云才 张 (苹果APPLE) Offline

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Humor ten minutes

[a selling child always think of bean curd nun is monk's daughter-in-law. One day, a nun to buy tofu, the child will call her "monk daughter-in-law." this can spirit bad the nun, didn't give the bean curd money went.

The child to sit down on the ground to cry. Then just a monk pass by, children came near, and seized him and said: "your daughter-in-law buy tofu don't give the bean curd money!"

The monk said: "I where there's a daughter-in-law?" "That is the nun ah." "You call her great aunt she gave you the money." Children delighted to find a nun: "great aunt, you put the bean curd money to me."

Nun see children no longer call her "monk daughter-in-law", very glad to give money, ask: "be who let you so call?" "Great uncle." ]







[late into the night, a bus after the last bus to look back into the car, the driver, and a white woman, sit at the last row. Drivers continue to drive, look at [the that girl, and didn't, frightened ~ ~ hurry nasty brake, turn head a see, and sat there, the driver guilty and turned his head to continue to drive, careful and see, and not the [woman, the surprised! Hurry and nasty brake, turn head a see, that woman again appeared. The driver imminent collapse in a cold sweat, turned to continue driving. The third driver and see, that woman again [sight, the driver has collapsed, it is a nasty brake, but not in turned away, then the woman slowly came to him before the messy hair, a full face of is a blood, dripping, in his feet, the driver was stiff body, not turned to look at her to the woman used very low voice say: "old niang and enemies with you!!!!! The old niang a ducks tie my shoes, you nasty brake, a squat down bottom, you and the brakes"]











[in high school I like the liberal arts class a beauty, though hardly is known, but suffer from does not have the chance to further close, for a long time is not only far view that what. And sit at the same table discussed N more close to the beauty of the measures, but most shameless, too few feasible. Then come up with a simple, is when she met in and active strike up a conversation, the content of the chat up for: ah, so qiao, you also XXXX. The content of the XXXX according to specific situations and decide, for example, in the library encounter said: ah, so qiao, you also come to the library, at the station encounter said: ah, so qiao, you also take this bus. And then you can continue to talk on the topic.

With this in mind the event, she met every day and thought. Finally one day: an urinate out from the toilet, saw her are the pond side to wash hands, the an excited, cast compact to also turn on the tap to wash your hands. She rushed the an smile, the an excited to say: ah, so qiao, you also urine hands? ]







[just graduation: brothers, see you ah, graduates for a year: brothers, after his wife; later: o brothers, regret; then o has a wife: brothers, there will be a wife; finally after o: brothers, regrets after a wife ah ~]







[next door that boy finally has vowed to reduce weight-graduate recruitment conference, someone said to him a sentence: "the elder brothers, let it, you are in my cell phone signal."]







[you do is that WuGong huashan mountain come to dominate the rare is the horse a pear pressure it retarded masters of shaolin temple adopted the little novice monk low-energy dog prosperous wealth crush of cockroach jack Bauer has rolled a dung ball?]







[money can buy a house but not a home, can buy marriage but can't buy love, can buy a clock but buy time, money is not everything, it is the root cause of suffering. You give me the money, let me a person bear pain!]







[fish said: I'm dying eyes open the around you is to not give away. The water said that, I have flowed not tired to surrounding you and take you hold. Pan said: fast ripe still so many useless talk..]







[one day have a mother-in-law by car... sit to midway mother-in-law don't know the way... the mother-in-law use a stick dozen a driver bottom to say: this is which? Said the driver: this is my ass...]







[doll asked mother: "how to make sentences with ABCDEFG?" mother: "A! This B C of the children home? Light A feet in D, EF also don't wear, also is revealing the small GG..."]







[stole my wallet thief turn over see only five dollars weep exclamation: "are not easy!".]







[said a drive into the city farmers cart was stopped by police, reason is no license plate, farmers find a broken wood writing a card hang, the police see immediately after the CARDS faint, write: the cow B-74110]







[two dumpling is married, send to walk after the guests to return to a bedroom, have found that the groom on the bed lay a meatball son! The bridegroom frightened, asked a bride? Meatball son is shy of say: hate, the somebody else took off clothes you incognizant!]







[a group of ants climbed the elephants back, but shook down, only an ant will never hold the elephant's neck not to put, the following the ant shout loudly: choked him, and took him to death, small kind, also his mama the!]











