Can you even neglect everything ?

TheSpirits
TheSpirits: I've been questioning myself for ages why I always care about other people, what they do and what they've done to me. I know that if I had a cold heart, I wouldn't be sad. I'm trying to force myself not to care about those people that cheated on me but I really can't do it. They're always in my heart , they haunt my mind. How can I freeze my heart ? Please help !
8 years ago Report
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EraseThisFace
EraseThisFace: You can't shut off emotions. The best a person can do is work through the hurt, eventually coming to a place of moving forward.

You might want to go into specifics as to not receive vague answers.
8 years ago Report
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TheSpirits
TheSpirits: Thank you.
I'd better follow your advice by telling my true story.
I have this best friend. He and I were very close. We even had a bromance. I mean, at the first time I'm not a kind of person that's easy to make friend with. But he came to me as a friend without conditions. He talked to me and solved my every problem. He cared about me a lot. It took a long time for me to begin caring about him too. I thought we were about to get closer and closer but everything went wrong. Last month, I had a fight with his friend. She was dating me. But I found out that she was a cheater. When the fight was going on, she called my best friend and asked him to be on her side. She acted as if I were the one who cheated on her. It was kind of pathetic. My friend said he had nothing to do with her problem. I thought he didn't care at all. But after the fight, he began to avoid me. I tried to talk to him but he just responded with very short words. And I had the feeling that the look he gave me implied that I was the bad guy. I wanted to explain everything to him and tell him that she was the very person who cheated. But he didn't say anything at all, he didn't say that he didn't trust me. He simply doesn't wanna be friend anymore. I was really down. I did everything to get him back without success. Now I just don't wanna think about it anymore but I don't know how to erase it from my mind. I'm still really sad.
8 years ago Report
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EraseThisFace
EraseThisFace: Well the easy and ideal thing would be able to "erase it from [your] mind." The reality is, you can't. So what can you do that may make this a bit easier?

You've received a heavy blow - being betrayed by a girlfriend, and losing a friend right after the other. Keep in mind this happened roughly a month ago, so naturally the wound is still fresh, and in turn will take time to move past this.

Try some distractions. If there's something you've wanted to do, and haven't gotten the chance or have been putting it off, pursue that. Do something you normally wouldn't, that you find enjoyable or that can relieve stress/anger/frustration (in a healthy way of course). Be patient with yourself.

This suggestion may sound corny, but another option is to write down how you feel. Even write a note to him, her, or just him telling him/them exactly what you think, how you feel. Of course the letter will never reach them - it is for your use only.

Next time try not to make efforts to get a person back who can so easily dispose of you. The relationship between these two doesn't sound too healthy from what you've said, to be honest.
8 years ago Report
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TheSpirits
TheSpirits: thank you , the idea of writing down feeling is really nice.
The reason why I try to get him back because before that we sometimes had disagreements but he was the one who apologized and rearranged everything between us.
8 years ago Report
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Jnoel
Jnoel: This kinda reminds me of Metallica - the unforgiven.
8 years ago Report
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TheSpirits
TheSpirits: What's that ? A song ?
8 years ago Report
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Jnoel
Jnoel: yes it is a song
8 years ago Report
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soundingboard9
soundingboard9: Hey "TheSpirits"! Its been ten days since you were given some great advice from "erasethisface". I was wondering if there have been any updates in your story? Do you feel better? What have you done about your situation? (Nothing is an acceptable answer)
8 years ago Report
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flying carpet
flying carpet: IT is fact that happens with every single person. even though ,for ten or fifteen days every pretend like you. then one day, a new girl with pretty face downpasses your heart ..for six month it remain stable ,,alas!

one day( after six months) you again will be writing this thread again in a new sencenic mode.
man! "it is phrase that nothing is impossible if you wish" and memeories are never erased .it is just to teach someone a new lesson.so how can you say that she did everything and she is responsible for every situation. out of 100%, you have contributed 40 and she did rest 60 percent.

so be like a man.because men never cry. so do not ashame us.
8 years ago Report
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dilip1988
(Post deleted by staff 8 years ago)
Cage_Alien
Cage_Alien: flying carpet :"men never cry so do not ashame us" what kind of bullshit is that ??!! Men that have feelings cry like any other human and i doubt your words helped a single bit...

TheSpirits I know how it feels to loose a "friend" .. but if he was a true friend he would stick by you. It's really hard to get past it but it does fade some how with time. It can be good to talk about things when that is needed or write about it as well as trying to distract one self. I wish i could really erase some things as well.. too much memories just.. kills
8 years ago Report
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hip ster
(Post deleted by staff 8 years ago)
hip ster
(Post deleted by staff 8 years ago)
roseboyd14
roseboyd14: He also, probably didnt want to be dragged to either side. maybe you should give him some time.... if he hasnt already come around.
8 years ago Report
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