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bigleftyPitcher: In summer, I drive with hands at 11 and 1 so the air conditioner vents point directly at my armpits.
bigleftyPitcher: Did you know you can replace Sweet Child O Mine with Sweet Glass O Wine and it makes for an even better song
bigleftyPitcher: Give a man a fish and he’ll say “Sir put that back in the tank.” Teach a man to fish and he’ll say “ok pal, it’s time you left the aquarium”
bigleftyPitcher: I’d probably be on time more often if I had an alarm clock that yelled, “Pancakes are ready!”
bigleftyPitcher: Being stuck at home for the last 3 months and waiting for FedEx today makes me understand why dogs go nuts when the mailman shows up.
bigleftyPitcher: Working from home has been a good way to find out which of my neighbors have loud lawnmowers and barking dogs. All of them. The answer is all of them.
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bigleftyPitcher: been doing nothing but overeating and avoiding exercise since this quarantine started and for the last 10 years before that too
bigleftyPitcher: When this is all over, I’m going to miss only waving at neighbours from a distance.
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chashirekat2016: What’s with the paper part INSIDE the plastic part? If you’d try to do that with any other meat, you’d laughed out of town. Everything about it seems designed to discourage you from getting at the bacon. Where do I poke the knife in??! Great, now I have a contaminated knife that I only used to cut packaging. So much planning. Just thinking about this makes me sizzle 🥓