Cassandra37 Offline

You are amazing

Even when I was at my worst the real me would fight through. I was always quick to laugh, quick to love, quick to help. My beginning was no joy. As an infant I dealt with more pain and trauma than more adults ever deal with in a lifetime. I shined as a child, and was praised and encouraged, but that was my down fall. When the people you love spend a young persons lifetime telling you how great you are, how easy it was going to be for you to succeed. It was truly devastating when at my peak, a pivotal moment in my life it all came crashing down. And those that had spent so many years telling how great I was abandoned me when I needed them most. Potential became a dirty word. Yes I’m not where anywhere anybody thought I would be at this age, but I’ve dragged myself from the muck of rock bottom more than once, more than twice, more than anyone should have to. I may not look like much from the outside but I’ve accomplished things that drag most into a bottomless pit in the blink of an eye to never escape. It’s been hard, it’s been maddening, more than once I’ve had to fight my way back from the brink of insanity. I tell you this not to say I an better or above anyone, I tell you this to offer you hope, to say it can be done, things can get better, but it’s a fight too many are unprepared for. I’m not going to lie to you, not every story has a happy ending, even those who seem to have everything can be destroyed by things they feel they have no control over. But ill fight forever if I have to because even if I don’t come out on top, even if I don’t get ahead, even if I don’t reach my goals, even if I burn out, with all that I’ve made it through, beaten, survived, I can still tell myself I put in the effort, I fought, I didn’t give up even when I was at my worst. For those of you who have survived hell a millions times over take a good look at yourself, you’ve survived hell and you’re still here, give yourself some credit, you’re strong, perseverant, extraordinary. Life is cruel, unfair, and brutal. Those with extra on their plate, illness, trauma, abuse, the weight of the world on their shoulders, they all deserve some compassion, understanding and credit. There’s so much more to a person than what you see on the surface, unfortunately a lot of what lies beneath in this day and age is not happy, pleasant, or life affirming. The one truly human experience is suffering. But that does not mean you can’t be happy or at least content. Celebrate the little victories, forgive yourself and others, push any chance you get. Even if it ends in disaster, goals unreached, a life time of struggle, you know in your heart you tried, you fought. And in the end the only person you really need to impress is yourself. You know what you did, you know what you’ve made it through, you know what you survived, you know what you endured, you know when things were at their worst and you just wanted to give in you didn’t. We can’t all live out our dreams, reach that golden tower, but we all can say we have over come, we have made it that next day and that is something special. So to all those who suffer, all those who struggle, all those that can make it just one more day, my heart goes out you. All those that fight even with no end is sight you are my heroes, my inspiration, my role models. Too many give in to sadness, to stress, to misery, to anger. Though they are valid to feel, it is when we find our inner strength, when we push past, when we make it just one more day in hell, we can prove to ourselves that we are truly amazing, we’ve fought the good fight. Like I said it’s impossible for everyone to have exactly everything they always wanted, but give yourself credit, it is due. We too quickly look down on those who struggle, most do not understand that the pushing, the sheer force of will to carry on when there’s nothing left to push with and yet they make it that one more day, is what makes them incredible. It’s the fight, the will to carry on just one more day that makes you remarkable, and no one can take that from you. Be proud of yourself, be kind to yourself, you are amazing.