Used to be called Writer on here
arissa_jade: Ever have one of those days where all you expect to do is catch up on the sleep you lost over the weekend only to find out your body still wakes p at the butt crack of dawn and shortly after it little tiny humans either arrive to wait out the time of the bus or rise up and become like death spawn with fits of crying or screaming?
arissa_jade: Well im starting to get things together finally. Found a trailer I can afford, a washer and dryer and a tv that I can mnage to see things on rather than the small lil piece of shit i have all for $3000 plus i get first dibs on any of her furniture and stuff she doesn't want or has no use for in an apartment
arissa_jade: I'm so close to being done with this erotic fairytale short story which has twisted and turned so many times and combined 2 very different storylines along with revisions and been more of a headache to write than most i do.
arissa_jade: Sitting here teasing son he better never bring over a gf because my cat is so "enamoured" with him she's gonna rip into any female who likes him.
arissa_jade: What would be better? A nympho who believes she is a royal princess and should be treated as sch and be given exactly what she wnts is placed in a mental hospital for her grand delusions where she has an orderly, the psychologist, and maybe one of the guards? or should i make her into a modern day goldilocks who is caught sleeping in 3 bear shifters cabin? These are the 2 choices i have.
arissa_jade: Ok.I'm gonna get real and honest with yall. You dont like it, block me. I'm supposed to be attending a writer's summit online but damn if i cant concentrate and keep falling asleep as i listen and work through the homework which involves a lot of introspect and try to work on my stories!
They've been talking bout the stakes in a romance and all i can think about is sinking my teeth into a nice juicy steak and the recent events that have made me feel like a bumbling fool the last couple weeks.
I've been chewing on the stuff they've been talking about all night and throughout the day. Its affecting what could possibly he a real connection, if there ever truly is such a thing on here. I keep messing up how i'm coming off to certain people I find interesting and i'm sorry. I'm getting a lot of shit dredged up from my past partly due to the exercises they are having us work on in the summit and recent incidents here on wireclub. I'm somehow mincing over my own real story and how fucked up my childhood and early relationships was and how its affected me and ive noticed today all my demons have been spilling out of me like word vomit. If i'm revealing too much of something to someone, please stop me.
It doesnt help Ive been so distracted by liars and their bullshit and drama the past week in my real life which really hurt me so much that im trying to stay away people as its all been coming to a head the past 72hours.
I'm fighting not only the drama, the cold, my financial issues and not having a stable place and also fighting getting sick while everyone else round me is sick and im not feeling the best due to lack of decent sleep, worry and stress.
I'm trying to move on with my life after having someone close to me beg me for several months to come up to Ohio. He said he wanted to take things slow and reconnect cause its been about 20 yrs since we were thick as thieves and occassional lovers when we were last together. He was the one I turned to to be my rock after i lost my kids to the state over an ex who wanted our daughter for her disability check and put into a plan to get full custody of her. He was the one who picked me up and made sure i didnt do anything stupid like suicide. So there isnt anything i wouldnt do for this man but he showed his ass and now im dealing with the fallout of a 20+ year relationship.
So yes, people i'm sill licking my wounds but i'm trying to move on only to come into Wireclub here and having creepy men try to hit me up in my PMs asking which type of woman I am - if a dog were to come up to me and stick its nose under my dress and in my crotch if i would be down to letting him lick me or would i push it away. I pressed Block and this idiot came back under a different name less than 2 hours later and asked the same question again, that time i blocked and reported, but Really guys? You think questions like that gets us all hot and bothered to have some sicko fantasy of yours played out like that? I'm certifyable crazy and know that isnt right!
Then of course there is the forever domineering idiot who i also blocked this week demanding my reaction to his question of having his buddy have his way with me any way he wanted and for me to be a stupid lil bitch and roll over and take it like some sort of kinky sex slave then have the man who asked me that question only to add on he wanted to watch us until he decides to join in and has his way with me in the sme respect and then wants me to domme his friend while he watches; Thenhe has the ordascidy to asks me what my reaction would be about dominating his friend after they dominate and humilate me but then calls me a damn bitch and not wanting fair play because i answer him honestly and allow my aggressive domme side out for my answer which is I'd dominate both them and do unto them as they did onto me and was called a total bitch because its ok fr themto use me me anyway they wish and humiliate me but not them. I'm sorry i'm not the type to sit idly by and get humiliated and turned into a submissive sex doll to be used and abused for their own sick pleasure.
Granted i got a few guy friends on here who seem sweet and everything but they just want to have cyber sex with me everytiime we chat. Hense i dont want to chat. Do you know how old cyber sex and sexting gets when you also have to write intimate moments and everything from sweet and sensual encounters to rough and dirty sex day in and day out? daily for work?- Guys i love sex dont get me wrong, but i dont have the mental aptitude to pretend play sex all day and night with you. I need a man to hold and feel deep inside me, and the warmth of bare skin in my hands to get all hot and bothered. To be honest, if i wanted just cyber sex i still have a few phone numbers where i can get a lot better sex from real friends online sorry to say.
And then I have one that gives me conflicting messages. Apparently he seems only interested in hooking up with me as long as he gets my friend as well (who is faithfully married even though her husband is a pompus jerk) and then talks about pawning me off on another guy he knows. Yet probably wonders why i havent bothered to text back.
