Chat to me and find out for yourself
MsVanity: All's not lost my Friends. It won't be long till people realize Selfie Sticks also make wonderful lightning rods......
MsVanity: I've been reading so much about the bad effects of smoking, drinking, over-eating and sex, that I have finally decided to give up reading.
MsVanity: You know nothing, Jon Snow...
Which is just how I like him, hot as hell and thick as two planks...
MsVanity: People ask me why I don't have any tattoos...
I say to them, "Would you put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari?"
MsVanity: I've had some questions about the wildlife in Australia and its dangers. Here in Australia we take our wildlife very seriously and give it the space and respect it demands. But if you do come here, nothing, absolutely nothing can save you from a Drop Bear. Vicious little *&^ers.
MsVanity: A man and his wife were sitting in the living room and he said to her, “Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.” His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all of his beer.
MsVanity: MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.:
Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male: Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.
DJ Micky Trick: Boo! Sooo, if you're not doing anything on Saturday 22nd Feb, I'm playing a set at Roxy Hotel if you'd like to come past...
MsVanity: Felice giorno in Australia!
Jour heureux de Australie!
счастливый день Австралия!
ευτυχισμένη ημέρα της Αυστραλίας!
Аустралија срећан дан!
Glad Australien dag!
Hạnh phúc Úc ngày!
Australia feliz día!
Glücklich Australien Tag!
खुश ऑस्ट्रेलिया दिन!
Ra Australia hari!
Australia szczęśliwy dzień!
Happy Australia Day to all my Australian friends and to those that understand at least one of those translations up there !!!
Aussie Aussie Aussie!!!
MsVanity: A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him, and says, "Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The man says back to the blind man, "Look buddy, I'm blonde. The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler and he is blonde. The bouncer is blonde. The man sitting over to your left is also blonde. Still wanna tell that blonde joke?"
The blind man is silent for a moment and then says, "Nah, I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times."
MsVanity: THE DIFFERENCE IF YOU MARRY AN AUSTRALIAN GIRL Three mates married women from different parts of the world..... The first man married a Greek girl. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away. The second man married a Thai. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table. The third man married a girl from Australia . He told her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything either but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he pees.