☆Thank God I Found You☆

For the man I love with all my heart. I would have never been able to do all the things I'm doing now without him, and I do not know where I would be without him.

I would give up everything
Before I'd separate myself from you
After so much suffering
I finally found unvarnished truth
I was all by myself for the longest time
So cold inside
And the hurt from the heartache would not subside
I felt like dying
Until you saved my life

Thank God I found you (Yeah yeah)
I was lost without you (I was lost)
My every wish and every dream
Somehow became reality
When you brought the sunlight
Completed my whole life
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
'Cause baby I'm so thankful I found you

I will give you everything (Everything)
There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do (Oh no)
To ensure your happiness
I'll cherish every part of you
'Cause without you beside me I can't survive
Don't wanna try (I don't wanna try)
If you keeping me warm each and every night
I'll be alright
'Cause I need you in my life

Thank God I found you (I'm thanking you)
I was lost without you (So lost without you)
My every wish and every dream (Every wish, every dream)
Somehow became reality
When you brought the sunlight (Brought the sunlight)
Completed my whole life (Completed)
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude (Overwhelmed with gratitude)
'Cause baby I'm so thankful I found you

See I was so desolate before you came to me
Looking back (Looking back)
I guess it shows that we were destined
To shine over the rain to appreciate
The gift of what we have
And I'd go through it all over again
To be able to feel
This way (This way)
Oh, thank God I found you (Yeah yeah)
I was lost without you (Lost without you baby)
My every wish and every dream (And every dream)
Somehow became reality

When you brought the sunlight (Brought the light)
Completed my whole life (My whole life)
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
See baby I'm so thankful I found you
Oh, thank God I found you
I was lost without you
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude (So overwhelmed)
My baby I'm so thankful I found
You, you
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
My baby I'm so thankful I found (I found you)
You

☆Longing☆

The words, we used to hurt each other
The tears we cried together,
all of this will become a memory one day.
Therefore... I hold the interrupted melody
in my heart. I will be alive tomorrow,
even if I cannot see you.

Sing without you
I'll sing without you
Can't you feel my heart
Falling through the rain

I sing without you
I'll sing without you
Can't you hold my tears
Cause, still I love you

I can't face the thought of being alone
I sing for the song still carries on
let me sing of the thoughts, i hold in my heart
even if there's no voice left.

Sing without you
I'll sing without you
Can't you feel my pain
There's nothing I can do

I still have a longing for your memory
Even if it's just pain,
I want to tell you what's in my heart.

Don't leave me alone now
The dream, that seems to break in the rain,
it will sing on tomorrow....

Sing without you
I'll sing without you
Can't you feel my heart
Falling through the rain

I sing without you
I'll sing without you
Can't you hold my tears
Cause, still I love you

I sing without you
I'll sing without you
Can't you feel my heart
Falling through the rain

☆To Mother☆

Well, you said it yourself
Tearfully, hanging your head

That if we couldn’t lie anymore
We wouldn’t be able to survive

It’s because I want to be loved
That I kept smiling
No matter how much it hurt, ah ah

I could take
The sadness
If it was just me, but...

Kindness
Is cruel, isn’t it?

It even throws
Your heart into confusion

I always want to be with you
But these days I’m finding more and more things I hate about you

We’re similar, aren’t we?
I think I kind of understand

Maybe I’ll be able to change
The day I find
Someone I can love, ah ah

Happiness
Won’t shine
Like magic

But hate
Is just a trivial misunderstanding, right?
Don’t cry

It’s just fate, I can change it
I said as I ran out of the house
And cried in the night

On a bench in the deserted park
I waited for you to come for me

Sadness
Becomes warm somehow
When we cuddle up together

Kindness
Is something we find ourselves taking advantage of
When we’re together

Hey
Happiness
It’s
Probably

Because I
Had you


Romaji:
Datte anata itta ja nai
Namida goe utsumuita mama

Uso mo tsuke naku nattara
Ikite yuke naku naru yoto

Aisarete itai to omou kara
Donna itami datte
Waratte miseta ah ah

Kanashimi tte
Atashi hitori dake nara
Taerareru noni

Yasashisa tte
Zankoku yo ne?

Kokoro made
Midareru mono

Zutto issho ni itai kedo
Kirai na toko ga fueru hibi

Nita mono doushi nanda yo ne?
Wakaru youna ki mo shiteru

Aishi aeru hito ga dekita no
Sonna hi ga kureba
Kawareru kana ah ah

Shiawase tte
Mahou mitai ni
Kagayaite kurenai kedo

Nikushimi tte
Sasai na surechigai desho?
Nakanaide

Takaga unmei nante
Kaete yukerun datte
Ichi wo tobidashite yoru ni naita

Daremo inai kouen no benchi de
Mukae ni kite kureru no wo matte ita

Kanashimi tte
Yorisoeba doko to naku
Atatakakute

Yasashisa tte
Soba ni areba futo
Amaete shimau mono

Nee
Shiawase yo
Tabun
Atashi

Anata ga

☆Only Human By K ☆

I am performing in a Japanese festival at my college. I wanted to sing this song for my mom. My mom had a hard life but she would always smile for me so I wouldn't ever worried. Not a lot of people back then understood what it was like to be a child with a parent who had a mental illness that could change their entire being. My father's family talked bad about her but they refused to see that she was just human just like everyone else. My mom would do her best to make sure that my brother and I had the best toys, even lost her car because of it. I love her, and I miss every day so I wanted to perform a song in her honor. I posted the English translation on the bottom of the video. BTW this video is one of my most favorite Japanese dramas called 1 liter of tears. A young girl gets an incurable disease and struggles day to day as it begins to develop and shrink her cerebellum, and eventually she loses the capability to write, eat, and talk.