[a puppy climb up your table, a chicken to climb toward 1 to, you great anger way: you dare to that a chicken how, I dare to you how, the result puppy licked once a chicken bottom, you faint, puppy joy way: the small kind see who malicious.]







[you walk on the road, a bitch make a pounce upon you from your feet bit a piece of meat, quick swallow, your leg was about to kick it, the dog contain tears to say: you hit it, anyway I stomach already has your flesh!]







[mice have no girl friend special depressed, finally a bat agreed to marry him, the mouse was very glad. Others laugh he didn't taste, mouse: you know what, she somehow is an air hostess.







[yesterday dream god said can meet me a wish, I take out a globe say that want world peace, he say too difficult change a it. I take out you of photograph say that wanting this person become beautiful, he contemplated to once say or take a globle, I will see.]







[a female's ugly, unmarriageable, want to be abducted. Finally a dream come true, but half don't sell. The kidnapper him back to the, she resolutely don't get off the kidnappers, a stamp foot: go with his teeth, car don't.]











[cliffs a little rat brandish very short front PAWS, once again and again jump down go to, to learn to fly.

Flank mother the bat looking at scramble for it fell, anxiety of say: it dad, don't tell it, it's not the za is... ]







[have personal, for the first time in the market to sell Popsicle, embarrassed by business, a man was crying out: sell Popsicle!, he had to shout a way: me too.]











[a man give monkey hello peanuts, the monkey is always to fart eye plug a moment, and then eat again, that person doesn't understand to ask administrator, answer: it last year ate his peach, fee much trouble to pull out the nuclear, so now it what to eat before measure.]

Han han classic sayings<2> < a bit quiet.

