Further to my daughter.

It has been over 5 years since my ex wife passed away and things between my daughter, her children and I have gotten to a point where I don't exist to them any more. It has gotten to the point where I have been blamed for my wife's death, my daughter's drinking problem, and my grandson's drug addiction. I could have tried to explain things to both of them, but it is just a waste of time. My daughter has had a built in hate for me since her early years. For me, it's hard to think after doing everything I could to try to be a loving parent and grandparent, that I am to be thrown out like an old dish rag. So I guess that i have to accept the fact that I have NO family by blood on this planet. I live my days alone and use the computer as my only way to contact people. It just burns my butt that I have to suffer and lose the only family I had. They say you get what you give. Well, I don't remember giving crap to the people i loved with all my heart. Now I understand what they mean when they say nice guys finish last.

Is There Love?

In between the dark and light
and when we are apart.
I count the days, hours, minutes,
until we're heart to heart

The days are sad and lonely,
the nights are cold and bare.
Until we are together again,
I long to find you there.

For as time passes without you,
and life means nothing to me.
Until I hold you in my arms,
To love you unconditionally.

I hesitate to ask,
is our love a two way street.
Or am I the only one,
who really feels the heat.

When I look into your eyes,
I know with all my heart,
That you love me with all you have,
and never will we part.

Don't Turn Around

As I walk along the street,
what should I happen to see.
Someone who looks like you.
Don't turn around

I see the same hair,
I see the same figure,
I see the same clothes.
Don't turn around.

I smell the same perfume,
I see the same walk,
I hear the same voice.
Don't turn around.

If she were to turn around
and look me in the eye.
Then it would prove it wasn't you,
So don't turn around.

Being left out

For those who know me, I'm not one who complains about things too often. Today is a little different. Before moving out to Thunder Bay in March, I spent the last 2 years living with my daughter, her husband, and my 3 grand kids. I've also spent 12 years living with my former wife. Yesterday, being Father's Day, I figured I may have heard from my daughter. Well, it seems that I'm being left out in the cold. Never heard a word from her all day, twice with both of us being on FB at the same time. Normally I won't say anything about it, but after giving 12 years to help with raising the oldest grandson, keeping my former wife out of my daughters hair, I now find that she doesn't want much to do with me anymore. All that I can say is I've tried to build a relationship with my daughter, one that I had no chance in having for her first 17 years. Well I don't know what to think anymore.