On the opposite coast of sadness
Is something called a smile

On the opposite coast of sadness
is something called a smile
But before we can go there,
is there something we’re waiting for?

In order to chase our dreams, we can’t have a reason to run away
We’ve got to go, to that far away summer’s day

If we find it tomorrow, we can’t sigh
Because like a boat that opposes the stream
we have to walk straight on

In a place worn down by sadness
something called a miracle, is waiting
Yet we are still searching
for the sunflower that grows at the end of spring

The warrior who awaits the morning light
before he can clasp it with red nails, his tears glitter and fall

Even if we’ve grown used to loneliness
only relying on the light of the moon
We have to fly away with featherless wing
just go foward, just a little further

As the rainclouds break
the wet streets sparkling
Although it brings only darkness
A powerful, powerful light
helps push us to walk on

★Dear Mom★

★This Is Gospel★

This is gospel for the fallen ones
Locked away in permanent slumber
Assembling their philosophies
From pieces of broken memories

Oh, this is the beat of my heart, this is the beat of my heart
Oh, this is the beat of my heart, this is the beat of my heart

The gnashing teeth and criminal tongues conspire against the odds
But they haven't seen the best of us yet

If you love me let me go
If you love me let me go
'Cause these words are knives that often leave scars
The fear of falling apart
And truth be told, I never was yours
The fear, the fear of falling apart

Oh, this is the beat of my heart, this is the beat of my heart
Oh, this is the beat of my heart, this is the beat of my heart

This is gospel for the vagabonds,
Never-do-wells and insufferable bastards
Confessing their apostasies
Led away by imperfect impostors

Oh, this is the beat of my heart, this is the beat of my heart
Oh, this is the beat of my heart, this is the beat of my heart

Don't try to sleep through the end of the world
Bury me alive
'Cause I won't give up without a fight

If you love me let me go
If you love me let me go
'Cause these words are knives that often leave scars
The fear of falling apart
And truth be told, I never was yours
The fear, the fear of falling apart

Oh, the fear of falling apart
Oh, the fear, the fear of falling apart

Oh (This is the beat of my heart)
The fear of falling apart

Oh (This is the beat of my heart)
The fear of falling apart

Oh (This is the beat of my heart)
The fear of falling apart

Oh (This is the beat of my heart)
The fear of falling apart

★Burn It Down★

I could tell you the most horrible story to ever exist, but that is just my opinion. I am here standing mentally in front of my own worse enemy. It's not the cliche thing that my enemy is me, but it is the person that created this hatred that brews within my heart. You are the cause of this internal war I am now brought back into.

Here I am standing on one side of the battle field, ready to face my fate. I seek to avenge my loved one that I have lost to this monster who thinks himself human. In my heart, the hatred is unsettling until he knows the pain that he has caused to myself, and to others. I will no longer allow this man to hide behind his mask and to allow him to lie to society about who he is. It's time to bring out his true self.

Just because you are labeled as a father doesn't mean you are one. Father is just a name we throw around like the word "love". My hatred for you has grown more ever since the day I found out she'd taken her last breath. You show no remorse, no sadness, no emotion what so ever that she is gone. The woman that bare us, your own flesh and blood but blood means nothing to you. Greed is what is most important in your book, is that why you taken time to beat her every chance you could. The childhood eyes do not betray me from what I saw hiding behind that broken piece of scrap metal.

My ears betray me not the filthy words you shouted to her to raise your ego, and then you turned your anger onto me. An innocent child who has no control over her world. You blamed me for everything in which I inflicted blame onto myself but as I grew older and wiser I realized that you were wrong. I am not to blame. I am not at fault and I will not allow you to get away thinking that. Father dearest, you did not raise me to the person I am today. You did not help me at all get to where I am today and the successes I have accomplished. You are merely a vessel with a demon inside using us to soak up government money to pay for your mistakes.

No, now that I am able to speak for myself, I will. You are no longer welcomed back into my life. My mother suffered so much because of you and your hatred. Don't make any more excuses because they are not going to save you now that I know that I am not the only one who knows the truth. Now that I have people who believe me and is not persuaded by your words, I am not accepting of my scars and will continue on life without you. Tell your friends, tell all of them how you mistreated me, broke me down to nothing and try to take away my last ounce of dignity because you felt in control. I am not your punching bag, and I am not going to allow myself be one either. This is where I light the match and burn down the bridge that connects us. The only time I intend on seeing you is when it is your time. I was taught not to hate, but I will not give you the satisfactory into thinking that I will roll over for you. I care about you but I sure as hell don't like you, not after all the pain and strife you put me through. Until the day you realize what you've done then maybe then you'll realize your mistakes and take responsibility. Until then, you are nothing to me but a phantom of my memories.