57. Seem to be the most insurance or standing a carrier pigeon. Han han evaluation with China mobile, China unicom mobile phone network. 58. This year, killed dad or be dad killed is not news. Male students don't know ideas naive bumptious would give priority to, female students is not so ideas naive, and have part of the idea is very mature. Han han eyes-the college students. 59. That answer; Not a problem can be resolved within 20 words; No matter what finally leads to its own research to the fields, even if the problem is also such as prostitution; Like interrupt others words, don't like others interrupt his words; To whatever things will be divided into several aspects to say, even if said is a truth; In the negative things before you sure; They answer questions answered in half to ask them if they remember just what is the problem the eighty percent they don't remember; Overweight; Speaking hand must be waving; Be forced to can find no way out when the cultural revolution experiences with their as the capital of than anyone else, but can't explain like him why academic authority was not down; Be defeated must let people know they had bites; Concluding word can be in the dead and found in the book. Han han talk about "experts"-the characteristics. 60. Their biggest ideal estimates that can turn into a literary world is nursing homes. -han han: "Chinese literature is not a big reason is up these things speak very irresponsible and pretends to be the indefatigable like long-term occupy the authority of the literature review position." 61. The smaller the officer is more like the abuse of power. -the trouble of the Chinese people. 62. We Chinese always can't take English ask each other how go to the Great Wall. -han han think, popularity spread English mandarin than more important. 63. Close your eyes thought is in Oxford, open my eyes a look is in tianjin. The Chinese school, during morning independent study. 64. What was deified is necessarily say a lot after the next step in. 65. A small shop also wish I could listed? Han han talk about college students-the phenomenon of above his business. 66. The incredible incredibly still have spent money to go to school in parents eat more than 20 year old people of our comprehensive ability complacent. -do a talk show, a college students stood up to hanhan said, you may write ability than us, but you of the comprehensive ability than we are college students. 67. The essay scoring cancelled after the proposal in fine sent to a "exactly", "are not", "reference curriculum", "NiWoZheWang" four got. -han han: "a person, not qualified to judge a article is excellent, and second article fail. Can only say that I like a article don't like b articles, or, a articles and teaching outline required in the worse, b almost a little far." 68. The heart of the patriotic in see China playing a World Cup tournament or Chinese embassy bombing in expression and when training, it will not because of a class in the burning sun exposure is dozens of hours and increase. Han han talk about high school-military training. 69-han han: "no matter what kind of teacher in heart, I think this is all very funny things, and invaded the human rights. Most at least, you can not advocate, but you can't blow." . Even a minor education are not incredibly want to education adults. Han han-the "call your parents on a". 70. The teacher was originally a from low ability training school of people out, like when I went to school, only performance around really bad, and completely without what special features, and don't want to go to a private, take an examination of college and don't think bad people choose the normal, and in normal developed a true skill, or and very beautiful, or learning excellent will not choose to come out and do the teacher, so in normal again only performance is not, and no special skill, and don't want to join the army, suspicion unemployment is horrible people chose to be a teacher. So to the teacher can do very little skill. 71. China for thousands of years the status of teachers deliberately will support, finally out this totally incorrect today position. -han han: "in fact disclose, teacher only a career, and his family is a way, and taxi driver, cleaners no essential difference." 72. The false travels fast, really nobody reason. 73. We can't borrow the management in the name of the bullying squeezing some poor people, also can't borrow in the name of the management can pamper will corrupt officials. If, as the urban management catch as catch the size of the Chinese merchant corruption, that society must be more harmonious. Countries must be strong. 74. Clearly the obscene, gather together so that high society? 75. Life is really the most innocent things, it clearly the most fair, but for their countless people an excuse to do bad things. Everything is forced by life, and life but never got caught. 76. I really can't imagine when two people very much in love of time, suddenly appears with a is neither my parents, also not the other parents said: no, you can't together. 77. The never lose, I admit, I lost to you. -by female teacher's han han harassment years (15 December 2007) 78. Actually the university entrance exam pressure is completely economic pressure, and if the day before the university entrance exam, suddenly tell you you parents are dead, but actually sold baked wheat cake of a mother and father a few legacy, I think most of the people to poke attitude to participate in the test, and across a call you analysis such as "incredibly" and "should" two words in addition to stroke is not the same as the other than more what is the difference between the subject and the sound of a cry: ye not test! 79 there is a saying "love is a woman's best cosmetic", that's not really true, love not the power of love is just to buy that women's best cosmetic, that's all. 80. The ninety s female students articles like a stable, it was full of black horse prince and endless childhood friends. 81. A few years ago with the key high school test, and now has been a crazy. 82. The rules is actually the pastime after food and clothing, food and clothing are not, and the rules? 83. Send person rose, the hand there are lingering fragrance, you send person blame, you hand or black. -from han han "New Year a few things" 84. The so-called feet hurt kick, headache play head, another foreign aid in the domestic league eyes and kicked the residual. Do not too civilization, lane is bad to international society to China's impression is by the sea in the original forests play a group of coconut baboons 85. Several years ago I saw on TV a advertising, the effect is so of, on the bus, the older man depressed, people ask, how do you. The old man said, I've got cancer. The conductor said, no, I am a few years ago has cancer, in front of a station a hospital treatment, well now. The driver then said, yes, my cancer is also there had been healed. And then a car passengers are saying, our cancer, are there healed. 86. Liu xiang, that people think he should be modest point. Is the world record holder, and if I have to say that, no no, I run not yet. Maybe some people listen to the heart comfortable, but such modesty is actually to others more insults, this call not line, that you are handicapped. 87. The s from over, wasted time, it always cannot leave a "Cuo" word, "cultural revolution" when playing majiang countryside rope, then mix the mayor on playing mahjong, playing mahjong rub all the camel back, but the real significance of the waste reflect. 88. I will not join one? If I go to the President, I would go to, I worked in the next second to dissolved. 89. Even if I'm a celebrity, but I also wanted, thou thou thou,,,,, qing qing, wanted to GaoXiaoSong be han han's degree, so I don't like to do what the judges. -" the eminence be extremely and cold, "a word GaoXiaoSong down han han 90. Whether you like firecrackers little as? The end is a cannon fodder. 91. The most sad brokenhearted of the people not because the lover to leave, but because of their situation sympathy and compassion. 92. The world logical points two kinds, one kind is logical, one kind is China's logic. 93. The taste is also interesting, entertainment always is not easy. 94. To feel oneself very bright, the other people all want to have special ulterior motives, what poor bo piece and the like. If a thing, with their head will know that it is a bad, was I can not know. 95. Although I will not engage in any movie and TV show, but in fact I was a good actor, but no one is qualified to director I just. Don't learn of me. You let me again, I can't learn like themselves. 96. Some people, are used to fell, look out think people all over the world are ill. 97. In fact, the long trip, do you like to wear who, she is a good girl. 98. For a driver of state of mind, I personally think any one in China can live bottom to go to of person, has the very strong point of view, does not need to separate the mentality of the training. 99. In addition to the criminal, no one in this world who do what they like. - -" his kingdom "100. This is a real with nothing to do, doing nothing to let outsiders look at as if in a great plan is dry. - -" his kingdom "101. First, he feel that they are doing great things, and not covet petty gain should go to these, this is not his character, but the most depressed is, since decided to go to the greed of sublimity, results, as always, not greed. 102. Don't think that in Paris under the Eiffel Tower is very fashionable.- - - han han evaluation, MV 103. Do you think that the milk bad to drink because you crowded of milk taste better? You think this egg is not good because you better eat eggs? -han han said he didn't like the famous ba jin, was accused han han said so. 104. Always wrong on the dead. 105. I miss most some year, free fresh air, mountains and wood smoke in the air, the dog and the field, I sleep a summer.

