Maladroit Offline

I make no sense, even to myself. Many things about me are contradictory. It's almost as if I am two people, trapped in the same body, fighting for control. I crave a connection with people, but I end up disliking most of them and don't like the anxiety I feel waiting on them to turn on me. I'm still married for now, but it looks like I may finally have a chance for divorce. I have two children but only my youngest lives with me. She is 2. The other I rarely see because he lives 3 hours away with his aunt. Essentially, this is my warning to the people who may want to get close to me. I am a total mess who cannot even handle working or looking for work without having a panic attack. I live with my parents and I'm trying to get on disability. My likes are reading, watching Supernatural and other shows with a sense of humor, and playing with my kid when my body isn't hurting me too badly. Mostly you will find me lurking in chat rooms if I am on here. That gives me a sense of being around people without having to worry about them causing trouble for me.