JSimone: Hey I'm a 21 year old woman living in Belmopan. i am a incest survivor and right now i feel isolated because everyone is talking about it but not doing anything about it. Yes women's group are in our country but do we have a group that deals with molestation. I mean molestation do have a long term effect which I'm correctly going through but who in this country is a professional that deals with people like me. Many people have been molested in the past and currently are being molested but what is being done to help them? i have been molested from age 5-14 & it had affected me in my life that you guys wouldn't imagine. I have sexual issue, intimacy issues, anger issues and a lot more. I know I'm not the only one going through this. They may be some that are but don't know why because they block out the past but the effects of molestation stands example women who have been abused by their partner and still stand beside them. They is a reason for that behavior which is either the woman have been molested in her past or the way she was raised during childhood so that's what she is familiar with women stay in abusive relationship for so many reason but if they have been molested that is the main reason for their behavior. which is why i say molestations have its effects because the person becomes codependent. I didn't know something was wrong with me until i started to have a healthy relationship which I can't do properly because of my effects. Its hard to explain myself about my life writing it but what i mostly wanted to say that I was looking for a group that people talk about their molestation and the way it has affected them and the challenges they face. I want to be some where that women open up about their life because it will greatly improve my healing. Currently I'm reading the book the courage to heal if you will Google it the information is there also if u Google effects of incest all the information is there. Even if i have to create the group i will but then again I'm scared to open up my secret and other people don't open up then everyone will know about me so I'm asking if there is a place that someone can help me with my issues I am already getting help but I need more options the more the better for me. thank you for reading.
sugarshorts: I know what your going through i was molested from 3 to 7 then raped by my brother at 11 all I can say is dont stuff everything deep inside like I did cuz you will blow sooner or later. Take the relationship slow and make sure the other person understandes your issues just dont dwell on it it's not our fault it happend and it is devastating but life is good and it does get easier. add me if you want and I'll be here for you as much as i can
RayOliver: I'm a male but can still relate.
I was molested by a sibling from my earliest memory (about age 3) to the age 13. I am in my 40's now and it is just this year that my issues finally made their way out. One thing for certain...if you hold it in...it will find a leak...but you don't have control over when unless you take control and steer your ship through the fog.
I have been professional help now for months and it's still a hard struggle to cope with each day.
I am in the midst of a collapse of my world. My wife is leaving me. My closest friends are all going through their own muck right now and my family is now rocking because I opened a can that was long overdue.
To say the least: I'm a mess.
I hold it together because I know that I will get through this. I have come to learn a few coping methods and realize some things now that I wasn't so sure of not very long ago.
Before you can heal...you must have a wound.
Before you can let those things that will complete you into your heart...you must have a broken heart...otherwise it is not open to receive.
growth = change
change = discomfort
discomfort = pain
What you feel for pain is a part of growth. The experiences you have with your current upset and struggles is building a set of tools to help you through your next struggle.
You have to be able to consider that the pain and hurt you experience is a part of what will make you the person you intend to be. Without that pain and hurt the lessons are not set as strong nor received fully.
The amount of pain and hurt you feel is relative to how much you love and feel. It's not an entirely bad thing to feel the way you do. It is understandably difficult and often seems overhwleming...but keep focus on the fact...fact...that you will feel better in time...once a new norm is set and you've reprogrammed yourself to be the new you.
Hang in there...we all need each other through the tough times...and you're an integral part of the chain.
samanthareina: I have found a few friends in here that I have been able to talk to about it. I like what RayOliver wrote. I have read it a few times and each time I get something new. I am still in the hating life and everyone stage, hurting all the time, angry at everyone but who deserves it. I watch tv, I cry. Hear a song, I cry. I had no idea my body had so many tears inside it.
Keep trying, keep reaching out and you will make that connection. Yeah, you will find some flakes and pervs, but that isn't your problem. Just take care of you, and then you will start to help others without even knowing it.
Plumpcherry: And don’t listen to people who tell you ‘everyone go through it get ove yourself and stop seeking attention’.
Those are negative people.
Stop and care for yourself. There’s a lot of good advice here. Hope you over come your struggles. You are not to blame for it either.