What do you think about genderfluid people? (Page 8)
flappes_flappy_ears: Here's a story, which I believe is what started everything off. When I was 12, nearly 13, my mother said something about going outside in the garden. It was early March, and very cold. So my mother mentioned it, and I said , "I don't know, it's a bit cold isn't it?" And she said "oh for God's sake!" and I said what? and she put her head in her hands and said "you're too soft!" and I said "well I'd rather be soft than hard" (I had always been a bit behind mentally and liked somewhat girlish things, I'd never been a very boyish boy) and she said "no you're a man you've got to be tough" I had never heard her say anything like this before, and I still don't know why she said it. I know this sound quite irrelevant to the subject matter, but it was certainly what made me lose trust in my mother. A few years later, not long after my 16th birthday, I realised something was different about me, and I wondered if I was trans. However, I wasn't 100% sure, and slept on it for a while. Then about a year later, I googled something, and saw a forum about genderfluid people sharing their stories/feelings etc. I realised this is what I was. I worked out I was about 60% female & 40% male. I stayed about the same throughout 2017/18, however this year I feel about 85% female, and think I'm probably trans. I hate being referred to by male pronouns as a result, and usually refer to myself as they. I changed my hair over easter, and certainly look more female, however weirdly my mother hasn't realized. I live in a very irritating sexist environment, where my mother is always saying things like "that's more a man's thing" or "those are girls things" etc. and due to the gender stereotypes that seem completely outdated, I feel completely miserable as a result. I tried to tell my mother last christmas, but she completely misunderstood, and seemed to think I was talking about mental problems or something. My stepfather is also very bigoted with lbtq+ people. He is another reason, as he's always saying things to my mother like: why are you carrying that? Nick will do that, he's twice as strong as you (I'm not actually,he's just exaggerating I'm actually weaker). And for some reason, in everything I do/say my mother is always looking for stereotypical male reasons why I'd be doing something. I mean like I help her to do something, she thinks it's something about respecting women, not simply wanting to help. I was brought up in this gendered environment. I honestly don't know what to do next.
Anyhow, this is my story.
(Edited by flappes_flappy_ears)
Scarcastic: Flappes, I'm sorry you have to deal with such a toxic environment, I can relate a lot to some parts of your story. I've had to listen while my dad launched into an hour long rant about how he thinks "transgender people are the dumbest people on earth" etc. The truth is, in many cases it's a phobia, they are afraid of what they don't understand, and instead of trying to embrace it they hate it because it's scary to them, which is sad. At the same time, I have also seen my dad set aside his homophobia though, when an openly gay neighbour was crying because he got a phone call that his father was dying, my dad actually went over and hugged him and encouraged him until he stopped crying, right out beside the road while cars were driving by, I was shocked to see it because I know it was very uncomfortable for my dad, he doesn't even like hugs, but my dad's father had passed away the year before so he related to the neighbour and it touched him, and really my dad is a very caring person at heart, so he set aside his phobias to go over and try to help. It was really touching to see, and made me realise that not every homophobic person really has a hateful heart, some just ignorant and afraid. Still, I know how hard it is to be in a family that doesn't know and wouldn't understand/want to accept who you are. I've never told anyone in my family that I'm genderfluid. Just know that you're not alone, because regardless if your family gets it or not, there are others out there who do
Angry Beaver: You also have to realise that people of my generation (baby boomers) were raised in a different time and although we have tried to be different to our own parents, we still have a lot of mental baggage which was imposed on us as children, I support my son 100% but still struggle saying he and him, it's not disrespect, just a mindset that I need to alter.
Leda Muir: In the past you were scandalous if you said I'm homosexual or genderfluid. I am a Millenial and since I was 14 bisexual but the respect for people with a other sexuality grew and when I was 16 we had at school a show where I played in and had to kiss a girl which turned a bit else than expected because I was from wow more and kissed her deeply.
It isn't such disaster so genderfluid is for me ok because it is only dress and act to the opposite gender