 Friends         | Spreading smiles and a little happiness is my forte'. If you need a buddy, well here I am. Have Skype, Messenger and also can phone anywhere in the world free on my land line. I write short stories and poetry and will always help out if you need a special poem.Feel free to check out my blogs. I no longer make necklaces, due to neuropathy, from Semi precious Gemstones and beads, but now make Bolo ties. I love my garden and you are welcome to take a walk around my pictures any time and share. I also love to cook and entertain so any recipes you want to share would be greatly appreciated.  CatcherAl: Anna was 79 years old and lived on the third floor of a boarding house. Despite her age, she was still a real pistol packin’ mama. However, one day she fell and broke her leg. An ambulance drove her to the hospital where a doctor put a cast on it. When he was done, he warned her, “Now don’t be walking up or down any stairs, okay?” Anna nodded, and thought that this sounded reasonable. A few weeks later, the doctor took off the cast. “So, can I climb stairs now?” asked the little old lady. “Yes,” he replied. “Thank goodness!” she said. “I’m sick and tired of climbing up and down that drainpipe!”  CatcherAl: A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee, when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery: A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 Feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash. Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file. The man couldn’t stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said: “I am so sorry for your loss and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I’ve never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?” “My wife’s.” ”What happened to her?” “She yelled at me and my dog attacked her.” He inquired further. “But who is in the second hearse?” The man answered. “My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her.” A very poignant and touching moment of brotherhood and silence passed between the two men. “Can I borrow the dog?” The man replied. “Get in line.” CatcherAl: Remains of baking yesterday. Cherry cake demolished as several of my guests took a slice or two home with them. The apple pie had a twist as I added the zest and juice of three mandarin oranges to the mix. The other plate is of iced tarts, basically mince pies without the lid, iced with rum instead of water icing then showered with icing sugar. A snowstorm in every bite.     CatcherAl: Came across this picture and thought sharing it would bring a smile to your faces in the cold dark days of winter. It's called "The Happy Alien" flower from the southernmost tip of South America.  View all 4 posts  sarah_spirit: Ha ha I love these also known as chambermaids ..they are brilliant aren’t they ..they do make me giggle thank you xx CatcherAl: Thought I would share my Christmas present to myself, an antique oil lamp and also my homemade Christmas cake. The lamp is because of my love of what some may say is "old fashioned", from a time when good manners and a gentler way of living was the norm, gentlemen were just that and ladies were ladies. Silly perhaps? But that's me. Happy Christmas and my love to you all.     View all 10 posts  CatcherAl in reply to Chele1L: That was the main reason for me buying it as it has my favorite colors in it. xoxox CatcherAl in reply to Talk Nerdy 2 Me: Thank you, I can't comment on the cake but it has seven days of Kopparbereg Rum dribbled over it before icing so there will be no complaints as people will be flat on their backs after eating a slice CatcherAl: A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbour and says, “Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get started.” Her neighbour asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?” The little silver-haired lady says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a rooster.” Her neighbour decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, “First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster. He takes her hand and says, “Secondly, I want you to relax. Let’s have a nice cup of tea, and then,” he said with a deep sigh ………… (scroll down) “Let’s put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.” CatcherAl: Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit live in the same forest, but they don’t like each other. One day, they come across a golden frog who offers them three wishes each. Mr. Bear wishes that all the other bears in the forest were female. Mr. Rabbit wishes for a crash helmet. Mr. Bear’s second wish is that all the bears in the neighboring forests were female as well. Mr. Rabbit wishes for a motorcycle. Mr. Bear’s final wish is that all the other bears in the world were female, leaving him the only male bear in the world. Mr. Rabbit revs the engine of his motorcycle and says, “I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!” and rides off. CatcherAl: A woman saw an ad in the local newspaper which read: “Purebred Police Dog $25.” Thinking that it to be a great bargain, she called and ordered the dog to be delivered. The next day a van arrived at her home and delivered the mangiest-looking mongrel she had ever seen. In a rage, she telephoned the man who had placed the ad, “How dare you call that mangy-mutt a purebred police dog?” “Don’t let his looks deceive you, ma’am,” the man replied, “He’s in the Secret Service.” CatcherAl: A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother, “There were 2 boy kittens and 2 girl kittens.” “How did you know?” his mother asked. “Daddy picked them up and looked underneath,” he replied.? “I think it’s printed on the bottom.” CatcherAl: While visiting a water show a tourist asked one of the divers, "Why do scuba divers always fall backward off their boats? To which the diver replied, "If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat." CatcherAl: A wife asked her husband to describe her. He said, ‘You’re A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K’. She said, ‘What does that mean?’ He said, ‘Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous Hot’. She said, ‘Oh that’s so lovely. What about I, J, K?’ He said, ‘ I’m Just Kidding’ CatcherAl: The 80-year-old man sat down in the orthopedic surgeon’s office. “You know, Doc,” he said, “I’ve made love in more exotic cars than anyone I know. Must be at least a thousand.” “And now, I suppose, you want me to treat you for the arthritis you got from scrunching up in all those uncomfortable positions?” the doctor asked. “Hell, no!” the old fellow replied. “I want to borrow your Lamborghini!” CatcherAl: I asked my girlfriend to buy a single thyme plant while she was at the nursery, because that's all the room I have left in my planter. She came back with two plants because they were on sale. I guess she two thymed me. CatcherAl: Little Penny sees Little Millie coming back from girl scouts with several new badges. Penny: "Say, what didja get that badge for?" Millie: "For singing." Penny: "Ooh, nice! And what didja get that badge for?" Millie: "For not singing anymore."  CatcherAl: I had an appointment with my cardiologist yesterday and on his door it read 8 to 5. I left immediately! Why? I have to have better odds than that. CatcherAl: Are you doing anything? My neighbor, she’s single. She’s single, shapely, beautiful, and she lives right across the street. I watched her as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street, up my driveway and knocked on my door. I opened the door, she looked at me and said, ”I just got home, and I have this strong urge to have a good time, get drunk, and have fun tonight. Are you doing anything?” I quickly replied, “Nope, I’m free!” “Great” she said. ”Can you watch my dog?” CatcherAl: I wrote this a while back, thought it should maybe be dusted off and shared Looking without Seeing Discarded, like a chocolate wrapper, tight folded hiding what? A faded fascination hidden treasure mapped in minute lines within. Scientists could probe its past and map the tree of life from whence it came,missing altogether, love, beauty,grace,charm and reason, such abstracts never fitting in their complicated D.N.Aim. Perhaps that's why we have invented God? The only one who knows, records the rationale, otherwise mere existence is futile if no-one understands. Not being God we miss this simple virtue, cannot look, be near enough to recognise the reason why ? So we pass, unseeing, and leave to turn to dust, the poor dead butterfly. View all 4 posts  Sunny B Blessed: You are such a thoughtful person, to care so much for your pets. I hear sad stories of people who die, and their pets end up homeless or in shelters or worse. You are so kind and selfless, a true gentleman in every regard.  CatcherAl: A Wife Asked A Question To Her Husband Wife : Am I looking fat? Husband : Yes Wife : Shut up. Don’t you ever dare talk to me!! Wife : Am I looking fat? Husband : No Wife : Liar Wife : Am I looking fat? Husband : Maybe Wufe : can u ever b decisive Wife : Am I looking fat? Husband : I don’t know Wife : Are you blind? Wife : Am I looking fat? Husband : Depends Wife : Oh you comparing me with some one else.. Wife : Am I looking fat? Husband : silence Wife : Are you deaf? There are some questions for which there is no correct answer. For everything else there is Google . View all 7 posts CatcherAl in reply to Sunny B Blessed: I have used this comment or very close to it myself poppet. Love turns a rainy day into one filled with sunshine. xoxox CatcherAl in reply to Finger5: A Little White Lie “Does my bum look big in this”? She asked, While dressing for the dance. Dare I tell the truth to her? Should I take the chance? A strictly honest answer, well, would make her so aggrieved. So should I take the easy option? My anxiety relieved. All I really wanted, was a pleasant evening out, Without the usual drama queen, that ended with a pout. The sometimes stony silences, that went on for days and days, With accusatory glances and the “Please don't touch me gaze”. Should I say that she looked gorgeous, that the dress looked very chic. Would she smile in satisfaction, and, then offer me a cheek, Which I would kiss so very gently, and try not to disturb, The layers of built foundation cream, that frankly looked absurd. I preferred the fresh washed virgin look, the one without the paint. But, if I ever told her this, well, she's not the type to faint. It would most likely end our marriage, Yep, 'twould be the end of that. So in total honesty I turned and said, “Well my dear, you're fat!” Alan Carr Barbour. |
thank you 
They all participate as best they can to build it, and Owl, the mayor of the woods gives it to the public.
The next day as Owl is taking a stroll, he notices that one of the windows is smashed.
He calls an urgent meeting where all the animals gather together.
I am sorry for this bothersome affair – the Owl says – but I’m afraid the public restroom’s window has been smashed by an unknown individual! Anyone, who’s responsible for or witnessed this act, please step forward.
Amid silence, the Rabbit stands up and apologises.
Well, it just happened to be, that Bear was in the stall next to me, and he ran out of toilet paper.
So instead he grabbed me, wiped his bottom with my fur and threw me out the window.
Because Bear wasn’t in the meeting, and he was the biggest baddest animal around, no one bothered to scold him, and the mayor just asked Rabbit to be more careful next time.
Immediately some volunteers stepped forward to fix the window, and by afternoon it was good as new.
On the second day, the mayor goes for his daily stroll and sees the window smashed again.
He calls another meeting and asks the culprit to step forward.
The Otter stood up.
Well, it just happened to be, that Bear was in the stall next to me, he ran out of toilet paper, wiped his bum with my fur and threw me out the window.
The window was fixed again, and that was the end of it.
On the third day, the mayor sees that the window is not smashed this time, instead, a whole section of the wall fell down.
He calls the meeting, asks if anyone knows about anything.
The Hedgehog stood up.
Well, it just happened to be, that Bear was in the stall next to me…