RinRex Offline

120 In a relationship Female from Denver       110
         
Meh

RinRex
RinRex: Why I haven't gotten help:
It's taking me a lot longer to go to a therapist, in too fucking anxious to say anything to ask for help -_- it's like I think of something I need to say or I write a note or something to ask for help but then it's either they don't actually bring me to a therapist and say I'm fine and then I give up trying bc I don't wanna get on their bad side or anything, or I go back and fourth and back and fourth in my mind about dumb shit that could happen if I asked for help. Like aghhh ig I just gotta be patient with myself and my parents both. Xp
Or if I directly tell them what's happening ex of a conversation I had with my mom once:
Me: "sometimes I hear voices that arnt mine and it kinda worries me can I get it checked out?"
Mom: "Kayla stop looking up things like this on the internet or I'm going to take away your phone"
Me: "... Ok." (Inside I give up and stop trying because I know she dosnt believe me and thinks I'm making up things)

Later:
Mom: "you need to go back to school in person"
Me: "why?"
Mom: "because your getting bored and making up things inside your head you need to make freinds not imaginary friends"
Me: (gets angery because I hate going to school in person because of reasons) "I don't want to go to school because I have to wear those stupid masks and I just sit around bored all day anyways it's no different than being at home really"
Mom: "fine then you have to go to orchestra in person at least, you need to get out of the house"
Me: "fine..." (Realizes the conversation went away from the main topic but I'm too nervous to bring up the original topic because me mom's already annoyed with me arguing about going to school or not)

Few days later:
Mom: (has been yelling at me already for my grades dropping below a b) "it's because your on your dang phone all the time, if you don't get your grades back up I'm taking you back to school and I will take your phone every day before school"
Me: (knows it's not my phone or me being at home, it's mostly bc of my horrible memory I have bc of this weird mental thing going on) "mom I'll get my grades up I promise, and it's not because of my phone or not being at schools,... It's probably my adhd and the weather and time change, also I had a migraine today (I didn't) so I fell behind I'll get my grades up before the end of the week if I can't then you can take me back to school again."

Later
Me: (desperately brings my grades back up a few days later after hardly sleeping to do so and writes an email for my mom in attempt to have her read everything before she says or argues about stuff with me but... I can't send it. Why? Because I fear she would get mad that I'm "making stuff up" then she would take my phone, make me go to school, and it would end up making whatever's going on, worse, because for me, school is one of the most uncomfortable places for me to be because I worry about everything, I'm pushes aside as a background character and I can't stand being back at school again if I don't absolutely have too)

And that's why I'm stalling to seek professional help, and as long as I'm okayish for now, with the help of friends, I'm holding on untill I'm able to get my own help, but for now it's not that easy to get help. So I have to assume shit and just try my best on my own.

It's the fact my mom denies something could be wrong with me that causes me to not ask for help. And it fucking sucks. And no I can't just go to a counciler or something bc it's the same thing. Idv asked for help and they denied anything was wrong.

