hoserman Offline

58 Male from Millville       24
         
HORNY & HUNG (9.5"x 6"cut) Once Again I am Looking 4 love/relationship

I can be a nasty, verbal, kinky TOP when need be. I am mostly a TOP Love to Kiss, whip, flog, wax, fuck, piss play, CBT, TT, etc. ONLY a FF TOP! Drop me a line if anything interest U. I live in Delaware for now, Maybe Moving soon. I am looking 4 a NEW boy/slave & I am willing to move to a warmer area to start a new life with him! I will still Look & sometime play. I am Boss & boy will listen to me ALWAYS! Love to role play & if u are really hot to me, I may roll over & let u have my TIGHT Hole.~Drilling For that Pot/Hole of Gold with my boy/ play bud ! Being the BEST SIR/MASTER I can be!

hoserman
hoserman: happy Thanks Giving all of U I had 213 hour shift at my restaurant I work at in Delaware
3 days ago Report Link
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tracensf
tracensf: Happy Thanksgiving.
3 days ago Report
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hoserman
hoserman: It's 11/17/2022 & yesterday 11/16 was my 58 th. Birthday & not a good day 4 me ! Once again I single & alone & what makes it worse is that NO one!! beside my best friend in the world whom live sin Ca remember it!! NOT even my family ( Brother, sister in-law, Nephew & his wife) whom all lives with me! I felt so alone, so un-loved & so empty. I felt so un-wanted & useless. I thought 4 sure i be with the man of my dreams by now. I given & done so much 4 so many but now I am alone . Now that I stop helping others in my life, put me first no one wants me now. I was good enough when I help others out with money, my time & my love BUT now I have nothing & no one around me
10 days ago Report Link
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bacardi62
bacardi62: Sorry that you are going through that. Happy birthday.
10 days ago Report
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hoserman got the Birthday badge 11 days ago Report
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hoserman
hoserman: Another HOLIDAY season is here. Another year of me being single & alone to deal with the holidays with NO one special in my life. I thought 4 sure i would be in love & with the man of my dream RIGHT now in his arms & loving him like NO MAN has ever loved him. Another year of me being disappointed in life. I been thru so much pain & hurt in my life. So many disappointments in my life. So many heath issues  to end up alone & single now is where I an now  No one 2 love & to be loved by
18 days ago Report Link
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hoserman
hoserman: I not trying 2 have a " BITCH section " about my self, but I been going thru DEEP & ROUGH time in my life. Some of U know I had KIDNEY CANCER on both of my Kidneys ( 1 1/2 " mass on left & a 1 1/3" & a 3/4 " mass on my Right Kidney) As of today I am still CANCER free but My life is still a mess. I had & still do have deep loving & caring feeling 4 a man I have known for last 15 yrs whom been in & out of my life the whole 15 yrs BUT now he will not speak to me. which hurts me so deeply. He was the strength & my rock in my life. WE had so much in command in life. WE both went thru a lot of bull SHIT in our life from family, health issues & personal issues like Trusting others, heart brake from guys we loved & hurt by , etc.. BUT now he believe I was back stabbing him & was putting his private business out there in chat rooms & he believe some guy/ guys in chat rooms over me. I trusted him & loved him deeply & wanted 2 be his protector in life, we both love & enjoy the dark, kinky, twisted, S/M leather life style which made us even closer in a bond with each other & now that bond is GONE!!

