The "Pretend You're A Crazy Person That Rants In The Science Forum" Thread
There are reports from credible government sources that turtles are actually space aliens.
NASA has known for decades that turtles are actually from the planet Frunobulax in the Areola Galaxy. They have come here to Earth to save mankind from itself. Turtles are actually the most intelligent, most technologically advanced beings in the universe. Turtles have pure souls, and they want nothing but for us to be happy and peaceful.
Turtles actually have a civilization here on Earth, but they are so technologically advanced that they have "turtle holographic cloaking (THC) technology that allows their cities to remain invisible as they hover above the surface of Earth. They have Landing Surface Digital (LSD) technology that allows them to cross back and forth between invisible hovering and visible crawling.
The High Commander Thomas "Tommy" Turtle, Supreme Commander in Chief of all the Terrestrial Turtle Peace Army, has revealed himself to world leaders, and will soon announce to the world that turtles move among us, and that Earth people will soon have everlasting peace and justice.
All world leaders are aware of Turtles, but the world leaders are fearful of losing their dominance over mankind. They are unwilling to relinquish their dominance. They lie, kill, maim, and say bad words in their wish to remain in power.
They will fail.
There are those of us that are the Chosen Turtle Acolytes, and we will lead our Earth brethren in to the New Turtle Time!
We are powerful! We are strong!
Our attorneys are presently filing criminal indictments in the World Turtle Court in The Hague, Netherlands. All world leaders will be indicted for their crimes against humanity, and turtlity, too.
There exists a secret anti-turtle cabal that is trying to prevent this from happening.
They will fail.
As I type this, turtles are rounding up the evil Anti-Turtle cabal members.
Already under arrest:
Alexander The Great
… and thousands of others. Thousands of evil cabal members have already been arrested, and are being held in a sports arena in Milwaukee. They have been tied up in clothesline to hold them against escape.
You can view a live continuous webcast of the Milwaukee facility by going to www dot Livewebcastofmilwaukeefacility dot com.
When you go into your local bank on Monday, be prepared for a surprise. All bank personnel worldwide are cabal members, and all have been arrested. When you walk into your bank, you will find that it has been converted into a Turtle Currency Converstion Center. Your money is no longer worth anything. Feel free to just throw it away.
The Federal Reserve Bank has been renamed Turtle Reserve Amusement Park Headquarters. Turtles are currently converting all amusement parks worldwide to be able to accommodate turtles, as well as humans.
The US military has been converted into a Turtle Enforcement Armed Service. They no longer wear helmets, but rather, shells. The US Constitution was automatically amended today to accommodate this change. This occurred in the Library of Electoral College, and is in effect now.
This will all take place beginning at 8 AM GMT.
There is no need to thank me for providing this wonderful news, but if you feel the need, feel free to give this post a “like” thumb. Each thumb I receive will make a turtle somewhere have a turtle orgasm, so be nice, and thumb a turtle today!
DawnGurl: I represent the "Moon Dwellers Society" and we have scientific proof that humanoid type people are alive and well living on the moon. That crash at Roswell in 1947 was an escaped moon dweller. They have superior knowledge of the universe and the answer to all our pressing problems, including the solution to owning pain-free high heels.
Thank you for your post, DawnGurl. I appreciate that someone actually knows THE TRUTH!
Corwin: It has been widely reported that giant flying saucers are frequently landing outside of our major cities, and their alien occupants have been sighted unloading crate after crate of robot Big-Foots.
These robot Big-Foots have been responsible for everything from fluoridating our drinking water, to murdering all of the astronomers with knowledge of the approach of planet Nibiru.
They are also responsible for a recently initiated plot to render all of the water in our oceans undrinkable, and using chem-trails to render our atmosphere unbreathable at altitudes above 30,000 feet.
In other news, the Illuminati, in cahoots with a race of hyper-intelligent turnips, have been removing certain sensitive words from our vocabulary and dictionaries, so as to render their suspicious activities unknown to us. Even as we speak, you can no longer find the word "shkitzoplug" or "banzovoot" anywhere in the English language... they even have the power to remove these chosen words from our very memories!!
(The real crazies are so much better at this.)
(Edited by Corwin)
DawnGurl: Thanks for recognizing Truth SITS, and I will pass along this info to my Moon Dwellers Corvin. Did these robotic Big Feet have anything to do with 9-11? I understand there is an underground video of a large hairy "being" pushing one of the buildings over just before the 1st jet hit.
