dreadlox33 Offline

Nuts and Bolts

      So ...you're like 10 or 12 and you're at your small plumbing business shop and your dad has you sorting nuts and bolts.  He dumps this bucket over on a work bench and there are what to you look like thousands ...or maybe even a couple million and he says, "start sorting kid".  He may be teaching you more than you realize at the time but having fun just doesn't seem to fit your job description st the time.       
One day there's a barrel of copper to take to the junk yard.  Your father says that he'll exchange that barrel of copper for your paycheck that week.   For what...? You're making maybe $10.00-$15.00 that week sorting nuts and bolts?  No way! Not knowing what that barrel of copper is worth you can't take that chance.  He's a bit intimidating ...1/2 the time he scares the hell out of you...and OK, so at 12 years old you don't have a lot of balls.   Turns out the barrel of copper is worth $180.00 bucks +/-   .....young lesson learned.     
 ...but despite that, at that age life seems normal.   You have family get together's and everyone wears a dumb party hat.  Oh, maybe Uncle Reggie always gets a little hammered but that's about it. Everyone laughs ...everyone seems healthy.  Your aunt has depression but at that age everyone just whispers about her and all you think is she's kind of an adult cry baby!     
It's not long after that you get a call at school and your father is crying. By now you're around 15 and you've never seen your father cry.  He tells you that his father, your grandfather, has died that morning.   This guy that you loved and let you sit on his lap while he played poker would now be lowered into the frozen earth.   It just seems ...as you look at it now, that life has changed ...people you know really die and it just isn't "someone else".   Your age of innocence is now over.       
Then as life goes along your other grandparents pass ...you get older and your parents pass.  There's other stuff ...but now as you're just trying to push thru a bad morning it's just far easier to slam doors or yell at the poor cat ...hell, what's he done?.  I mean sometimes we all hurt ...you get that.                 
And there's someone now in your life you really love that advises you to spend more of your thoughts in a good place.   But at some point in your life your thinking gears kinda just got derailed and you're not sitting at your business work bench anymore sorting nuts and bolts ...you're just try to get thru a bad morning.