Dear Heart, (Follow up)

Hey you, yeah, you... I found someone. She's amazing. Her name is Lynai. I love her. I trust her with you too. I don't think she's gonna break you, at least I hope she doesn't. She's not like a guy, she's really sweet and she makes me laugh.

God, why didn't I see this before. She's been here the whole time.

She's perfect for us.

So, Heart, get out of those sweats, and put the ice cream away, go do your hair and try to look pretty for her, I want you to make a good impression.

Good Luck!

Dear Heart,

I'm so very sorry for all the pain I have put you through. I admit, the last few guys had potential, but I guess I was wrong. I know, I know... you're tired of being hurt, I get that, I really do... but I don't know what's wrong. Maybe I should change something... What's that? Become a lesbian? Haha, you're so silly. I don't know, that sounds like an awfully good idea, but I need a man.

A real man.

A man who is gonna protect me from the nightmares, a man who is gonna fight for me when he feels threatened, a man who isn't to preoccupied to deal with my clinginess, jealousy, sarcasm, and everything else that goes along with me.

Heart, as Marilyn Monroe once said:
"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

I need to start fresh, look where I haven't been looking.

Yeah, I know, I've been giving you away very easily, I'm sorry. I know you're precious and you deserve to be given to someone who isn't gonna nom on it the first chance they get.

So with that, do you forgive me, Heart? For all the unneeded breaking and stomping? I'm so sorry.

I know, with stupid excuses and the fake apologies you're a little skeptical to forgive me, I know, I'm really sorry this time, and I'm going to make sure you don't get hurt again, I promise! I pinky promise!

Well with that, I'll put some disinfectant on you and a couple of band aids, maybe and ace bandage... I'll try and keep you as safe as possible...

Sometimes I Think....

Jon Stweart, and Stephen Colbert, should produce someone called Jon Colbert, I would be in heaven.

Sean Farris and James Franco... should be combined into one, sexy, James Farris.... ZOMG. I'm getting moist thinking about it.

If I was into chicks, which I kinda am when I'm drunk... Selena Gomez and Haley Williams from Paramore.... *shivers*.

My boyfriend, combined with Jon Colbert and James Faris.... *gasms everywhere*


I had a dream last night that that happened. I had to just write it down.

I also had a dream last night that I was being chased around a dark house, by my boyfriend, who was carrying a gun? Does that mean something?

Well this just had to be said...

I am a jealous bwy&^. I know I am, and I have come to terms with that.

Confessional (part 11) (I'm Scared... (Don't Judge Me))

I confess... How the fw*$ did I get myself into this mess?

I confess... I don't trust anyone.

I confess... I kinda miss him... :/

I confess... I shouldn't miss him, I really shouldn't but he's all I've ever known, he's always been there for me even if he wasn't the most positive influence in my life. I mean, he made me who I am today, right? But what if the person I am right now, isn't a good person? What if I'm not the happy go lucky girl I act like... What if I'm scared shitless, down right terrified that I can't live my life without him? I know that I can but he's the only one that I've ever had...

I confess... I've never, ever said that before.

I confess... I want to start over but I have no idea where to begin.

I confess... This new guy, he is definitely making me feel a little more confident each and everyday I talk to him. I'm still a little scared, and I don't wanna f%y$ things up.

I confess... the future scares the living daylights outta me. What the f^x@ am I gonna do when I get out of school? Where am I going to go? What the f@w#? I didn't sign up for this.

I confess... I need to quit smoking.

I confess... I need to loosen up a bit.

I confess... ...

I confess... I'm so not comfortable talking about this stuff with anyone, so I'll just put it here for no one to read.

I confess... I cried last night, for what reason, I have no idea.

I confess... I'm so jealous of her. That lucky b&z~#. She better be loving every minute of it.

I confess... Whew, I'm glad I got this off my chest.

My Top Ten Guilty Pleasures (not for the faint of heart)

1.) S%~ In Public.
2.) Cigarettes in Bed.
3.) Sleeping Naked.
4.) Staying up all night for no apparent reason, and then sleeping all day.
5.) A big, ready to be toked, pre-packed for muah, bong.
6.) Reality T.V....
7.) Cartoons and children shows. (Hannah Montana, Chowder, Suite Life, Spongebob, Fairly Odd Parents).
8.) Getting away with a lie...
9.) Family Guy... (Cory, if you read this, you never speak a word of it.)
10.) Skipping classes, falling asleep, going to class hi9h.

Well, that makes me sound like a horrible person.

My Rant

Osh-kosh-bigosh.

I hate stupid people. They suck. Fu6k them. Seriously.

That's all.

Confessional (part 9)

I confess... it's been a while since I've done one of these.

I confess... I'm pretty busy now a days. I don't know why though.

I confess... b*w@^$~ can suck it. I'm tired of drama, of stupid shit, of being the one who get's hurt. Fzwx it.

I confess... I've been very, very sleepy.

I confess... he's always on my mind. No matter what I'm doing.

I confess... I'd do just about anything for that boy. That's why I love him.

I confess... I wanna just go lay in bed and text him till my phone dies... because I can.

I confess... that won't happen because he's busy.

I confess... I need a hobby. Or something. Other then this.

I confess... I'm sooooooo over this school bullshit.

I confess... I still can't stop thinking about Chris... no matter how much he's hurt me..

Confessional (part 8)

I confess... I'm scared of the spot on my lung.

I confess... I'd rather live my life not knowing if it is cancerous or not...

I confess... I'm really scared of finding out...

I confess... I hate hospitals.

I confess... they make me want to throw up.

I confess... I'm really scared of leaving the ones that love me...

I confess... I'm sad I might not ever be able to see him.

I confess... I'm probably over reacting.

I confess... comments on this would really cheer me up.

I confess... my dad has been here for a total of two hours for the three days I've been here.

I confess... what does that mean?

Confessional (part 7)

I confess... I talked to him all night last night...

I confess... I don't regret it, even though I only got one hour of sleep.

I confess... "Hi... my name is Kristina... I'm a jealous person."

I confess... The other guy, knows it and is using it against me...

I confess... I asked how his night was, just so I know what he did... even thought I didn't want the details that entailed.

I confess... He had a threesome last night... and told me... Every. Little. Detail.

I confess... I felt like crying.

I confess... I won't let him make me cry.

I confess... the girls are coming over tonight!

I confess... these girls are the best friends I've ever had, without them, I don't know what I would do.

I confess... I should probably clean my room before they get here.

I confess... I'm to lazy to do that.

I confess... I'm really confused on what I want in a guy. I like douche bags, who act like they don't care, full of themselves but still want me... but I probably need a guy who really likes me and is devoted to only me... but I find guys like that repulsing.

I confess... I'm tired... so I might go take a nap.