No more f@KN Nice Girl nellie77: Damm i have this tendency to be nice, polite and all those good things, and i HATE this about myself, i tell myself to snap out of it and get an attitude or just be indiffernt.......... But i can't and its driving me crazy.... Is this my parents fault for raising me this way? or is something seriously wrong with me?  LiptonCambell: It depends how you manage your anger. I don't know you, so I don't know how rotten its gotten....  Kara_NZ26: I have an aunty who is the same as you. So chipper and lovely about everything and everyone. Sometimes I wish I was like that. Don't get down about it. Maybe you are the ray of sunshine for people when there is nothing but darkness. LiptonCambell: You wouldn't know if from how I act on here, but I've been told I'm really positive. Of course, I call this place "An Outlet"  dimlight_101: Hey im the same as you always optimistic and good mood. But really theres nothing wrong just dont let people walk over you. o and everyone once in awhile u gotta mess things up and give people the finger nellie77: thanks for the comments evry1, i suppose using the finger could work for some lol.... I think today is a new day and i'll just focus on not getting trampled on... I need to toughen up and not worry so much about peoples feelings so much.... nellie77: I feel so much better venting, it sure is an outlet Lipton, But actions speak louder than words and i'm going to ACTION it..... Morsy: You will have to protect yourself a bit because there are certain people that thrive on generous caring people.....it can wear you down, might no happen for years...but I stopped one day and said ok that's enough go feed off someone else. I havent changed because of it just more cautious. nellie77: Morsy it is wearing me down, its hard to change and be different. Being aware of peoples ulterior motives dosn't allways appear straight forward... Maybe i need to fake a poker face  LiptonCambell: >>>I need to toughen up and not worry so much about peoples feelings so much.... If you value peoples feelings, theres nothing wrong with acting this way- just don't put their feelings ahead of your own is all. nellie77: Don't put their feelings ahead of your own.... Aha maybe thats what it is? i'm maybe overanalsying this a bit but i tend to think its my damm personality and i can't changee it.. But maybe i can? for example i've lent money to Good friends in the past, and not allways been paid back, the other day a friend of mine was buying her partner a camera for his bday, anyway we where having coffee and she was telling me she can't get the camera till she gets more money.... I literally bit my tongue not to offer her the money, because of bad experiences... How do i know if she will pay me back or not? perhaps as some1 pointed out bfore, b more cautious... LiptonCambell: >>>I literally bit my tongue not to offer her the money, because of bad experiences... Theres no clear answer, because your experiences with these people are absolutely subjective. Do you think they could pay you back? Do you think you could do without the money? Do you think they could be taking advantage of you? I once kept loaning small amounts of money to this pretty girl I knew till I smarted up enough to refuse till the existing debt is paid. She had great reasons- she was being kicked outta school, she was being kicked outta home, she had to pay a ticket or she'll be sent to jail.....eventually, I was 700 in the hole- I doubt she'll ever pay me back. Some people, being nice ain't the answer. But not all. nellie77: Hmm ofcourse these people could pay me back, but they choose not too.. Do i really want my money back? well ofcourse! i worked hard to earn it, do i really need my money, well if i wanted to give it away i would to some deserving charity. Your point about that girl? I think she was your charity and thats not bad...... Morsy: I have that kind of face that says tell me your troubles etc and can't seem to change it lol I don't mind listening its whether they return the favour which mostly they don't so I learnt to listen briefly then walk away. People also say to me grow some balls or get some grit in your gut and these are the people that do take advantage so that's confusing anyhow the bottom line is why should a person change for others...I like me but have learnt many lessons along the way. m3r1: hahahaa i say it's nothing wrong by beeing like that......i'm myself am like that hahaha and sometimes feel the same way but i like it cuz makes me different from the others girls! .....so just don't be like it too much ;P nellie77: So bottom line you can't change the way you are.. Thanks evry1 for your comments, i'm glad there are people like us, the world sure would be ugly if it was full of cold unapproachable people.. My feeling is give but don't give too much... Its finding that balance and being happy with oneself.. nellie77: Its a nice feeling when you give, i read a book a long time ago called the celistine phrophecy... It was about giving and recieving and feeding of peoples energy.. I think you just got to accept the fact this world is full of different people... I just wish i wake up oneday a bit more wiser..  znmikie: Marsy- Same here, I have that friendly look (i.e. that's according to several managers "approachable" ) and this was good when I worked for customer service..all else, strangers approaching me for usually direction outside of work become more lost than ever. I don't think it's about changing who you are, but rather changing the people around you...and the interesting thing is no matter how much you change you'll always be you Nellie77- There's a saying "The best way to lose a friend is to lend them money", or something along those lines. The strange thing is, I have three very good friends that I, in a sense grew up with that have never asked me for money. Heck, I even offered to lend money several times to one of them and have gotten a polite "no, thank you". To put things into perspective think of all the times someone offered to lend you money when you needed it? or you could go with the alternative- if they don't ask, don't offer. Chances are, you friend doesn't "need" to buy a camera for her boyfriend's birthday, she could alternatively buy something smaller and in her price-range. How much you spend should be directly correlational to how much you make (i.e. If you're a general laborer in China making an excess of $100 a month you should not be buying a Gucci bag for $3,000)...think about it, desired/wanted/nice to have items vs need to have items. nellie77: Znmikie you reminded me of my sociology teacher, need and wants etc... Sure we seem to overspend these days and allways have that pressure to impress our loved ones... Friendships equal quality not quantity,,, its nice to have those that don't take advantage... i can count about 4 like that in my life.... znmikie: Ah... but sometimes it is the smallest of things can mean the most, and you can't usually buy those things | Philosophy Chat Room 7 People Chatting Similar Conversations |
