being me
god i havent done one of these since my myspace days way back. there is so much going on in my life and i cant seem to figure any of it out. im torn between where my ife is now and where is supposed to be already! it makes me so angry in tha i feel like such a fuckup and complete failure. All ive done is depend on others for everything over the past 8 years and ive had to follow like a lost lamb. im the most giving, loyal, and loving woman i know and all i get is thrown away and forgotten. all i ever wanted was to find true love... the love that consumes you body and soul! i feel that all i ave left is to get stuck in a psuedo relationship that will make everyone else happy but me; my kid, my family, yet here i am pining away for what i thought was my true love who played me like a game of quarters and went away. prison that is!!! i give up... either its the baby daddy whom im not in love with, or the ex which can never possibly make me happy!!!
