Tips and suggestions for the removal of sand from sensitive orifices

Geoff: This is apparently a rather widespread problem, so if anyone has any sanitary tips on the removal of grains of dry sand from sensitive orifices, then please share your tips.

Aura: Bidet works wonders...

Geoff: I suppose if someone doesn't have access to a bidet, they could achieve the same result with a garden hose.

Mz Demeanor: the garden hose might be a bit of overkill for the sand but move it to another orifice and get a thorough removal/enema.

Geoff: Yeah, I suppose when the sand is probably wedged in said orifice by either the additional stick or perhaps just because it's somewhere that doesn't get much regular use the garden hose might be underpowered.

Having successfully removed almost half a tonne of mud from a van with one, I can personally recommend the Karcher pressure washer for such situations.

Mz Demeanor: Oh yeah, bring in the big guns ---the pressure washer. That should definitely do the trick. However, the stick removal may require a surgical procedure though. I'm not sure what would do the trick for those with a head stuck up an orifice though. Might be a hopeless case.

Geoff: Yes, one can only hope they go deeper and deeper until they disappear into a singularity.

Aura: why am i getting "snake eating it's tail" images now? kind of unrelated...

Mz Demeanor: the ultimate self-absorption?

Mz Demeanor: back to the sand, if the sand was left in the sensitive orifice for a long time, what do you think the chances are that it may produce a pearl?

Geoff: I think it's far more likely to result in some form of infection. Whether bacterial or fungal depends on the source of the sand.

Aura: No mother of pearl.
But, with certain individuals, if it happens not to be sand but coal, you can find diamond dust I'm sure.