to the one i love

i have come from tunnels of darkness and i have crawled from pits of flame and i have walked through gardens of green walked thro halls of light to end up here and here i shall stay
i have sheathed my blade in my foes blood and bled from many a wound but i am here
i have climbed many mountains and swam the seven seas and crossed many a great plain but i am here
i have broken many an bone and cracked my skull and snapped my spine but i have healed and i am here
the desert doesn't faze me i have crossed it before and the tundra doesn't daunt me i have been across that too
my heart doesn't beat with excitement i have had my fair share of it , it doesn't beat with lust for adventure and riches
but where are you for it is you that i have been seeking

river ofblood

she told me it would happen i tried to listen
but i was blinded and hopeful and now the blood does glisten
itsd like a river a long winding apath to my heart
and i feel it was betrayed and torn apart
i sat there trying to rationalize the action and play it down
but know i i see a small bug in a pool of blood drown

i know a girl

yeah i know a girl and this girl know who she is and that i love her and when she hurts i hurt that i am gtonna be strong hfor her when she needs me to be maybe i cant read minds like i used to but thats because she gave the gift of emotion she helped me feel human again she is special to me and i will stand by her side and be with her at beck and call when she needs to cry or vent when she need some one give her a joke when she needs some one to remind her shes loved by her hubby im a close freind and maybe im not always there in the goosd times but i lke to think im there when it6 counts i try to be there and i know she appreciates it so im here girl you know who you are

the river of ca;lm

again i walk in the calm winds of my poetry
i see the words as they whisper to me
they talk of a brighter futer the result of a dark past
in the futer i will make it ill last
i am me i am not always a good freind
but i always try to be there in the end
my words at times are hard to belive
but one true thing i say is ill never leave
i have walked this path over and over again
i will not wallow in self pity or pain
i will stand tall and march on and find the source of the flow
its out ther i dont just think it is i kno
i will find it and drink from that cool water crystal
i will tranform my being and become mystical
i have been here manytime to the flow
its the souce that i want to know

holdiing on and out

this isnt an easy thing to do constantly monitering my thoughts all the time trying to decipher reality from the FASD but i know that i have a few ppl in my corner so im not alone and surprisinly its the ppl i hurt miost that are in my corner and i walk a fin line its tense all the time feel like im gonna break most days my thoughts keep telling me stuff i know isnt tru and i get frustrated and snap some times and yeah gawd knows i perfected this over the pasr 14 years after i knew something was wrong with me i just need to fine a coping method some of my current ones are fails but ill find the right one soon and be abel to express my self so that i can show ppl im honestly trying and i wont give up

sunrise (a semi rap)

i look to the sky as the sun rises and i shed all of my disguises and my heart realizes the world is full of surprises i no longer need to hide is srry for ever lie that i lied i am proud of every night that i cried for those are the moments that made me and revealed a self security that is made of tru stegth and powwr its at this hour that i see the power inside of me i am free friom me my own worst enimie now i can be truly freindly to those i love and hold nothing back i will seize the day and i have found what i did lack.

today it took from me again i hate it but it is stronger then me i cant defeat it i stare it in the face everytime i look in the mirrior and it laughs at me telling me it can do what it 2wants thats it owns a part of me it has taken freinds and family it had been the cause of fights it has made me lie it has made me lash out at those closest. i weant it gone but that will never be it is me and i have to learn to aviod it like a coward it took a close freind that used to make mhy day brigght with a joke and the memories will pain me forever. it kiks me when im down and always i get back up and i know ill gtry one time for the rest of my days cuz i never give up its not my nature but ill try and avange the freindships its taken from me this i vow

the climb

i stand at the bottom of the fall
and now i must stand tall
in front of me is a Long stare way to climb
but i seem to have nothing left but time
my fall has taught me a lot about this world
and i have taken everything the gods have hurled
i am one who has no regrets for choices made
i have lived for far too long now by the edge of the blade
i must find the path that leads to the sanctuary of my mind
i have many many ideas many some unformed and others are clearly defined
i stand ready for the long journey a head
i have defied the gods for i am not dead
i am very much once again alive
and i will now go up and never again dive
i have met several companions on this road
it was them who help me carry the load
and for them i am eternally grateful
no longer am i only hateful
i now see that my enemy's are weaker than me
for my friends have given me the ability to see
so now i must take these steps ahead of me
so are you a friend who will walk with me on my journey?

storms shadow

the world grows dark and hell drum sound a ominous beat
i have come from the dark to find what i have to defeat
my minds is old an witherd like a broke rusted cage
its a beast that has no limits to its rage
there is no shelter im more from and safe haven
i am confused and lost but dont understand what im craving
they said i was a warrior in my life before this one
they say thats why i love the look of a blade and not a gun
this war is coming but first i must cross the dark
the contarst in me are frighteningly stark
my minde hides the scenes it once knew
for it know from where the evil grew
thre is a thirst in me for a great solution
is the eternal fucntion of the minds evalution

the fALL

am on a ledge and i grasp for your hand as i fall the attempt is in vain
the sound of the wind as i fall is beautifully insane
as i fall the memories flash by inside of me and i am blinded i no longer see
it is far too late i have fallen from the ranks of humanity
i could not handle the pain it was far too great
all that is left is vengeance and a consuming hate
i now reside all alone ion the black rain
don't try to rescue me the attempt would be in vain
i may hide behind a fake smile but neither do i cry
when you look into my eyes do see my soul die