onlyaflame Online31 • Male •
Hognose snake and tour of my room
"I was chopping weeds in my garden & heard my dogs barking persistently at some thing. I went to check out what they had surrounded next to the house of course. To no surprise it was a hognose snake, fantastic creature & it seems they are so gentle as well. It usually rolls over and plays dead as another trick. This one is from north carolina & it is black on top. Great find, if you want to know more look them up as a animal they are great to see. "
onlyaflame: I felt more or less worse everyday i woke up. Thank goodness i went on amazon and guy a portable power inverter lithium ion charged. I am going to walk around with high powered lights soon I hope that last for a hour or more. Welcome to photography. I need to study gel film covering too. I saw it as a lighting suggestion or how to control your light fixture.
onlyaflame: Why do I even add women if i cant have anyone? You or anyone would be mad as well after repeated being lied to about love or crushes.
Thats the manner of what I deal with every woman I've met on wire so far lead me on. Even then its like every woman is the same,
they just want to make you feel better but not actually date you. Its hard to be alive in the world & be alone forever
but I am trying very hard to work out the lonelyness. Its just hard to adapt to even after 31 years of isolation &
its not a joke or helpful for women to talk to me nicely & just go away suddenly. I dont see why people dont understand "anger".
Am i suspended for being angry about love? The fact is every woman that says she wants anything to do with me goes away.
I wonder why that it. I suppose now that I think about it, I had a reason to be angry, and a reason is good enough for me.
I slept all day depressed. I don't think its right for women to say theyre into you & that actually be a lie or a half truth.
Im tired of love, i hate the idea and i would really enjoy being able to. I guess i just have a extremely hard time talking to women.
If i try to love at all, they just
leave me before we even get the chance to do anything at all.
I suppose that will make anyone upset.
Its the entire point of being alive "to live as oneself" A living in principle to LIVE to be awake not asleep.
People wake my heart up and turn it black. The girls dont know how to treat people, it may even be best if
i dont talk to women but it is VERY hard not to in this reality, in this space and time. I feel awake,
i want to look around for something else, but i wish sometimes I could have love. How come everyone
in the world gets something but i cant? Then everyone wonders why
I am so cruel when i dont have anything at all? It's odd because i wish that women leading me on wasnt the case
its suppose to be fun, you go out and do something fun. Youre supposed to actually like eachother, I dont care if it sounds corpereal isnt love suppose to be a great
thing and how everyone talks so big about it. Why am i in the darkness? Everything i have to do is alone in deep lonely breaths. Everyone
treats me like im a patient. Im really tired of reality. Everyone would be angry if they were treated like i was. I dont understand whats wrong with females.
All i know is love sucks, and its extremely painful and produces nothing good as far as ive felt. Its a horrible feeling. It's supposed to be nice to like someone
to have a friend to talk to, someone to hang around with. Something normal, nothing like...the other trillion boring things in the world. Nature is nice,art is nice, love would be nice.
Its important to know that most the women on wire left me, and most the women on tinychat were into alcoholics anyway. I guess looking for love wherever I go may not be very possible.
Has anyone noticed that in philosophy chatroom most the women that got banned were males in polynamorous relationships? If that wasnt the case i am completely confused.
Most the people that trolled me were unhappy with their lives. I find that anonymity is a odd thing to have when youre changing your relationship status or your sexual preference.
The whole thing behind that is why are you going male to female? Its the entire community on most of the website.
I hope to feel like one day someone of the opposite sex is into mountain hiking, beach, and or technologies such as electrical or analogue both. THERE isnt much else do other than arts or crafts.
I just hope i find someone serious one day that doesnt duck me and hide like its some game. I guess what i mean is i hope one day i find out what dating is like.
onlyaflame: My 6 year old audio cable plays out, and I have a reason to go out this weekend music is a PASSIONATE reason
I was wanting to come check out the area since it had flooded before. I found that the beaver lodge there had grown much larger but only after a while had i noticed that. The beaver itself was quite large and came very close! It startled me
onlyaflame: I am sortof glad im not going to the beach, I wanted a few things off amazon
Im probably going next week maybe...I have to look into what im buying and what is a priority to me. It is really great to be innovative and once again im skipping many meals and eating cheap beans and rices n such
My next video is a rain video & its kindof loud from the rain hitting me, i lost about 1/3 of all the film somehow. The moisture built up in my cam from touching it while my hands were wet earlier. I unclog a beaver dam and check out the flow rate of water in the woods. How fun
onlyaflame: I was trying out my new gym prescription, i am heading in the direction of using weights again. I worked in my garden before I went & worked in it after gym. I am really glad there is one near where I stay at.