Emotional abuse is worst of all threats ...... (Page 2)
Taylor777: @Uglycow,very good advice indeed. Ive tried giving the same advice but i guess it depends on the source
dionowens58: My take. Women get emotionally abused because they prejudge men while searching for a mate, or someone to at least spend time with. Most women swear that they can predict what a man can/will do by just looking at them. That's the first step in getting yourself into an abusive relationship. That's something you women should never do. And when women are wrong about the man that they choose, women want to blame everyone and everything but themselves. Women have to learn that sometimes, it is the most hated man in the pack, that is going to be the nicest to you. And the moment women learn how to settle, is the moment that emotionally abusive relationships will decline.
dionowens58: That's why it is important to tediously find the right man. A whole lot of people complain when women are too picky. That's what you supposed to be. Being picky is what going to get you the right man when it is all set and done. Another thing women have to do a lot is travel. 80% of the time, when women try to find a man in their neighborhoods, they are setting themselves up for disappointment. Listening to your personal friends, and staying docile is also a problem. The more & the further you travel, the more respectable men women can come across.
Springrain7549: I'm recovering from this as are many. It's very tough to get through, never mind heal. Unfortunately, the comments that were made towards you are what linger, sometimes even four years later, they can sting. With God, I am healing, but it's a very slow process....and it affects every part of you. I trust only a select few like family, and let even less in. It hurts deeply when you are told the same repetitive thing over and over, and if given it enough, you stop believing the good things people say. It leaves no visible scars, unlike physical abuse, but I think it honestly hurts worse and deeper.
I'm hoping to see the day that emotional/mental/physical/sexual abuse fades from our lives but I'm not sure when that occur, if even in our lifetimes. Even on a computer, it can occur although easier to prove. This can tear families apart, marriages tend to dissolve, and it scars children, sometimes for life. The tongue is powerful, I tell ya.
uglycow10: LAWMAKERS ARE GOING FROM THE STUPID TO THE SUBLIME.
EXACTLY HOW DOES ONE ENFORCE LAWS AGAINST EMOTIONAL ABUSE????
IT IS NOT EVERYTHING WHICH CAN BE LEGISLATED!.
Below is my take on emotional abuse....
Once you arrive at a sense of self and truly understand who you are, and how you want to be treated....therein lies your strength!. Most individuals have more intestinal fortitude than they themselves think.
Also, there is nothing like a solid friend or family member standing by your side to encourage you and to show you how to keep things in perspective.
I personally have learned, at the ripe old age of "ole ladyhood", that everyone has an opinion, and that unless it is a reasonable and fairly well thought- out and balanced one....DO NOT EVER ACCEPT ANY NEGATIVE OPINION THAT ANYONE HAS OF YOU.
You are the president of the acceptance committee when it comes to opinions about yourself...and it is a lifetime office/position !!!
For the emotional bully,negative press, in the way of uncomplimentary opinions, is one of their major tools that they use in their effort to crush your self-esteem, and to bring you to your knees.
if you truly know yourself, you will never accept any of that rubbish from them.....
Remember....you are the president of the club of opinions !!!
TAKE TIME TO KNOW YOURSELF.. MOST IMPORTANT, TAKE TIME TO UNDERSTAND THE EMOTIONAL GAMES THAT PEOPLE PLAY....ESPECIALLY THE WEASELS WHO TAKE PLEASURE IN TOYING WITH YOUr EMOTIONS...just a thought.
When I, myself experienced that total epiphany....I felt liberated and triumphant....a true Goliath, of sorts......
Take it from this ole broad, there are lots of emotional bullies out there, and the quicker you learn to beat them at their own game....the better off you will be.
Once I understood the bully's game, I learned to play it well. NO longer was I willing to be brought to my knees in tears; humiliated & beaten down emotionally.
I became a gladiator and fought a good fight ...like a female Spartacus...and you too, can do it.
Time to rise like a Phoenix from the ashes of emotional degradation and and abuse and shame..
Charge into the New Year of 2017 like a fiery bull, running the streets of Pamplona, Spain...crushing everything in it's path
Be a force to be reckoned with!
And on that note, lets have a drink !
I raise my glass to to all of the downtrodden , emotionally abused men and women out there. Grow some balls and get ready for the good fight
Learn what it is like to be victorious and to feel triumphant.
Throw off that coat of self-pity and don the mantle of Goliath, of Spartacus...
