lululowlow: My husband and I don't have sex anymore.
Why?
He has never been able to keep being nice to me after sex. He is nice before but then once we have sex there is like 5 to 15 minutes of time where he is still nice. Then he starts joking, being hateful, etc. If I make it a point to ask him to please be nice after and it's close to the end of the day, he might be able to make it until the next day. However, by the time I see him after work the next day or speak to him on the phone, he's back to being my "bro" and treating me like a guy.
I talked to him about it and how much it bothers me. Every time we go to have sex I know that any love he shows me is temporary and reserved only to get sex. I know as soon as it's over and I'm still loving him, he will stop and begin being my friend or down right mean. I told him it causes me a lot of anxiety about actually letting myself connect with him during sex. I even offered to just have sex but it not be a connection type of thing. That way I don't get hurt and he doesn't have to be nice to me after bc he gets mad at me for wanting that. He doesn't want that either.
So basically now we just don't have sex because he says he doesn't have time or energy to keep being a romantic partner after sex.
I'm not even saying he has to spend a lot of time with me. I just wish when I did see him, he would talk to me nicely.
I think I need to leave. I don't think you should be married to someone who can't manage to just be nice to you between sexual encounters.
Can any guys relate? If so, please explain this to me
Why?
He has never been able to keep being nice to me after sex. He is nice before but then once we have sex there is like 5 to 15 minutes of time where he is still nice. Then he starts joking, being hateful, etc. If I make it a point to ask him to please be nice after and it's close to the end of the day, he might be able to make it until the next day. However, by the time I see him after work the next day or speak to him on the phone, he's back to being my "bro" and treating me like a guy.
I talked to him about it and how much it bothers me. Every time we go to have sex I know that any love he shows me is temporary and reserved only to get sex. I know as soon as it's over and I'm still loving him, he will stop and begin being my friend or down right mean. I told him it causes me a lot of anxiety about actually letting myself connect with him during sex. I even offered to just have sex but it not be a connection type of thing. That way I don't get hurt and he doesn't have to be nice to me after bc he gets mad at me for wanting that. He doesn't want that either.
So basically now we just don't have sex because he says he doesn't have time or energy to keep being a romantic partner after sex.
I'm not even saying he has to spend a lot of time with me. I just wish when I did see him, he would talk to me nicely.
I think I need to leave. I don't think you should be married to someone who can't manage to just be nice to you between sexual encounters.
Can any guys relate? If so, please explain this to me