(Edited by DawnGurl)
lori100: I always suspected SpongeBob, but couldn't find enough evidence about him, he always seemed like such a creepy, evil sponge though........
Stop trolling my thread, you ignorant troll !!!!!!!!!!! Biggest troll on wireclub !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Keep your garbage off of my threads !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When you tell the secret truth shattering people's illusions , you get attacked, banned, harassed, this time with anti-turtle obscene sex videos!
(furiously reports lori100 over and over and over again)
I report many, nothing ever happens to them.....
“It is dangerous condemnation if liberty without investigation means to be the highest anything right when the government is the right to tell people what they do not want wrong to hear ignorance.”
— George Voltaire Einstein
Corwin: An elite team of scientists have just discovered that what we used to regard as ordinary house-flies are actually tiny robots sent from the future through tiny worm-holes in space-time, to record our every move for the benefit of future historians.
Washington DC, London, Moscow, Beijing and Tijuana were all destroyed yesterday in Illuminati New World Order nuclear detonations. As a result, the League of Galactice Hollow Earth Federated Space Nations Of The Universe (LGHEFSNU) has taken steps to prevent further action of the New World Order Illuminati Masonic Satanic Order of MoFos (NWOIMSOMF) from further blowing things up.
The NWOIMSOMF is, however, fighting back against the righteous cool funky actions of the LGHEFSNU, and have turned on their Electrostatic Polarity Inductive Brainwave Transmitting Generators (EPIBTG) worldwide, bathing the planet in a sheath of holographic hallucinations that make all of the Earth's people think that everything is okay.
It's not okay.
LGHEFSNU scientistst/priests are working tirelessly rid the world of these EPIBTGs, but as quickly as they can dismantle them, the NWOIMSOMF is able to grow new ones.
Citizens are urged by the LGHEFSNU to combat the effects of the NWOIMSOMF EPIBTGS by taking certain steps:
1. Line your shoes with aluminum foil. This blocks the wavelengths of the NWOIMSOMF EPIBTGs, and allows people to carry on without the deleterious effects of the EPIBTGs.
2. Limit your diet to potatoes. Potatoes have natural vibrations in thier cellular construction that effect the Electronic Aural Vibrational Destructive Wavelength Emanations (EAVDWE) produced by the EPIBTSs.
3. Sleep either for very short, or very long periods of time.
4. Never fart.
No need to thank me for this information. It is my duty.
DawnGurl: I think you're right SITS: Ive read similar reports from Spud Hopkins (notice the potatoe reference) and Witless Streiber.
Also I think wearing aluminum shoes is a better option (IMHO)
Geoff: In order to protect my ability to pass on unmutated genetic material, I have taken to wearing lead-lined asbestos underpants. These are proven to block the harmful radiation put out by Chinese psychic spies, venom from the snake headed aliens who are running the oil industry, and those pesky mole-men who successfully get past the Shaolin monks who work tirelessly in their Tibetan tunnels to keep us surface dwellers safe from the subterranean menace.
OCD_OCD: There's a menace down there? Dang. And here I thought the earth was hollow.
I'm going to have to start taking notes!
OCD_OCD: Since Obama and Romney are now on the Illuminati arrest list, will there even be an election? The end is near! I can smell sulphur and hear the thundering hooves of the Horsemen!!!!!!
Corwin: The CN Tower in Toronto Canada is actually an interstellar craft that landed there in 1973. The Galactic Overlords took up residence in the Ontario capital, while their fellow Galactic Overlords landed their sister ships in Niagara Falls (Skylon Tower), Calgary (Husky Tower), and even one across the border in Seattle (Space Needle) - which was the result of a slight miscalculation in landing trajectory and missed Vancouver.
The Overlords chose Canada as their base of operations, because they figured that Canada would be one of the only countries in the world who would be so drunk with beer and preoccupied with hockey that they would hardly notice the presence of giant interstellar spacecraft standing amidst their great cities.
The Galactic Overlords are now well entrenched in the Canadian political system, and are now merely waiting for the oil in the middle-east to dry up, making Canada and her vast oil reserves the worlds greatest superpower. Only then will they make their move at total world domination, and announce their presence to us all.
After which they will activate the Genesis Device... the purpose of which is still unknown.
Nathaniel Nirvana: Hey crazy but true ~ theres a couple of societies who claim a science basis...1s the flat earth society & the others the (not sure what they call themselves) lie down to save gravity society.
I joined the 2nd then I thought yeah, 2 birds 1 stone, laying down all the time...it'll save me falling off the flat earth anyhow.....so bargain!