Han han classic sayings<1> < a bit quiet. "

The best answer

1. The truth is often in a few hands, and a few people must obey the most people, and in the end the truth or in most hand, parrot is such piling up. The first man said words, was the second man heard this, and he say together, this time against the third person, and the fourth person a look, part two people and one side only one, then follow that two people together to say. Many men have many minds is the one who is not always has a mind of its own, many more people there is blunt. 2. I've said that most people don't refute to fold the quilt is not-it is to spread out of sleep-but this is also the first to be back off. Understand yao, this is the rules. We are sad, because we have too many rules. 3. I think I'm the world's extremely intelligent people. Dr. Because some insight not many grow actually, just learned how to put a people understand what they write ghost can not understand 4. If the modern era to the all-rounder, that is to the exam-oriented education lucky and The Times of adversity. If so, he is the king of the people, but did not, so we had to take the "all" the word of the man "king" to take off. The needs of The Times just talents. 5. Now education problem is nobody will take a shower naked, but too many people are wearing quilted jacket a bath. And I think, the situation is: carrefour is like a blow-ups, let a group holding out, on the one hand, may usually live too depressive, to find a nothing cost exports. On the one hand side to side ask this out blow-ups and inflatable doll manufacturers, I strong ah, my strong oh, see that to make blow-ups next to the people still not interested accused them of impotency 7. China look down on the great man. And it seems to me big and little, like the ancient women used to tie up feet, meet with normal feet says "bigfoot"; The Chinese say spoil the "little things", meet with normal word, of course it is called "big". Dare to talk big people do not have good end, scared to later generations never talk big into not to talk. 8. I become a phenomenon, moral character failed the exam, always better than no good ideas. 9. Because said that before, literature is often political prostitutes, so, as mentioned, I wait on the critics comfortable or not? Should I call ChenDanQing to everyone also recognized a wrong, sf more comfortable oh...... If you think I such service is good, since I have been point I oh, my id number is 180000 4531, id number is a bit hard to remember, alas, can't, the writer of this line of working too much... 10. I love a siege, often in violation of rules class, the teacher in charge often I copied class rules for 20 times, I had to three pens hold together. I often say, I legible hand is so from practice. 11. The street little beauty, because this year, the last time the beauty of the bed every day than the last time the beauty of the street every day. As soon as the girls, a feminine beauty, all standing in hotel; Very feminine beauty, all in the hotel sleep, Very feminine beauty, all in the hotel manager arms lying down. 12. At the gate of zhouzhuang stop was full of all kinds of the bus, so our government officials to improve the art accomplishment is pay attention to. 13. The manger is odious, actually, the most hateful is finished pull excrement will hold and pit. 14. A man after brokenhearted, or committed suicide, or love again a love, and the second time to look for the requirements of the object in the first often close, this kind of mental state is subtle, such as soundly as something to eat, and suddenly be rob fell, nature should leave no stone unturned to want to find similar taste-the logic applies only to the betrayal of their pursuit or not if really. If two people each other again have no emotion that it does not exist the "shadow love", the more you have, the more smelly thing don't have to eat again. 15. The hair of his head like a celebrity, I is invisible, but others be clear at a glance. 16. Chinese science English all very good, music sports computer zero, even the boot all can't, I'm still a top student. But if I music sports computer good let people heinous, Portuguese speak as mother tongue, but English and math chemical all failed the exam, I also is a way out. 17. A 18 years or older adults, incredibly still don't know what is their future ideal, like is what, that's education failure. 18. The math is doing, and constantly do, do you the test found that all the questions on the paper, and will do. 19. I was in school, like playing football. Someone irony I said to play and play less than the national team, playing again good all right but ronaldo, played about what mean. Not supposed to play. So, if you like driving, I say to you, you also open open again less than McLaren, open to faster and faster but schumacher, open to have what mean, driver's license confiscated. 20. The words of love is largely for his face, such as school feel grow good-looking have a face, and the office think find a rich have a face, actually love is face. 21. Fighting against SARS, some airlines launched teachers and health care workers a sixty percent discount ticket measures, make people very confused. Feel like is a nurse not enough young female teacher in the front line. But, I really can't see the teacher in addition to teach people to wash their hands outside what and "SARS" pull on the relationship. That I was on a plane cleaners can play sixty percent? 22. The article this thing, in the statement is smooth, the wrong character not much to affect reading, completely no judgment standard of quality. I grab a zhu article turn, not a teacher feels his students to write a composition is good to the level of the masters, and still a lot of amendments 23. Have a year of school tuition fees in the more than 100 yuan to collect, reason is to the guardian of the loan to be used in education construction, as for reimbursement, not only life and the interest-free. To the last man who borrow money anyway be don't know whether this money to build a what. 24. The Chinese, "secret" have two: one is the watch Chinese books; 2 it is not as documents. 25, I read a book with my principle, and I don't like Chinese books, composition, because I hate these things make person's money and kill the individuality and creativity. I'm more like wang, this boy is very smart, and very sincerely. My writing characteristics more like qian zhongshu's fortress besieged, because I admire him for his call names scold the profound and not explicit. 26, students send me an examination paper, there is A problem with my articles for analysis, ask my article from the following the competition choose after all: A: the first national new concept composition contest; B, the first new national concept composition contest; C: new concept first national composition contest. You said this is a thing! The purpose of a test is??????? Our language education is really great! 