Yes I have other good friend in my life BUT what I had with this guy was so different & special. A bond which I always wanted & need in life. This guy brought me so much JOY, LOVE, PEACE in my life. When we chatted I felt so loved, wanted, special & young again. I felt sexy & horny BUT all that is now gone & I just feel so empty, lost, lonely, un-loved & un-wanted in life I trying like hell 2 move on in life BUT he keeps coming to my mind & I just fall back down this DARK HOLE to a VERY dark place in life
I think it's time 4 me to look for doctor's help to fix my self WHICH I did in past & I hated doing it but I so needed it 2 heal my self I done so much for so many people in my life that I have nothing left for myself now & I just so worn out & nothing left for me 2 be whole again
24 days ago Report Link
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tracensf
tracensf: I hope you do seek help! I know you hate seeking such help, but, at least try!
21 days ago Report
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hoserman
hoserman changed his profile picture: 27 days ago Report
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hoserman
hoserman: I hate hate being & living alone in life I went thru having 3 CANCER masses & now I single again & alone & un-loved. I just want a guy I can trust & love again in my life. I have HUGE trust issues & it makes it so hard 2 love a person
1 month ago Report Link
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tracensf
tracensf: What are YOU doing to make changes in your life to help reach that point of Life?
29 days ago Report
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hoserman
hoserman: I trying 2 accept that I never feel & have true love & a real relationship in my life. I not the type to be alone in life
29 days ago Report
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tracensf
tracensf: I completely understand that.
29 days ago Report
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hoserman
hoserman to AEM Pasadena: I was a care taker to my late mom for 12 yrs It not easy hang in there I here if U need 2 chat
1 month ago Report Link
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AEM Pasadena
AEM Pasadena: Thanks, thats nice of you to offer, so sorry for your loss.
1 month ago Report
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hoserman
hoserman: I am a strong person but not sure I am strong enough 2 handle the lost of love & happiness
1 month ago Report Link
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hoserman
hoserman: I wish I know how to fill the hole in my life & heart from a person whom walked out of my life that I wanted 2 spend rest of my life with
1 month ago Report Link
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hoserman
hoserman: 10/19/22 -- I just got COVID shot # 5 & the annual FLU  shot today! I am 100 % healed from my second & final CANCER removal. As far as I know I am 100% CANCER free, I go back in Mid Feb 2023 to see if I am still CANCER Free & if that clean then I go back once a yr. in Sept each yr
1 month ago Report Link
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hoserman
hoserman to TarzanTX: I just found ur pic on the net & U told me last time we chatted that U DON'T send ur self pics out to any one so now I thinking about all U said to me, please get back 2 me ok man !!
3 months ago Report Link
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AE Laguna Beach
AE Laguna Beach: This pic was posted on a website in 2010, do the math... dude people can do reverse image search and it shows the exact date the first time it was posted, you are fooling nobody. So you are 18 and the pic was posted in 2010 LMAO...
1 month ago Report
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hoserman
hoserman changed his profile picture: 1 month ago Report
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Garadon
Garadon: Woof. Yes Master
1 month ago Report
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hoserman
hoserman: I still feel like HELL pain meds dull the pain but it still hurts a lot they make me feel so loopy & out of it & I hate not having control
1 month ago Report Link
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Garadon 1 month ago Report
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hoserman
hoserman: Wednesday evening Sept 28 I am now home from my Cancer Removal I am home but some bad news  about me, well bad yes but also LUCKY & GOOD NEWS!! Remember I told U I had 2 get a scan done like a month ago well on the scan the DOCTOR saw a second mass but was not sure if it was cancer or not & DID not tell me cause he did not want me 2 worrie any more then I was. well he took both mass out the 1 1/3" CANCER mass for sure & the 3/4 " mass they tested second small mass & it too was cancer it was like 1/8" of the vein that feed the urrealfia  from the bladder. IF it was connect to that vein I could have lost all bladder function & have a pee bag rest of my life. I am so dam LUCKY No treatment, no kermo, no readtion  I tell U a angle was watch over me sad part is it was 13 months to the hour he did second removal that I found out I had cancer & I thought that woudl be lucky but it was & was not so I had 1 on left kidney & 2 on the right kidney I feel like shit!! so sore & discomfort my inside feel like they were removal & put back in on pain meds but it still hurts  he had 2 do 6 cuts 2 do all the work & he said it was not easy  to get 2 the second one I cried so bad & crying n ow
2 months ago Report Link
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hoserman
hoserman: Ok tomorrow Sept 27 at 11 AM  is the day I get my SECOND CANCER MASS removed from my right KIDNEY & the day I re-start my life again I am both sad & glad. Glad  the nightmare  is finally over & i can re-live my life again after 14 months of pure hell & worries & Sad that the one person in my life is not here with me. The one person I loved, & wanted 2 be at my side is not here & will not even speak 2 me If it was not for this dam cancer i had I would be with him now at his side & living a happy life Cause of this dam cancer i am more sad & lonely then I was 14 months ago
2 months ago Report Link
