ksyster Offline66 • Female •
ksyster: Have a wonderful Wednesday and stay warm!! After getting pranked by his friends and getting hit with a basket, Aron knew they had a wickerd sense of humour.
ksyster: Have a marvelous Monday!! Ty to the veterans reading this!!! As seen on a gas station that sells propane sign: Thank heaven for little grills..
ksyster: Have a wonderful Wednesday!A pastor was opening the service with "lets pray for the men and women who have died this year in the service:
A horrified little boy spoke up with "was it the 11 or 9 O'clock service?
ksyster: Have a terrific Tuesday!! Holiday tip: Keep your eye off the turkey dressing. It makes him blush!
ksyster: Popeye had just finished plucking a goose when a gust of wind scattered all of the feathers. He said, 'Well, blow me down.'
ksyster: Have a fabulous Friday!! Why did the ranger stop and ticket the ghost who was sneaking out of the subdivision with the fresh venison? He didn't have a haunting license.
ksyster: Have a terrific Tuesday!! On the wall of a haunted maze:The ghost never took sides during arguments. He was super neutral.
ksyster: Have a serene Sunday!!! As read in a book review: The almanac of famous ghosts is a real Boos Who.
ksyster: Have a super Saturday and wtg Astros! What do you call the cheesy dance the ghouls did at the party? The Muenster mash...
ksyster: Have a terrific Tuesday!! The ghost never took sides during arguments. He was super neutral.
ksyster: Have a marvelous Monday!! Have a marvelous Monday!! As heard on the Blair Garner show: What keeps ghouls happy ?
A: The knowledge that every shroud has a silver lining!
ksyster: Have a serene Sunday! Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater joined the Army. He wanted to fight for gourd and country.
ksyster: Have a terrific Tuesday!! The reason the skeleton loves to play tic tac toe is because they are XO skeletons...If you're eating breakfast..Bone apetit!!
ksyster: Have a serene Sunday: as heard at a pumpkin Path: "Bill said that in the corn maze he felt like he was being stalked..It was earie.
ksyster: Have a super Saturday! A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the prairies without water.
His horse had already died of thirst. He's crawling along the dusty ground, certain that he has breathed his last breath, when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the ground several yards ahead of him.
He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the ground and discovers what looks to be an old briefcase.
He opens it and out pops a genie.
But this is no ordinary genie.
She is wearing an IRS ID badge and a dull grey dress.
There's a calculator in her pocketbook. She has a pencil tucked behind one ear. 'Well, cowboy,' says the genie,
'You know how I work....You have three wishes.'
'I'm not falling for this,' said the cowboy,
'I'm not going to trust an IRS genie.'
'What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it looks like you're a goner anyway!'
The cowboy thinks about this for a minute and decides that the genie is right.
'OK! I wish I were along-side a lush spring with plenty of food and drink.'
The cowboy finds himself beside the most beautiful spring he has ever seen, and he's surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.
'OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish.'
'My second wish is that I was rich ....
beyond my wildest dreams.'
The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.
'OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish.
Better make it a good one!'
After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says,
'I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me.'
He was turned into a tampon.
Moral of the story:
If the government offers to help you,
there's going to be a string attached.
ksyster: Have a wonderful weekend ..wtg Braves! don't invite Death to a pillow fight Unless you are prepared to handle the reaper cushions
ksyster: Have a fabulous Friday!! watch out for the Koalas LOL after a Koala comment in Wordy checked them out
They're cute. They're cuddly. But beware: they're killers.
Young koala in a tree.
It may seem hard to believe, but the world's most cuddly animal has a dark side. Most of the time, these tree-huggers keep to themselves, adhering to a strict schedule of snacking and snoozing (up to 22 hours a day). But sometimes, a koala snaps. Koala-on-koala violence is generally pretty mild, but they have been known to go after dogs and even humans.
ksyster: Have a wonderful Wednesday! As seen on a wall: The person who invented autocorrect should burn in Hello
ksyster: Have a terrific Tuesday As heard at the dairy fair like skim milk, but buttermilk is whey better.
ksyster: Have a super Saturday! Q. Which country’s capital has the fastest-growing population?
A. Ireland. Every day it’s Dublin.