27, my novel basically didn't do things the hero, so HunHunDunDun have a. This is life. Why must be higher than life? 28, mathematics, I think I just up to second is enough. One comprehensive development of course good, but probably more comprehensive development the more a mediocre man. Say a personal learning higher mathematics is to develop a logical ability, I think logical ability is born of nature, and not made things. The ancients not learn the higher mathematics, should not logical ability? 29 and seven course red light, the light up my future. 30, I think, almost more and more social celebrities to come here to performance and sympathy, I also should walk. And, I am a big gold in Shanghai, I'll make a lot of people about. 32, I find it hard to summarize your own personality. I for those fixed personality is particularly objectionable, I just do as I like it. I don't want to follow the crowd, I couldn't write is that "ah, our glorious bridge" kind of things. 33, take time off arrangements have answers, may for the triple door "in Shanghai issued publicity, to their peers make a book signing tour, summer vacation is about some company to go to Tibet to...... Year-end months locked in the home, will be one year experience into BiDuan. 34. Nervous talk of reflect not forget content, but forget transition, all don't know what he was saying, no causal relationship between two words that sentence will be able to "so" together. 35. The family is like a mountain, both sides to try very hard to climb, and the top of the mountain only let a person sustained. Said home like a mountain, the mountain is more important to let two tigers, once at two tigers, must want to grim struggle to points porch light. A man usually use beyond the academic markets such as have to solve the dispute, say so, a woman behind most of the failure there will be a successful man. 36. The problems involved in money, love life is different. I often can see the evil of the ugly man hug a pretty woman. 37. We have reason to believe that a in love love is short, because love itself is short; And establish money love is forever, because money is eternal. 38. Shanghai: Shanghai beauty walking in the street have MuBuXieShi, proud to look only at the front, wear the road is no exception; Shanghai men are mostly eye not face, trying to search the beauty, the face of the muscle has been training can be not affected by brain control and independent action, saw beauty will be finding a laugh, because of this concern, so, in Shanghai only hear the car crashed old woman, fresh smell have the car rammed into the beauty. 39. The city is just like a woman, the day we see is great was fair faces, and stay until night you can only see her after discharge makeup appearance. That is the true. 40. Trend is only can't be catching, this in the railway station and waiting for the train is a truth, darling stay at site, always have a car to, as for left just now car, we broadly generation is not overtake. -once the hair, "below zero 41. Hate a person four years than like a person four years more severe. Love is a kind of inertia, but hate to constantly pushing himself to just go. 42. Han han: "a bunch of no achievement person incredibly also accused a world champion of the education mode has a problem, is China's logic." The americans accused of han han, billiards of education DingJunHui champion way to have a problem. 43. What it to the last also is the altar, what also is to the last lap of the unknowns. 44. The teacher is not popular and family education is the heat, visible for granted things as knowledge this fall in love, and dozens of co is beneath, and one-to-one is precious. Precious things of course really expensive, one hour a few yuan, basically with prostitutes open is a price. With are making money, the teacher is more severe than a prostitute. Prostitute making money, because prostitutes for the other party happy; The teacher gave each other pain, but so the money, this is great about family education. -han han, the "triple door" 45. And women argue that is not wise. No matter the female is wise. 46. The power to defend the rights of the higher than you. -han han, "like young la speed" 47. The national famous persecution students of the source. Talking about Beijing's haidian district-han han. 48. Most of the modern poetry in fact is a third-rate prose split into a a line of writing, and compared the so-called master or of the pioneers of the prose is a third-rate every sentence to the sentence order trouble split into a line to write. -han han, "through 2003", "the poetry of the problems of 49. As long as shameless, who one day can write dozens of the first modern poetry. -han han, "through 2003", "the poetry of the problems of 50. The so-called pressure big, study hard, places less, it's all the things people, rich shall have the right to, from no said education have what not good, because it is what they couldn't understand things. -han han, "through 2003", "the recruit students of the problems of 51. We mainly to you here to learn, words are good, but you have been doing in school? -han han, "through 2003", "the college students' problems of 52. Ancestors is pitiful, cited their many words and a lot of times, not because of respect them, but happened to them and you want to, the use of these words, and to argue or criticism to a and the people just. -han han, "through 2003", "the language of the problems of 53. Owe people money and owe human feelings are quite different. Such as others owe you a sum of money, dragging a long time, and you have flatly disappointed, at that moment, the person who suddenly return money, you will feel the body is like the wealth, not your money, then spend spend; But if others owe you a feeling, also a long time, until the people you love, you will love this added fully cherish. 54., of man's character, the most sad thing is the trip two male a female such internal will be united. 55. Do not beautiful girls that whine success rate than actually pretty girls to high, because the pretty girls when man can't help but take should look more for a while, then vote on whether it is worth in the heart; Not beautiful girl and the charming, is like our country of western scholars learn writer writing technique, always have its shape feeling; To see their act in pettish, can have a kind of guilt, so men will be scurrying to promise to stop its ACTS like a child more than. 56. When the most painful call names are not too others use your words back and forth to scold you, component will surge in the many.

