brettwilliams2014sep Offline

39 Male from Des Moines       1
       

WAIT AND GAIN NOTHING OR TAKE ACTION AND BUILD SOMETHING

As couples work through the broken pieces of their relationship, each side would prefer their partner take the lead toward restoring it.

Not just with their words, but more so through their actions.

Sadly, so many damaged marriages consist of two people sitting with their arms folded screaming, “when he/she does this, then I will do that!” If this is the mentality of each spouse, it’s inevitable they will only continue drifting further apart.

Marriage is a 2-way street. If you place all the happiness and success of your marriage on your partner, you’re asking them to carry a heavy burden; a huge load which only spawns resentment toward you, creating an even bigger rift.

If you want real change, then you might have to take the lead, which will require effort and placing yourself in a vulnerable spot. The fear married people face when deciding to invest in their spouse, following months / years of challenging circumstances, is that their spouse won’t reciprocate it in a positive way.

It’s hurtful when you allow yourself to be vulnerable only to get scarred by someone you love and trust.

Yet, ask yourself, if your spouse began really focusing on you, going above and beyond to meet and exceed your deepest desires, how would you react to their efforts? Positively I assume.

With this in mind, start thinking of small ways you can get your spouse’s attention and meet their needs. Remember, you’re not in control of your spouse’s actions. You’re in control of your own. You can choose what kind of marriage you desire, and through some effort make it a reality.