How to act more interested and not "prepare" to talk?

electronic101
electronic101: One of the reasons I have I trouble making friends is because when I want to say something to show my interest in something, I don't sound like I'm really interested and I think it's because I prepare a few seconds or minutes beforehand, due to my shyness and/or anxiety, to express interest.

I'll give an example if you don't understand. Say it's break time at school and some other guy's listening to a song that you love. In your head, you're thinking something like "Ohhhhh. It's that amazing song I love...from the amazing rapper...I should get up and go bond with that guy who's listening, we have something in common, maybe we can become friends." But first you sit down and prepare for what you're going to say, but because you waited too long, by the time you get there and say that to him, it doesn't sound like you're really interested and it no longer sounds natural and feels like you forced yourself to say that so you could just converse with that person.

Does anyone understand what I'm saying? How can I stop this habit? In the case of the example, when someone first starts up the song, that's when I should express interest to the guy listening, by saying it out loud so it seems more natural, right?
10 years ago Report
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GinnyTx
GinnyTx: Oh High School, what an anxiety ridden time!!

Now I was/am balzy, my daughter even more (class of '07) she'd had the similar situation happen and went right up to him in the cafeteria slid into a stool and popped one of his ear buds in her ear!! and rocked on!! they were great friends for three years, one of the gang..then they hooked up with the guy two years ago (I consider him a son now) that she did this with in HS her soph year..so one never knows..he'd wanted to hook up and HE was too scared! but it works now..

Nothing ventured nothing gained but I want to let you know that fear never leaves..even at 48 and single for 5 years now, I think reading the person and honesty helps. People are different, more assertive here..but even then just to let you know even assertive people have fear of rejection, we just go on..just don't let it cripple you.
10 years ago Report
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Coffrey
Coffrey: Yeah, I agree with ginny, just go for it. Even if it turns out goofy, goofy is a good ice breaker
9 years ago Report
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