The latest classic jokes <Chinese humor >

The latest classic jokes

• 1. Female: "as long as rich, I married who will do." Male: "the bank's safe you married?"



2. The time of quarrel, the difference between men and women seem revolver and machine gun of differentiation.



3. My wife wants to lose weight, so she went horse riding every day. As a result the horse lost 40 kg in months.



4. The patient: "doctor, you left scissors in my belly inside." "It doesn't matter, I have a pair of."



5. The judge: why did you make the counterfeit money? The accused innocence say: for I will not print true chao.



6. His wife: "the man is all timidity." Man: "not exactly, otherwise I why would with you get married."



7. Top allied: ha ha ha ha ha, allied: gnome male-" hey hey. Horizontal batch: nervous illness



8. The first years: he said to her. The second years: she said, he listen to. The third year, they said, and the neighbors listen.



9. If our existence of icy cold of the world still difficult change, at least I have you dissolve the appearance of ice and snow.



10. A thief a: "quick count today totally robbed how much?" Thief's b: "don't, tomorrow read newspaper to know."



11. Teacher: "Peter, do you know how many years mice can live?" Peter: "the idea that will see cat."



12. The kangaroo say to the dog: "I could put the phone on my bag, and you can only the phone to hang on the fart fart!"



13. Pig eight quit: I change name to call a match pan Anne, many beauty wait me! Sun wukong: could you get to the Internet, idiot.



