said “doctor I’m a failure
I’ve made no preparation
We don’t have the money
For that kind of an operation “
The doctor got the strangest look
And he sat there for a while
And then he slowly nodded
And he broke out in a smile
He said “ why sir you can’t fool me
You’re a very wealthy man
You long ago invested
In the world’s best savings plan
I’ll see she gets the best of care
She’s going to be just fine
And the total cost to you old friend
Is a dollar and a dime”
The old man stared in disbelief
Then he recognized that smile
The one he’d seen those years ago
On a loving thoughtful child
He said “what you gave to me that day
Was more than just a coat
You gave me the gift of giving
And you gave my mother hope
My mother’d been mistreated
Neglected and abused
But she gave life just one more chance
And it was all because of you
Now every year she takes that coat
And lays it beneath our tree
It represents to us the things
That Christmas ought to be
She says that when we leave this world
For a better home someday
The only things that we’ll take with us
Are the things we gave away “

RosyBlack: A woman decided to give herself a big treat for her 70th birthday by staying overnight in a really nice hotel.. When she checked out the next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00.  She demanded to know why the charge was so high "I agree it's a nice hotel, but the rooms aren't worth $250..00 for just an overnight stay - I didn't even have breakfast!"  The clerk told her that $250.00 is the 'standard rate,' and breakfast had been included had she wanted it. 
She insisted on speaking to the Manager. The Manager appeared and, forewarned by the desk clerk, announced: "This hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are available for use." 
"But I didn't use them."  'Well, they are here, and you could have." He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which they were so famous."We have the best entertainers from the world over performing here."  "But I didn't go to any of those shows.."  "Well, we have them, and you could have."  No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, "But I didn't use it!" and the Manager countered with his standard response.  After several minutes discussion, and with the Manager still unmoved, she decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to him. The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check.  "But Madam, this check is for only $50.00"  "That's correct I charged you $200.00 for sleeping with me."  "But I didn't!"  "Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."
Author Unknown

RosyBlack:

RosyBlack: So an elderly Italian man living alone in New Jersey wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, since the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over.. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Papa
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Pop,
Don’t dig up that garden. That’s where the bodies are buried.
Love,
Vinnie
At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you,
😊

RosyBlack:

RosyBlack: Merry Christmas to all my Wire friends. :-)

RosyBlack to DONUSVET:

RosyBlack to DONUSVET:

RosyBlack: Found this old story and thought y'all would like it too!! ❤️
The Christmas Coat
An old boy was fumblin around one day
In a women’s clothing store
He’d found his wife a Christmas coat
And was headed for the door
When he bumped into a little boy
That looked like he was lost
And he said “Mister can you help me
Find out how much something costs?
Here it is almost Christmas
And the nights are gettin cold
Winter time is on us
And my mom don’t have a coat
I’ve been workin for the neighbors
And saving for a time”
And in his tiny outstretched hand
Was a dollar and a dime
His gaze went from that big eyed boy
To that pretty Christmas coat
And he finally cleared away the lump
That had gathered in his throat
He said “Son
that’s just what this coat costs
We’re lucky that we found ‘er”
And he turned around and gave a wink
To the lady at the counter
She put it in a pretty box
And wrapped it up just so
And went off in the back
And found a big red Christmas bow
He said “ I thank you for your help sir
And I kindly thank you ma’am
I hope y’all are gonna have a big Christmas
Cause now I know I am”
Well the old boy walked home busted
Except for the dollar and the dime
Thinkin he’d just have to buy
The coat another time
He told his wife that Christmas this year
Wouldn’t be much fun
And he gently took her in his arms
And told her what he’d done
She said “ why you old softie
I wouldn’t trade you for a farm
I’ve got two or three old coats
And your love to keep me warm “
She put that money in a matchbox
And placed it beneath their tree
And said “that is the grandest gift
You’ve ever given me”
The years went by like years will do
When people are in love
Their marriage was a golden bond
That was forged by God above
Then one day came some bitter news
That filled his heart with fright
The doctor told the old man’s wife
That she was going to lose her sight
He said “there’s an operation we can do
But it puts me on the spot
Cause it’s a quite complex procedure
And it’s going to cost a lot”
The old man said “doctor I’m a failure
I’ve made no preparation
We don’t have the money
For that kind of an operation “
The doctor got the strangest look
And he sat there for a while
And then he slowly nodded
And he broke out in a smile
He said “ why sir you can’t fool me
You’re a very wealthy man
You long ago invested
In the world’s best savings plan
I’ll see she gets the best of care
She’s going to be just fine
And the total cost to you old friend
Is a dollar and a dime”
The old man stared in disbelief
Then he recognized that smile
The one he’d seen those years ago
On a loving thoughtful child
He said “what you gave to me that day
Was more than just a coat
You gave me the gift of giving
And you gave my mother hope
My mother’d been mistreated
Neglected and abused
But she gave life just one more chance
And it was all because of you
Now every year she takes that coat
And lays it beneath our tree
It represents to us the things
That Christmas ought to be
She says that when we leave this world
For a better home someday
The only things that we’ll take with us
Are the things we gave away “

RosyBlack: <img src="https://scontent-sea1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/306900075_5877627312250085_1073078019594569479_n.jpg?stp=cp6_dst-jpg_p526x296&amp;_nc_cat=1&amp;ccb=1-7&amp;_nc_sid=8bfeb9&amp;_nc_ohc=455wi78EoNYAX8anpVs&amp;tn=suQc8sDNuqF1-wrr&amp;_nc_ht=scontent-sea1-1.xx&amp;oh=00_AT9267pOCAK5t0d1bqVlnM5xWCHULbIpiAIlK4D1hqulTg&amp;oe=6327F855" alt="May be an image of text that says &#39;An old lady with a cane was walking past a young man at the bus stop singing, &quot;21 today, 21 today.&quot; The young man says, &quot;You are not 21, you crazy old cow.&quot; She turns to him and with a mighty swing cracks him over his head with her cane and walks away singing, &quot;22 today, 22 today!&quot;&#39;"/>

RosyBlack: One day in heaven, God asked all the men to form 2 lines . One line for the men that ran their homes and the other for the men that let their wives run the home .
after the lines were form God looked and the line that the wives ran the home had 100's in it and the other line only had 1 man in it . God looked at the lines amazed and then asked the man in the line by himself , what is it you done to be in this line and run your household and be the leader that i created. And the man responded " God i don't know what ive done , my wife told me to stand here ".