Im cheating and I can't stop! (Page 10)
AnaRita: I can not see people given the same opportunity to their partner to cheat. I can see that everyone wants to cheat..but do not to be cheated on. You are free to choose what you want to do, but you are not free from the consequence of your choices. So many have double personality. They want that they want..but don't want to be on the outre side. It is like wanting to be free to do what you want and but restrict the others to do what they want.
Ex... many like to go around have fun (Screwing, Cheating) but if his or her partner do the same they don't like a bit and they go ape assaulting the partner many times happened.
I was on a chat and one man told me if I would go out with him. I asked him if he was in a relationship for which he answer yes. I only asked him.. do you allow you partner to do the same you are doing here. He answer faster than before: she does not need to be here I give her what she wants. I asked again... do you allow her o do this...he told me what she does not know the better for her..
Like this man say.... you can do it to some one ..but forget doing it to him or to any of you to whom cheating is a game.
Pay attention, if it is a game both sides win and loose..so one day you can loose more than you think. You only know what you loose when you loose for ever.
Arguments that where valid during in the dark ages are not necessary applying today.
If you don`t like to be cheated on, don`t cheat makes you an hypocrite.
The Star: Cheating is a Cheap .
and what make it more a cheaper is know the reason behind it .Uninterruptible water could come back again, but may not be safe to drink
kittyfriendly: It is not worth it. It is hard to have sex with someone and not feel connected somehow. Feelings and deep emotions are bound to be involved. Save yourself the trouble and heartache you will cause yourself and others.
xolaurenxo: Cheaters are people who fail at life, can't even keep ya genitals in ya pants, what else have you fucked up
christina16bb: It is hard sometimes when you have the impulse and you are a sex adict. I know you people don't get it.
YewFookHur: Have to tried to open him up with the topic of swinging. a swap? real couples only and by the end of the night the two of you go home with each other and make love again (just the two of you) unless "You" don't like sharing. Just a suggestion.
nashhanblue: Monogomy is overrated and it is absurd as well. Human beings keep forgetting the fact that we are animals and how much ever we have developed over centuries, our basic instincts remain the same. As long as you dont cheat and hurt someone on purpose, anything is fine. You can fall in love many number of times. Its a chemical reaction and like every other hormonal reaction in our system, after a certain point of the same feeling repeating itself, you grow resistant to it. Same with people whom we are with. Some times the relationships are so strong and mutual, that the bond grows strong and you still feel the same way for the person when you first met or kissed or had sex with. But eventually your system grows out of it. I am not saying that there are no long term relationships, but people always find more reasons to be attracted to each other other than just sex. Like children etc etc. It is only human and natural to seek a new challenge, a new experience. This is, like I mentioned earlier, a basic instinct. Other than opting to the option of cheating, I would suggest that you talk to your partner and discuss about possible options, trying new things, spice up your relationship..if nothing works, move on. Its bloody one life we get and one chance to live it. Live it happily. Each ones situation is different and no one has the right to judge anyone based on anything. People do things based on what pleases them. Peace..
I am NOT a weenie: We are sentient animals. This means we have a concept of right and wrong. We have the ability to consider whether or not our actions will hurt another person. A cheater is a selfish coward, always a selfish coward.
spenskys: i think what makes people great is their ability to be different.... so choose to love one person some choose to love many some choose to love the same sex some choose to love all... in the end its non of your business because it doesnt effect you! so mind your own stop telling anyone or anywho whats "natural"
I am NOT a weenie: spenskys: I don't know who you're responding to, but I hope you understand the difference between cheating on a person and being nonexclusive. Lying to someone, telling them they are the only one, and then being intimate with others, is not an act of love. It's an act of cowardice and disrespect. Far different from the notion of polyamory.
I am NOT a weenie: I don't lie to myself either. If you love someone, you won't cheat on them. Polyamory means to love many, openly and honestly. The concept of polyamory requires honesty, it requires that all persons involved are aware that their relationship is not exclusive. I have more respect for that than a person who sneaks around behind someone's back. A person doesn't cheat on someone if they love that person. If you believe otherwise, I would suggest it is you who doesn't understand what love is.
Archangel FTW: Like every other human created concept, there are circumstances that make the generalization of what is correct and incorrect morally, difficult to apply. I have been cheated on and take part of the responsibility for not being there enough for my ex-partner because of other commitments..Although she could have been honest to me and broken up before cheating; if she met someone who made her happy (she's been with this guy for years and they have children) then I say they should be following what they feel is right for them instead of feeling like they can't because of fear of ridicule and degradation.
When your cheating spouse is victimised because you've been hurt it makes me wonder if anyone here who's pro-disparagement to enforce conformity, really has been cheated on? Why would you want someone that you apparently love to feel bad?
nashhanblue: It hurts to find so many people being hypocritical about things and bringing out the topic of Morality. Like someone had discussed, morality and other aspects around it have evolved over a period of time and that is associated to social behaviour, meaning what everyone wants to do and what everyone is OK with. What was considered morally correct in the roman times is considered absolutely immoral in our times. For instance, Incest relationships or prostitution were absolutely legal in earlier times and in our days, we condemn them. Bisexuality was also very common but we find it strange in our time, though we are coming to terms with things slowly, we are far from the actual understanding. This is an issue contributed by religions, which brought forth a certain dogma and branded anyone who did not believe in it or obey it without questioning to be blasphemous. What is moral and not moral is purely in your head and like I had earlier mentioned, as long as you dont hurt anyone willingly, do as you please.I dont think there is a single person in this forum or in the world, who has not lied to his/her partner. People might defend by saying that this was a soft lie and it did not hurt, but for some, a lie might be a moral failure. So imagine that you call all those people who say that their girlfriends/boyfriends are not fat, when in reality they are round and chubby, to be immoral and liars. Another example of immorality can also be watching porn or masturbating. 99% of men accept to masturbating and 1% lie that they dont. Its as simple as that. Morality can be used very many ways and it is in each ones head.
I am not interested in defending the ones who are cheating, but like Archangel above has pointed out, it is a question of circumstances and situations. There is no rule that you have to live with someone though you are extremely unhappy. I have seen elderly couple do that and live such a frustrated life and die unhappily. All that matters is to be true to ones self. The best solution to every problem is to talk to your loved one. If you think that love is failing, try to introspect. Dont listen to argue. Listen to understand. If things dont work, dont push yourself to the limit of cheating on someone. For some, cheating is for fun. For some cheating in the sign of a much serious issue. They are probably trying to punish their partner since they are being taken for granted or made to feel unloved. Its always better to talk it out.
I am NOT a weenie: Archangel FTW: I say that cheating is an act of cowardice because the person is clinging to something false, and something that is in their eyes, less than fulfilling. I'm not sure why the only alternative to cheating that you can see is to stay with someone who doesn't make you happy.
I am NOT a weenie: The only honest course of action would be to end the relationship, before starting a new one. Or to at least, as you suggested, let your partner in on how you are feeling, and then take things from there. People cheat because they don't have the nerve to face their partner, to possibly face that conflict, because they are afraid to hurt that person, or in some cases, a person cheats because they don't want to lose the person they are with, should they ever be at risk of ending up alone. Fear all around, cowardice all around, selfishness all around.