EliRose69: MENopause, MENstruation, MENtal breakdown...Most of women's problems start with MEN, but then there is HERpes. #trololololol
EliRose69: I think that the job of an ex-boyfriend is to make you feel like a horrible person, but this guy takes it to a whole other level......... :/
EliRose69: This just went to a whole new level of "awkward". I was texting this guy, right? Well, I thought we were gonna go on a date. He's got kids. Like, living with him. His own kids. How the fuck do I handle that? Ummm...He's a nice guy, but KIDS!?!?!
EliRose69: My friend broke his wrist and I cracked a joke about he can't masturbate and he came back with "Isn't that your job? " Well done.
( ' .'
( > )>o I was going to give you guys this cookie I made...
('. ' )
o<( < ) But then I decided...
(>o< THIS IS MY COOKIE!!! NOM NOM NOM!!!
EliRose69: Here's a Valentine's card for all you beautiful, sexy, sweet, amazing, and wonderful people whom I love.
EliRose69: The following is an actual conversation between my friend and I....
Jim: How's lyf?
lizzy_luvs_brandon: Did you seriously just spell that "lyf"?
Jim: Ironically of course
lizzy_luvs_brandon: It is a four-letter word, why the Hell would you try to make it shorter? Are you really that lazy?
Jim: I just typed the word ironically twice and you're calling me lazy?
lizzy_luvs_brandon: Yes, because you abbreviated an already short word. That really is quite lazy.
Jim: Well for a third time, it was used ironically wo
Jim: *so stop going on about it
lizzy_luvs_brandon: How was the use of that ironic in any way, shape, or form?
lizzy_luvs_brandon: It was not.
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EliRose69: lizzy_luvs_brandon: What the Hell does that mean? The definition is the same anywhere.
Jim: Americans don't get irony, its a well documented fact
lizzy_luvs_brandon: I understand irony very well, thank you.
lizzy_luvs_brandon: My life is truly quite ironic.
EliRose69: Wow. Men are jerks. I asked this guy what type of fish he had in his picture, so what did he do? He looked at my profile, then completely ignored me. Just like everybody else. Assholes.
EliRose69: I am pissed as fuck right now. I mean, I am PISSED. Really. Fucking. Pissed. Like, I'm about to fucking kill something if it looks at me wrong, I'm so pissed.
EliRose69: Oh, God. I just realized something horrifying. I actually kind of admire Justin Bieber. I still hate everything about him, but he does a pretty good job of staying true to himself even though a lot of people hate and mock him, you know? I kind of give him props. Shoot me.
EliRose69: The most honest pick-up line I have ever heard is this: I'm gonna treat you like my homework, lock you in my truck and forget about you until tomorrow.