I have a gambling problem

YourLocalNun: I have become so obsessed with poker... I cannot stop. Please help

Samantha (YLN)

OrangeBowl: Gamblers Anonymous, check online

YourLocalNun: thanks x

LastWish Catfish: Wire poker is not gambling in the true sense of the word. But if this is the game you are obsessed with then I would seek help immediately as you are probably clinically depressed.

YourLocalNun: It really degrades me when I see my poker chips run out... I get sad

LastWish Catfish: Unfortunately the only real cure for depression is suicide but on a more positive note you can currently buy a strong rope from ebay for 50% off. Glad I could help.

YourLocalNun: you have been ever so helpful, see you on the other side

LastWish Catfish: Argos on Union Street also have a huge clearance sale on so take a walk over there and buy yourself a granite headstone before you go.

YourLocalNun: Do they do custom inscriptions.. I'd like to leave a little bit in there about my devoted cat and goldfishes?

LastWish Catfish: Your cat will move on and your goldfish will forget about you within seconds so don't worry.

YourLocalNun: dammit.

LastWish Catfish:

YnR_Retired: gamblings for noobs. if u gamble, ur a newbie

YourLocalNun: Oh are you all curtailing me now?

YnR_Retired: no u noob

briansmythe: yeah my strawberry plant is not very well I tried putting it in the sun but that has not helped what shall I do

briansmythe: sorry thought it said gardening room

YourLocalNun: Even though you were trolling. I heard a watery sugary solution is sometimes the solution... don't over-water as saturation is terrible for a strawberry and a low temperature is not good either !. However my father was a Gardner with 1st class honours on a bachelor degree. However rest his soul as he cannot help us. We had a full pollytunnel of strawberries and sold them together when we were young and gave them out for free also, thanks for making me reminisce We had drips going into tomato grow bags and them on raised stilts. It was rather marvellous and we harvested up to 5 batches from each plant... Us punters eh! Oh those were the days... I went out strawberry picking with my granny (polish only now) we'd eat the majority of strawberries instead of picking them. We got in trouble loads... but one time we got kicked off the place haha

LastWish Catfish: Thank you my local nun. I've searched the world for a solution to my strawberry dilemma. I may now be able to rest assured that this summer a bumper harvest awaits me. Praise the lord.

YourLocalNun: funny thing is I still grow the remaining strawberries and have little knowledge! I will post some pictures up

LastWish Catfish: What do you know about aubergines? I inquired via email at the Blue Peter offices but thus far I have received no reply on the best way to grow them.

briansmythe: Oh thanks your local nun u got me I read it and thought it did say gardening , but then I started reeding the commenets and went ahead any way, But thank you

YourLocalNun: aubergines I know little of as i am currently confined without much usage of knowledge of receiving them. I haz no phone, no laptop and certainly no means of external communications!!!!

gregkob: Try having more sex

LastWish Catfish: Gardeners don't have sex. We dig holes rather than fill them ok.

Wonderbunny: I can't get the hang of the poker game and have amassed loads of chips. Will you teach me?