Born to Rule
bandushot001: In a lift, man elbow accidently touched lady's breast.
Man: if your heart is soft as your breast you will forgive me.
Lady: if you sex organ is hard as your elbow I am in room 207.
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bandushot001: Day 1
: Dad u got called to school
: Y wat happened?
: Math teacher asked me wat is 7x9 n I answered 63
: Then she asked wat is 9x7..
: Wats the fucking difference?
: That's exactly wat I said
: Dad did u come to school?
: OK good cuz the gym teacher wants u to com too..
: Wat happened now?
: Well first he asked me to raise my right hand, then my left hand, then my left leg and then my right leg....
: So wat did u have to stand on your dick now?
: that's exactly wat I said too..
: Were you in school dad?
: No y?
: I got expelled..
: Wat the hell happened son?
: Well I got called to d princy 's office and the math teacher, gym teacher and art teacher was thr..
: Wat the fuck was the art teacher doin thr?
: 😛Thats exactly wat I asked
bandushot001: My dear wife/GF,
The Fifa World Cup is close by.
Let me give u a few rules that will preserve your beauty...
1. The remote control belongs to me for the whole month.
2. Tell all yo friends not to gv birth or wed or die or wateva during the World Cup coz we won't go.
3. You support the teams that i support.
4. No talking during the game, wait for half-time or end of the game.
5. Repeats & highlights are as
good as the main match, so am gonna watch them..
6. We can watch STAR PLUS
provided actors and actresses Are wearing soccer jerseys and they are in Brazil.
7. U dont just pass infront of the tv if am watching soccer, u better crawl on the floor.
8. Make sure you don't ask silly questions such as; is this Chelsea versus England?
9. No funny faces to my friends when they come for soccer.
10. Smile everytime EXCEPT when my team is losing
11.There shall be no comments about Cristiano Ronaldo's looks. Professionalism shall remain an absolute part of the WC.
12.If you miss the line up please dont ask, 'who is that guy?'
13. Ronaldo the Brazilian and Ronaldo the Portuguese are not related, Tanzania and Kenya did not qualify, and there is a 5 hour difference between Brazil and Dar, so please no stupid questions.
bandushot001: A fully-Nude lady gets into taxi,
Driver looks at her top to bottom repeatedly..
lady- haven't u ever seen a naked women??
Driver: not that, I'm just wondering where have u kept the money to pay me..
MORAL: Concentrate on ur Business, no matter what happens..😁😁
bandushot001: Tarzan and the animals went to the river tot take bath....
Tarzan removed his clothes....All animals started laughing.
Tarzan asked "why" ?
The animals told him..."Your tail is in the front "