No more f@KN Nice Girl (Page 2)

nellie77: yes thats right... but i'm learning to control "the taking advantage off"

hemiman1: Awesome. Just learn to say no.

nellie77: Thanks

authorj: Let me get this right. You would rather have an attitude than be nice to people? You are a very sad person.

nellie77: Who is one sad person Author J?
No one is suggesting not to be nice, its about being assertive and not being taken advantage of in Life...

And a bit of attitude is better than being walked all over in my eyes...

motherfingsuperwoman: Sadly too many people walk all over nice folks, and for some reason those nice folks let them a-holes get away with it again and again.

GreatGrammy: My thoughts are that sometimes giving is generous, sometimes it is selfish. Giving helps the receiver, but it also helps the giver. The giver's self image is elevated as they are now proven to be a generous and kind person. Being put upon can make you a wonderful martyr. The receiver, on the other hand, has been shown to be rather disorganized financially and maybe pathetic.

I'm not saying that this is your motivation, but are you sure that the receiver does not see it this way? They may well believe that the glory you received in the giving more than makes up for their need to repay you. They may even decide that your generosity was a gift.

Many years ago, I asked my Mother's advice on this very question. Her answer was; First, did they ask for your help or are you meddling? Second, if they asked for your help, that is the perfect opportunity to address how and when repayment should be expected.

I hope this advice helps you. It certainly helped me.

nellie77: Intersting viewpoints, but its not also about the money, its about people that want to suck evry ounce of your energy and sit back and complain how bad they have it in life...

I'm over it now, i just don't give to much of myself anymore, its called preservation, i don't want to sound too cynical of people cause i'm not perfect, but i'm just sick of being sucked dry...

authorj: Well, there comes a time when you need to put your foot down. When you see people walking on you or taking advantage of you, kick them to the curb. There are a lot of people who will like you for who you are.