Am I just lying to myself?
2 months ago Report Link
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RinRex
RinRex: Thank you Aslan
2 months ago Report
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(Post deleted by RinRex 2 months ago)
RinRex
RinRex: Dis shit better fucking end today -.-
15 hours ago Report
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RinRex
RinRex: Last night I didn't sleep, reason being I'm anxious. I'm about to take a huge step in my life. I think it's about time I ask for help from my parents. My mental health is taking a huge toll on my grades, social life, physical health, and relationship with my family. I'm going simple right now but I'll be completely honest with them. I'm greatful for the parents I have and I know that they love me. Weather they will actually help or not, I don't know. I'm scared they will take what I say too lightly. I believe at this point, I need a therapist, because I'm stuck, no matter how many times I try to get my life back together lately I'm not strong enough to keep it stable. Wish me luck.
22 hours ago Report Link
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Wolfpup_Ivy
Wolfpup_Ivy: Good luck Rin-Chan!!
22 hours ago Report
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Dakota_Price
Dakota_Price: morning
19 hours ago Report
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Dakota_Price
Dakota_Price: good luck friend
19 hours ago Report
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RinRex
RinRex: "having anxiety and depression is like being scared and tired at the same time. It's the fear of failure, but no urge to be productive. It's wanting friends, but hate socializing. It's wanting to be alone, but not wanting to be lonely. It's feeling everything at once then feeling paralyzing numb."
1 day ago Report Link
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RinRex
RinRex: •^•
I have a challenge, expose yourself.
(Btw there's a blank one for anyone brave)
Why tf am I scared of abandonment and social things at the same time.......
XD
1 day ago Report Link
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Kenice_
Kenice_: I will what do I need to do?
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RinRex
RinRex: Take the empty one and edit it in photos
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RinRex
RinRex: Anyone who is friends with Emily hicks by tonight will be blocked regardless if I'm close with you or not. This is how bad Emily's messed up before, to the point im willing to lose friends, so remove her or be removed.
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xXFrostShadowXx
xXFrostShadowXx: Idek what happened but I've never been friends with her
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TwintailAslan
TwintailAslan: I have no idea who that person is.
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DeathWingYt
DeathWingYt: Removed her
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RinRex
RinRex: Card of the day, seems about right.
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TwintailAslan
TwintailAslan: I used to get this card... a LOT when I would do readings.
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RinRex
RinRex: Computer generated tarot, still works.
3 days ago Report Link
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RinRex
RinRex: I'm gonna pat myself on the back 'Cause I did the bare minimum Where the fuck is my medal? Tweetin' from my brand new condominium
My legacy will never burn down What you gonna do when it's your turn now? Dance with the devil, don't pull her into bed Anyone's a hero with a bullet in the head I have been around since you were just a child You think that you can stop me? Then you are in denial I own all of the jury, the judge over the trial You walked into a trap, I walk out with a smile
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Helliot Blood
Helliot Blood: Oof not me? lol jk
3 days ago Report
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TwintailAslan
TwintailAslan: Ozzy! Ozzy is totally trustworthy~
3 days ago Report
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RinRex
RinRex: Yes
3 days ago Report
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RinRex
RinRex: I sometimes have trouble find a profile picture I feel fits what I am and how I feel while also not going too far.
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RinRex got the Sister badge from Kenice_ 3 days ago Report
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(Post deleted by Kenice_ 2 days ago)
RinRex
RinRex: I'ma finally admit it, the weeks I've slowly been getting more and more depressed. I don't have a reason either.
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RinRex
RinRex: Thing is I don't have anything to talk about besides the fact that I have no motivation and just feel super low xp.
3 days ago Report
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Monochrome_
Monochrome_: Well, even then, if you need to laugh ornsnks
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RinRex
RinRex: Lol okay
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RinRex
RinRex changed her profile picture: 3 days ago Report
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Red Toxin
Red Toxin: Oooooooo me like
1 month ago Report
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RinRex
RinRex: Yus phoenix •^•
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RinRex
RinRex: Chatroom: Rins Stoopid Friends >.> Orphans I can see you're online
4 days ago Report Link
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RinRex
RinRex: Apparently the queen of sass looks like Jesus according to Google xD
6 days ago Report Link
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RinRex
RinRex: I can't breathe
6 days ago Report
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Monochrome_
Monochrome_: XD oh no
6 days ago Report
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cloudy_winds
cloudy_winds: BAHAHA I CAAANT
5 days ago Report
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RinRex
RinRex: This one is terrifying xD
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RinRex
RinRex: Any cat owner should know what those eyes mean.
6 days ago Report
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Monochrome_
Monochrome_: "The time of reckoning has come, Thomas."
6 days ago Report
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RinRex
RinRex: xD
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RinRex
RinRex: WHY THE FUCK IS THIS SO FUNNY xD
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TwintailAslan got the Pretzel badge from RinRex 8 days ago Report
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RinRex
RinRex: •^•
8 days ago Report
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TwintailAslan
TwintailAslan: I have no idea WHY the pretzel, but thank you nonetheless!
8 days ago Report
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RinRex
RinRex: Yus
8 days ago Report
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RinRex
RinRex: You have made it to the wall of goldshits
I mean fish
8 days ago Report Link
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Monochrome_
Monochrome_: Goldshits strike again
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RinRex
RinRex: Fish*
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(Post deleted by Kenice_ 8 days ago)
RinRex
RinRex: Ded talon had funeral today •^•
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TwintailAslan 9 days ago Report
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cloudy_winds 9 days ago Report
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Pashtel
Pashtel: F
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RinRex Created a new chat room:
Rin's Big Brain Friends 10 days ago Report
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RinRex
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RinRex
RinRex: Wow kenice is smarter than her XD - pats her head and passes chocolate as reward - xD lmfao
10 days ago Report
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Kenice_
Kenice_ in reply to RinRex: puts it in my purse 😂
10 days ago Report
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cloudy_winds
cloudy_winds: wait i want some chocolate too lol
10 days ago Report
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RinRex
RinRex: "I only give respect to the ones i trust and know"
Karma, in response to that before you blocked me and didn't let me finish -.-,
I think you're confused, you shouldn't give attitude to people you don't know at first, because that's how you lose people who are trust worthy. You don't have to respect someone right away but you definitely should not treat them like trash, just cause you don't know them, that's where you fucked up. You treated all these trust worthy people like trash and lost them and now you arnt welcome there because you can't fucking take credit of being an ass to all of us the second you entered.

And for everyone else seeing this

I don't fucking take attitude as an introduction to a person.
Someone fucks up one they are dead to me for ever.
That's it.
10 days ago Report Link
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Kenice_
Kenice_: same for me
10 days ago Report
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RinRex
RinRex: Tell me this is not sexist >->
10 days ago Report Link
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RinRex
RinRex: Just cause I'm female dose not mean people aren't sexist to me
10 days ago Report
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cloudy_winds
cloudy_winds: damn, people never cease to amaze me with their stupidity
10 days ago Report
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RinRex
RinRex: - gags -
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RinRex
RinRex: Don't read it if you get triggered by >.> Whatever that was ^
11 days ago Report
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babybunnybelle17
babybunnybelle17: >////////////< traumatizing
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kittywantsrp
kittywantsrp: 🤢
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