If you can relate being a furry and like to cuddle...

This is a passage that a friend sent me today. It was a book that I read called Look Me In The Eye's: My Life with Asperger's. I read it several years ago because my son has Asperger's. I re read it and it reminded me of several on here that relate to being an animal. It is also reminded me of those of us who need that "paw" on us. I thought I would share it. It is a great book to read btw.. The author was the one who invented the guitar pyrotechnics for Ace from KISS. ENJOY

When Martha first met me, I was anxious and jumpy. I was always tapping my foot, rocking, or exhibiting some other behavioural aberration. Of course, now we know that's just normal Aspergian behaviour, but back then other people thought it was weird, so of course I did, too.

One day, for some reason, she decided to try petting my arm, and I immediately stopped rocking and fidgeting. The result was so dramatic, she never stopped. It didn't take lone for me to realize the calming effect, too. I like being petted and scratched.

"Can you pet me?" I say when I sit next to her.

I also say, while tilting my head, "Scratch my fur." I have observed dogs tilting their heads like this, and it often works for them. She will scratch my head or rub my ears. Sometimes she rubs my forehead or my shoulders. And she scratches my back.

"Scratch lightly, with claw tips," I say. Light scratching with somewhat sharp nails is best. For a while, I worried that the fur scratching would cause all my hair to fall out, and that the ear rubbing would give me floppy ears, like a beagle. But that didn't happen. I just got calmer. I believe it calms her, too. Psychologists have done studies of people petting animals. They've proven it has a calming effect on people, lowering their heart rate and blood pressure. I wonder why they haven't done studies of people petting people. Normal people haven't caught on to the benefits.

And the final thing is, we sleep in piles.

When I was little, I used to like hiding in small spaces. I don't do that much anymore, but I can still become unsettled lying down by myself on a bed. If I lie down by myself, I will pile pillows on top of me, but the best situation by far is to have my mate lie down, too, and pile herself up against me.

Every night, when we go to bed, she puts an arm or a leg on me, or lies up against me until I fall asleep.

If she doesn't, I complain.
"Come on," I say. "Put a paw on your mate!"
"Can you pet me?"
"Can you scratch my fur?"
I am always calmer and more relaxed in a pile, being petted.

Nowadays, for the first time, I fall asleep quickly and I seldom have bad dreams. If I wake up, she puts a paw on me and I go back to sleep. I put a paw on her, too. Sometimes I wake in the night, and find we have rolled apart. We'll be sleeping on our sides, facing in opposite directions. I'll slide over until our backs are touching, and I'll slide my bent legs back toward her. She'll awaken enough to reach her own for over, and our feet will touch. I fall back asleep, content and warm.

I feel safe sleeping in a pile. I'm not sure why that would be, since I am the bigger and stronger one, but it's true. Ever since I was a child, I knew that lying under a pile of pillows was a lot better than just lying on top of the bed. Sleeping in a pile is a lot better than that, though. It's the best of all.

How to tell if you might be in a cult.

Dr. Robert J. Lifton's Eight Criteria for Thought Reform

1. Milieu Control. This involves the control of information and communication both within the environment and, ultimately, within the individual, resulting in a significant degree of isolation from society at large.

2. Mystical Manipulation. There is manipulation of experiences that appear spontaneous but in fact were planned and orchestrated by the group or its leaders in order to demonstrate divine authority or spiritual advancement or some special gift or talent that will then allow the leader to reinterpret events, scripture, and experiences as he or she wishes.

3. Demand for Purity. The world is viewed as black and white and the members are constantly exhorted to conform to the ideology of the group and strive for perfection. The induction of guilt and/or shame is a powerful control device used here.

4. Confession. Sins, as defined by the group, are to be confessed either to a personal monitor or publicly to the group. There is no confidentiality; members' "sins," "attitudes," and "faults" are discussed and exploited by the leaders.

5. Sacred Science. The group's doctrine or ideology is considered to be the ultimate Truth, beyond all questioning or dispute. Truth is not to be found outside the group. The leader, as the spokesperson for God or for all humanity, is likewise above criticism.

6. Loading the Language. The group interprets or uses words and phrases in new ways so that often the outside world does not understand. This jargon consists of thought-terminating cliches, which serve to alter members' thought processes to conform to the group's way of thinking.

7. Doctrine over person. Member's personal experiences are subordinated to the sacred science and any contrary experiences must be denied or reinterpreted to fit the ideology of the group.

8. Dispensing of existence. The group has the prerogative to decide who has the right to exist and who does not. This is usually not literal but means that those in the outside world are not saved, unenlightened, unconscious and they must be converted to the group's ideology. If they do not join the group or are critical of the group, then they must be rejected by the members. Thus, the outside world loses all credibility. In conjunction, should any member leave the group, he or she must be rejected also. (Lifton, 1989)