Geoff: I'm just going to link to Jack Black's version of this song. Because Jack Black is fucking amazing.
DM: "You're playing out of alignment."
Me: "You're playing on the wrong day of the week."
DM: "So you're only Neutral Evil on Saturdays?"
Me: "Yes. On Fridays I am Chaotic Neutral."
Geoff: DM: "Geoff are you paying attention?"
Me: "Mostly. We're talking about things that come out at night. Right?"
DM: "Do I need to repeat what the NPC said?"
Me: "Yeah, the team bitch is saying it's game over. The team mom is saying it'll be alright. And I'm saying that they mostly come out at night, and we need to find somewhere defensible that we can hole out."
DM: "Are you going to Meta-Game all the way through?"
Me: "I did pick the 'Genre-savvy trait' right back in session zero."
DM: "God damn you."
Me: "You mean 'Gods' damn you."
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Barbarian: "Oh, you think you could intimidate this prisoner better than I could?"
Me: "I'm a half-fallen-angel sorcerer with lighting crackling out of my fucking eyes, speaking in a Scottish accent. I am essentially Malcolm Tucker rein-fuicking-carnated as Doctor Who. Do you want me to demonstrate how good I am at intimidation by grabbing your bollocks and casting Shocking Grasp?"
Barbarian: "No. I'm good. You go ahead."
Me: **this time not in character** "I also have a much higher charisma bonus and am proficient in intimidation. And I can role play that scene so well the DM will fall over themself to give me advantage."
Barbarian: "Yeah. I got that."
DM: "Are you joining the session tonight?"
Me: "Um. no. Because it's... Friday?"
DM: "No, it's Saturday."
Me: "No. It's really Friday."
DM: "All the rest of the group are here."
Me: "Well, give me two seconds to go pee and I'll be right there. But it's still Friday."
DM: "Are you saying six other people don't know what day of the week it is?"
Me: "Knowing those six people? Yes. Yes I am."
Ranger: "Did you sleep in?"
Me: "I lean over, stick a finger up each of [the ranger's] nostrils and allow a quick jolt of electrical energy to jump between them.
Ranger: "Ow! Gods!"
Me: "I also cast charm person."
DM: **nodding towards Ranger** "Roll"
**They failed. Miserably**
Me: "I lean in close, grab him by his bolo, and whisper, `It's Friday.`"
Geoff: Nah. It really is that everyone else in my party (including the DM) is either a teacher or is married to a teacher. And today is effectively the last of term where they work. They are supposed to show up next week, but it's gravy from here on.
So they've all been drinking since lunchtime.
Geoff: Is there anything graphics processors designed for gaming can't do?
Are NASA suddenly going to announce that they found the secret to warp drive after fucking about with a few Radeon RX 5600 XTs?
Geoff: Emily Maitlis matching Dawn Butler yesterday in demonstrating what a badass looks like, by ripping the government (and her bosses at the BBC) a new one.
Geoff: Since some of the stuff I ordered for my new home office is delayed (curtains, desk, chair, rug) due to staffing shortages because of the pingdemic, I've decided I might as well repaint it before I move in there.
So, that's my task for the weekend.
I'm also considering going around the charity shops and looking for any cheap art to hang on the walls in there. And maybe a clock.
My interior design skills are absolutely abysmal, but it might be nice to at least try to create a pleasant working environment for myself.
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Geoff: Nearly three years after Justice Brett M. Kavanaugh’s tumultuous confirmation to the Supreme Court, the F.B.I. has disclosed more details about its efforts to review the justice’s background, leading a group of Senate Democrats to question the thoroughness of the vetting and conclude that it was shaped largely by the Trump White House.
In a letter dated June 30 to two Democratic senators, Sheldon Whitehouse of Rhode Island and Chris Coons of Delaware, an F.B.I. assistant director, Jill C. Tyson, said that the most “relevant” of the 4,500 tips the agency received during an investigation into Mr. Kavanaugh’s past were referred to White House lawyers in the Trump administration, whose handling of them remains unclear.
The Trump White House carefully controlled the investigations into Mr. Kavanaugh’s past. After Dr. Ford came forward, Mr. Trump’s staff tried to limit the number of people the F.B.I. interviewed as part of that probe. Only after an outcry from Democrats over the president’s approach did the administration say the agency could conduct a more open investigation.
Ultimately, 10 witnesses were interviewed by the F.B.I., according to the F.B.I.’s recent letter. Dr. Ford and Mr. Kavanaugh themselves were never interviewed by the F.B.I.
4,500 tips and they interviewed 10 witnesses? At what point does a background check that uncovers suggestions of law breaking HAVE to turn into a criminal investigation? Whether the FBI were themselves the agency with jurisdiction to carry out that investigation is irrelevant, such details should have been passed on and congress should have been informed.
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Geoff: Just to top today off, Stephen "Waxy-Lemon" Yaxley-Lennon (also known as Tommy Robinson to the fascist victims of his innumerable grifts) lost a £100,000 court case over his defaming a teenager.
Geoff: A while ago I posted a screenshot from Reddit of people posting misattributed and missourced quotes from fantasy and sci-fi.
One of them was "Never tell me the odds" being attributed to Jean-Luc Picard.
Having just watched season 1 of Picard again (in preparation of season 2's launch), I did spot that he actually says something very similar (although far more Picard-y).
"The odds are the enemy of hope."
Which, let's be honest, should be written above the door to every casino on the planet.