14. The daughter ask a mother: "father formerly shy?" "If he does not shy, you now be big at least 4 years old!"



15. Father: you so big, should seek a wife. Son: yes, but the vast sea of humanity, I find who's wife?



16. Female: "you talk with me how old chew sugar?" Male: "don't chew sugar which come so much sweet words?"



17. A female: "your fiance know your age?" B female: "yes, he know one part."



18. "I regarded her as the arctic to treat!" "How?" "She cold as ice general, and like loadstone attract me."



19. Difficult to achieve

Omaha, with a family car driving on the rural roads, suddenly, he found a frog was across the street. Omaha, hurriedly on the brakes, go down, the frog on the roadside. The frog thank salmon ha, and promised to realize the salmon, a wish. So, salmon, and the frog said:

"Next week will have a 'dog contest', I choose to let my dog be the first." The frog asked to see a look at the dog, salmon, from car and the dog out. The frog a look, the dog stupid and fat, and is only three legs.

"I'm afraid this desire to realize, you still another one wish!" The frog with guilty face.

"So, how about you let my wife in the beauty contest next to win the first!" Omaha, demanded.

The frog let salmon, from the wife get out of the car and looked at said: "can I have another look just that dog?"



20. So ugly

There is a women look ugly, men see flee from three points after. Women have a biggest wish, is to make the traffickers kidnapping, and then... Then, as night falls, she was wandering in a lonely country road, waiting for the time to come.

Not much later that day late into the night, she finally was a kidnapping plug into the kidnappers inside. The kidnappers with his "victory fruit," to see the militant leader, ready to QingGong the receiving of the reward. But, the militant leader a unto the woman looks, can't help to lambaste the kidnappers didn't taste, and ordered him to leave the car immediately the girl. In accordance with the command of the kidnappers head to get off the woman, but woman didn't get off mean. Deadlocked for a long time, the militant use bullying, threatening, beating up wait for a variety of means to get off the woman, but woman has not yield, she just doesn't get off the bus. The militant leader sees, helplessly shouted: "come on!! They don't!"



21. Don't fair

Have a priest and a bus driver also died, but the bus driver to heaven, but the priest in hell. The priest the life contribution in the church but hell, think quite rough.

So god to complain. Priest: "Lord! All my life I have contribute to church every Sunday, with your believers to pray. Why I was not as good as a bus driver? Hell??" God: "yeah!!! Just because so you just hell. You every Sunday with believers, they pray, but they are all in the head to sleep! But the bus driver in the street every day rampage, but his passenger in prayer!"



22. The poison

Customers from pharmacy buy medicine has just come out, a pharmacy man hurried ran after me.

Waiter: I'm sorry, you want is a tonic, I was wrong to you poison.

Customer: you see you, almost out of the big occasion.

Waiter: is not, the boss will certainly scold me after know, poison is twice as expensive tonic?



23. Avoid asking questions

A professor of botany at a good fame at home and his assistants are studying new varieties of plants.

One day, teaching assistant asked the professor: "if you in the field practice lesson, meet the unknown plant, how should do?"

Professor answer a way: "I usually walk in the front, and then don't know all the plants, in order to avoid the student asked trampled to death."



24. The activity the factory director

A worker asked the director secretary:

"The factory director theatre how always sit in front of the?"

"Lead the masses."

"To see the movie how he and the middle seat?"

"Among the masses."

"Come guest, on the dining table is what always have our factory director?"

"Represents the masses."

"But he every day at the office......"

"Fool, believe that the masses bai!"



25. The assassin

Two gunmen ambush, going to attempt against someone, but always see those people in sight. One worry he said: "why is it? I have yet to see him, I wish he don't accident!"



26. A tooth

John: "your father is like a miser, you see, he is a cobbler, you still wear so break of shoes."

Tom: "that your father? He is a well-known dentist, but your younger brother younger brother but only a tooth!"



27. Conscience to watch

One day, a poet and a drink with friends. They want a some snacks, four sparrows. His friend breath even eat three, was about to eat the last one, the poet favour say: "this one should I eat?" Friends sighed and said, "I wanted to eat for you, but I really don't have the heart to split up them, or let them together. Say that finish, he put the last one also eat down.