BOTTOMS UP & HAPPY NEW YEAR!
khanabuzzed: i done it for years and i have so much regret, i didnt realize how much i was hurting someone and i just couldnt stop, i stalked her for years and theres no excuse. i just wish back then the damage i caused and the time i took she wouldnt have to deal with my shit. i'm sorry.
(Edited by khanabuzzed)
uglycow10: I hope that you were able to express your regrets
to her in person. It is quite heartening to hear that you had an epiphany and eventually realized what emotional damage you might have caused her.
Unfortunately, most stalkers never see the light and wind up hurting their victims.
At 17, I was stalked by a stranger who called my job every day.. and sent flowers every day.. then when I ignored him, he had his friends call me...then I got threatened with death!
When I told my coworkers, they refused to be out in public with me.
Thus, that person affected not just me, but also my friends
So once more, I am glad that you have some sort of remorse, because the victim is usually scarred forever!
...but hey, we should always hope for change.
Thanks for sharing.
TheCovenant: Those who claim that emotional abuse is the worst kind of abuse do little service to those who have lived in countries with death squads, countries with no constitution where the police control the hospitals courts and government. Countries that incarcerate political dissidents in mental institutions, countries where the police sue the government for fat judgments all the while denying those same avenues to the public. All those who have not faced a death squad please stop complaining and leave the room.
kittybobo34: Wow, we went from emotional abuse from personal relationships to death squads. You have an odd mind Covenant.
TheCovenant: My apologies. Emotional abuse is pervasive and no laughing matter. It is easy to do, hard to defend against and even harder to litigate against. People seem to dismiss its effects because there is little or no visible harm, and often condone it for a variety of reasons. People in positions of responsibility often condone it or dismiss it as a humorous event, and do little to prevent it. It is a wonderful form of character assassination which shuts down discourse and hides the reality of the situation from ever coming to light.
uglycow10: TO COVENANT:
I totally agree with you.
One of my favourite shows is, "The ID chanel"
There are so many re-enacments of men, women & children being emotionally abused on a daily basis. ...and when they can no longer endure it, they will re-act by either harming themselves...or the abuser.
In the instances where the victim reacts, the ending is almost always the same. The person who was being methodically & constantly abused on a daily basis, winds up behind bars. Why is that?????
The reason is, as you say....how does one prove emotional abuse? While you stand in court in perfect, physical condition, how do you prove your emotional abuse? How do you weigh that emotional abuse, versus your reaction of delivering serious bodily harm to the abuser/bully.. even sometimes reacting by murdering them ????
How do you prove that it was warranted?
MY observation of the court proceedings is that the emotionally abused person is totally villified...and the abuser is held up as a saint.
Emotional abuse is a form of bullying... and the only way to deal with bullies is to react with force and to get in their face. Unfortunately, that reaction surfaces only after years of abuse, and at the point where the abused can no longer endure the humiliation and their reaction will either be impromptu...or planned.
SHAME ON ALL THOSE WHO DELVE OUT ABUSE, WHETHER IT BE PHYSICAL OR EMOTIONAL. THEY ARE ALL BULLIES TO THE BONE. !!!!
Ang3lBlaz3: I wouldn't even give someone the chance to abuse me emotionally, because at the first sign, that first feeling that i get that its happening i would would walk away and never look back. You cant be anyone's fool, screw that. You deserve better. I'm too old for mind games. Everything in my life has to feel healthy. If it doesnt i dont need it!
TheCovenant: I felt the same way about bullying, its a useless unproductive activity that simply makes the world a worse place. Then I got a pick me up and I was so happy, because bullies never prosper.
Mopar2004: Find ur base, the place you have where u are solid(no one and nothing can diffuse it)
Go there when u are being told....u are nothing.
It's a song, a phrase, a poem, a person ,a memory, a feeling, a picture, your self worth(in your eyes? For a change). That's what's up. That's your Brick wall!
Mopar2004: I talked to someone today who thought that , 'knowing if your child was going to be retarded, deformed, sick with a disease or genetically different ...would be a good thing' . My response? What a boring, perfect world it would be.
This also pertains to those of us who think we are not worth anyone's compassion. Because we are overweight, Not blond, not smart, cant walk, cant see, Not PERFECT. Let me give u some insight. Everyone has flaws. EVERYONE.
We are who we are. Accept it , convict yourself to fight for it.
I, personally, love being around ppl who dont have a perfect persona