No wonder why i'm having all my old issues resurface of bad relationships and having night terrors return of one of my ex's trying to kill me on multiple occassions. This maybe one of the biggest reasons why i get quiet and go into myself and wonder why i get tired of being female and start showing off the male parts of my brain where i think i need to fight and be aggressive and just be an utter ass.
All I want is a really great guy who loves to have fun doesnt treat women like a piece of dog chow, and really wants a long term relationship not just in it for the mind games amd manipulation.
arissa_jade: Depressing, as much as i try to save up to hurry up and get us in somewhere before the snow flies I still might have to just freeze my ass off while homeless because the ideal place for us only has waiting lists
arissa_jade: Hopefully I get an answer sometime this morning from a tech friend idk what im doing different but I got one page that does not want to work. Once the issue is resolved it can go live lol
arissa_jade: Im so dragged out tired i havent been to bed yet. The minute i fell asleep last night I ws woken up.
arissa_jade: well waiting for a background check to come back and if that comes back the way it should ive got work for over the holidays at least.
arissa_jade: Not sure if i'm gonna be able to sleep later. I feel like every time i eat from Burger King my stomach ends up churning and cramping.
To make matters worse there is two people out here now who are sick as dogs lthough the one who started it is almost over his and his sister is beginning to get worse. My son came down with a touch of it as well but has since recovered cause of having a higher immune system.
I'm the only hold out here who hasnt shown any symptoms of being sick or coming down with whatever they have so keep your fingers crossed and pray I dont come down with it and its just a touch of food poisoning.
PS - I havent had the flu for over 14 yrs now and when i caught it last i had all 4 strains of it that were going around due to having to go in for a normal check up and was fine prior to my appointment but was exposed there.
arissa_jade: Tired, sore and starting to get a cold from being cold. 12 yrs since ive had a full on head cold or the flu or anything associated to the approaching cold weather. My body doesnt even know what to make of this. I'm supposed to get a call today from Goodwill but didnt put down a work history because i havent worked in the tradiotional since in well over 13 yrs. kinda hard to put down any pertinent work history when i can't remember past 10 minutes without writing it all down or concentrating really, really hard and then its only a 20% recall.
arissa_jade: So furious right now! My best friend (a Taurus through and through due to his bullheaded shit) who begged and begged and begged me to come up to Ohio to be there for him is now going around to people trying to say that we came up unannounced even though i have the texts and call logs to prove my side of the story.
Now on top of all of this he has ignored me pretty much after the first day after i got here because I spent the last of my money on an AC for his room (which I found out later he didnt need and paid around $200 in groceries plus extras like cigarettes and fast food. He ignores me so he can "talk" to other women who he thinks will do him so much better. Apparently, I'm only ok to be around as long as I have money to blow on him or give him a place to stay.
All I can say is this Taurus just met his match because i have no problems with grabbing a bull by his horns and showing him who is really the boss. Too bad so sad, cause my son and I are getting a place and he isnt gonna be invited to stay. Not to mention all the crap I've had to take because I've been working on my website, Patreon, marketing, and bookcovers in between writing projects will all start to pay off by the end of the year and he wont be getting any of the pie.
Now, please tell me where are the real men at who want a real relationship?
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arissa_jade in reply to chickabooms: Its ok chicka karma will get him and like his sister says when this girl dumps him for using her and he tries to come running to me i can use his own words against him I'm only a friend and as a friend I'm not entitled to pay for anything for him or give him a place to stay since he doesnt look at me in any other capacity and he burnt all his bridges with me by lying about me and to me.
I am waiting to hear from the Goodwill today or tomorrow the manager said she'd be in contact over an application i put in for a cashier and or merchandiser or whatever they call themselves.
arissa_jade: Finding out that my only value as a friend, apparently is my availibility to give money. Not that I stuck by someone when they needed a friend, or a place to stay, or even when I miscarried his child due to the stress he and others put me under then helped him deal with it rather than helping myself.
arissa_jade: Losing my damn mind here. It wouldnt be so bad if i had a place to go but im stuck in the middle of a sibling fight. I either wish people would call back about the places or find a way to rent somethng in town that doesnt cost an arm and a leg
arissa_jade: Well looks like I'm gonna have a new addition to the family after tonight. Have a dog my son brought over for his supervisor so we could watch her. Last week she looked healthy and was a happy well adjusted dog last week is now gunshy (flinching at every little noise), can barely stand without shaking in fear not to mention jumpy as hell. (My son's supervisor's gf has a history of abusive behavior to her bf and other male coworkers) So I'm building trust back with the dog and I will protect it with my life as its my spirit animal ,If they think their getting their dog back they got another thing coming!
arissa_jade: Headed out under the trailer. If I don't respond its because i'm literally in the middle of the trailer helping to hook up water lines
arissa_jade: Had my stalker try to trick me into revealing where I chat online tonight. A male stalker would be preferrable because I would have a clue as to why they would stalk but wht do you do when the stalker is a 6osome yr old woman?
She thinks she has to know everything I do, every moment of the day and omg if I should make friends with anyone but her. *rolls eyes*
She has followed me into just about every group I'm in on FB, calls my phone and leaves messages if she can't raise me up on FB, Instagram, andTwitter. She has stalked the few friends I talk to regularly on social media. I feel like i'm being suffocated If she had a clue I was on Pinterest, Patreon, Second Life and Wireclub here she's follow me here..
Too mortified to post anything on FB which would accidently reveal I am trying to have a life outside of writing as she is usually the first to comment next to those in my family who have opinions on everything I do.