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Garadon
Garadon: Prayers for strength are sent to you.
2 months ago Report
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hoserman
hoserman: I just got back from having my NEW COVID test done 4 my SECOND CANCER REMOVAL I am days away from being CANCER FREE I HOPE & starting a new life again The end of suffering for the last 14 mo almost over
2 months ago Report Link
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Garadon
Garadon: Great Outlook. Way to go bud
2 months ago Report
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hoserman
hoserman: Life not easy, we all mess up & make mistakes in life as long as we learn from them & try hard 2 do better, we all fall from grace but we have 2 work harder 2 get back 2 where we were before we fall & do a better job is what really matters It takes a lot 4 a person 2 admit they mess up & ask forgiveness & it's only right 2 give the forgiveness when a person is TRULY sorry for what they did wrong we need to do that to others & help each other out when we fall & need help to be better NO ONE is perfect U know we all mess up as long as we learn from our mess up & do better it be a better world 2 live in
2 months ago Report Link
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hoserman
hoserman: I change my PROFILE pics cause I just don't feel I am a S/M leather DOM right now , maybe once I get my self together again I re-post the pics I hope U all understand my choice 4 doing so so many have ask me why I changed it
2 months ago Report Link
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Garadon
Garadon: They are beautiful
2 months ago Report
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hoserman
hoserman: A VERY good friend of mine that I hold dearly to me just sent me these & made me think how GOOD my life is, how lucky I am & how blessed I am & what I over come in life to be the STRONGER   person I am now!!
2 months ago Report Link
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Garadon
Garadon: Then you need to move on and forgive yourself
2 months ago Report
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hoserman
hoserman: I will one day BUT i did wrong , I miss treat others & it happen cause i was in VERY DEEP pain, hurt & heart ack!! Deal with my CANCER & family drama & stress in my life for the last 13 month been PURE HELL 4 me which made do things I wish I never did or say
2 months ago Report
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Garadon
Garadon in reply to hoserman: I get you💗👍
2 months ago Report
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hoserman
hoserman: Here more
2 months ago Report Link
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hoserman
hoserman: U know me having cancer did me good & bad! I look at life so different now. I have a lot of RAGE, ANGER & hate now in side of me. I ask lf after all the good things I did in life, all the help I gave 2 so many why did I end up with CANCER. Then I explode on the ones around me that I love & care about the most. I hurt way 2 many GOOD friends in my life & I think I just lost another cause of this DAM CANCER & the pain it brought into my life. I just want this dam stuff/ cancer out 0f me so I can heal & maybe make peace with the ones I hurt while I suffer thru this time ( 14 months ) of deal with knowing I have CANCER I can not EVER forgive my self if the ones I love & hurt while I was dealing with CANCER can NOT forgive me & let me make up for all the pain I given them cause i was HURTING so bad of know I have cancer
2 months ago Report Link
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Garadon
Garadon in reply to hoserman: You might find people that are going to the same thing you are and you're not alone
2 months ago Report
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(Post deleted by tracensf 2 months ago)
tracensf
tracensf: Ken, with that mindset toward a support group, you are setting yourself up to fail before even trying.
2 months ago Report
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hoserman
hoserman changed his profile picture: 2 months ago Report
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hoserman
hoserman: I not sure how much longer i going 2 keep my account here
2 months ago Report Link
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Garadon
Garadon: I hope you don't leave. But I honor whatever wish you come up with I will miss you my friend and I hope you can still be in touch
2 months ago Report
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hoserman
hoserman: What a fool I was to think  at my age I could restart my life & get back into the whole LEATHER  S/M BONDAGE life style again  What a fool I was to help & put others before me & my needs & wants  What a fool I was to believe that some one would love  me again. What a fool I was to think at the age of 58 I could find that love i need 2 heal all my pain, hurt & scars of my past relationship. What a fool I was to think that there are HONEST, TRUSTWORTHY , loving guys out there 2 look for. What a fool I was to let down my walls I had built up 2 protect my self from the pain, hurt. & heart break I felt in the past. What a fool I was to think I could start a new life in a new area with a man whom I loved so deeply, respected & just wanted  2 hold & love forever. What a fool I was to expect the same back from him. I have not dated or  been in any kind of a relationship for the past 13 yrs cause I was my late mom care taker BUT i see nothing has changed.  I get hurt every time I start 2 love another person like always I get hurt & end up heart broken & in deep pain THERE NOTHING BUT FAKES OUT THERE NO ONE CAN BE HONEST& be TRUSTED  !!!!
2 months ago Report Link
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Garadon
Garadon: Best of luck to you always
2 months ago Report
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bacardi62
bacardi62: Amen my friend.
2 months ago Report
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hoserman
hoserman: I so hurt right now I not sure what 2 think any more
2 months ago Report
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