The cycle repeated
As explosions broke in the sky
All that I needed
Was the one thing I couldn't find

And you were there at the turn
Waiting to let me know

[Chorus:]
We're building it up
To break it back down
We're building it up
To burn it down
We can't wait
To burn it to the ground

The colors conflicted
As the flames climbed into the clouds.
I wanted to fix this
But couldn't stop from tearing it down.

And you were there at the turn
Caught in the burning glow
And I was there at the turn
Waiting to let you know

[Chorus:]
We're building it up
To break it back down
We're building it up
To burn it down
We can't wait
To burn it to the ground

You told me, "Yes"
You held me high
And I believed when you told that lie
I played soldier, you played king
And struck me down, when I kissed that ring
You lost that right, to hold that crown
I built you up, but you let me down
So when you fall, I'll take my turn
And fan the flames
As your blazes burn

And you were there at the turn
Waiting to let me know

[Chorus:]
We're building it up
To break it back down
We're building it up
To burn it down
We can't wait
To burn it to the ground

When you fall, I'll take my turn
And fan the flames
As your blazes burn

We can't wait
To burn it to the ground

When you fall, I'll take my turn
And fan the flames
As your blazes burn

We can't wait
To burn it to the ground

★Scars★

Did I say something stupid?
There goes one more mistake
Do I bore you with my problems?
Is that why you turn away?
Do you know how hard I've tried
To become what you want me to be

Take me, this is all that I've got
This is all that I'm not, all that I'll ever be
I've got flaws, I've got faults
Keep searching for your perfect heart
It doesn't matter who you are
We all have our scars, we all have our scars

You say don't act like a child
But what if it's a father I need?
It's not like you don't know
What you got yourself into
Don't tell me I'm the one who's naïve
Do you know how hard I've tried
To become what you want me to be

Take me, this is all that I've got
This is all that I'm not, all that I'll ever be
I've got flaws, I've got faults
Keep searching for your perfect heart
It doesn't matter who you are
We all have our scars, we all have our scars

Come on, just let it go
These are things you can't control
Your expectations, your explanations
Don't make sense to me
You and your alternatives
Don't send me to your therapist
Deep down I know what you mean
And I'm not sure that's what I wanna be
Oh oh, oh oh oh, no oh

Take me, this is all that I've got
This is all that I'm not, all that I'll ever be
I've got flaws, I've got faults
Keep searching for your perfect heart
It doesn't matter who you are
We all have our scars, we all have our scars
Oh oh, oh oh, no no no, oh oh, ooh oh oh

Did I say something stupid?
There goes one more mistake



So, I have come to the decision to completely disconnect myself from my biological father. He doesn't know that I'm planning to do this, and basically if he cares to know how I am then he can call me, otherwise he won't know what's going on in my life, nor will I lean on him to help me for anything unless if he offers first.

I told him that I had gotten into a better and higher ranking college. Rank #8 for study abroad, but he just doesn't seem to care. I began to question if I was really in college for myself, and finally came to the answer that yes, I am in college for myself, but at the same time I was that little girl trying to do everything to impress daddy, which is not healthy for me to do, so this disconnection is happening, and I am going to push forward with my life.

★He Is A Monkey By Angelo★

CHRIST IS A MONKEY

Pretending not to see how things really are
Offering prayers to your idol
I’m coming to steal you away
from this mess you’re stuck in.

when it comes down to it,
it was created by animals, an illusion they put in place
so let’s do away with this farce that doesn’t seem to want to end anytime soon.

Don’t be fooled by such “justice,” spit on that crucified fraud.

held in these arms of mine, within the towering inferno
the world we hated will bow down to us
see it for yourself, when you awaken from this deep sleep
in the morning this will all be yours for the taking.

when all is said and done,
it was created by animals, a future evnsioned by the spirits of the dead.
let’s do away with this pathetic farce.

don’t be fooled by such “doctrine”, spit on that crucified fraud

held in these arms of mine, within the towering inferno
the world we hated will bow down to us
see it for yourself, when you awaken from this deep sleep
in the morning this will all be yours for the taking.

trample upon such “aesthetics”, spit on that crucified fraud.

held in these arms of mine, within the towering inferno
there’s no value in looking back at the world we hated
see it for yourself, when you awaken from this deep sleep
in the morning this will all be yours for the taking.

☆Sing Me To Sleep☆

Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
I'm tired and I
I want to go to bed

Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
And then leave me alone
Don't try to wake me in the morning
'Cause I will be gone
Don't feel bad for me
I want you to know
Deep in the cell of my heart
I will feel so glad to go

Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
I don't want to wake up
On my own anymore

Sing to me
Sing to me
I don't want to wake up
On my own anymore

Don't feel bad for me
I want you to know
Deep in the cell of my heart
I really want to go

There is another world
There is a better world
Well, there must be
Well, there must be
Well, there must be
Well, there must be
Well

Bye bye
Bye bye
Bye
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