Over Protective?

tularcitas
tularcitas: I will have my first biological child in July. A boy. How does a parent protect their child without being over protective. My nature is that I will hover over him and try not for him to have anything that I consider dangerous or hurtful happen to him. I know that it is quite a ways down the road, but my husband and I are already having "discussions" about this. I don't want him to play football or to be a boxer....both things my husband did when he was a teen. I also don't want him out of our sight until he is at least 12. I know it's good for a child to develop character, but I think it can be done without a child engaging in activities that could put him at risk. Your thoughts? How did you deal with this?
6 years ago Report
5
Destiny_Zion
Destiny_Zion: I always have to force myself to let go, little by little as they get older. It's very difficult but I realise that it is in their best interest.
6 years ago Report
3
CatcherAl
CatcherAl: I believe in giving as much freedom as possible especially in the early learning ones. If he wants to sit in the garden and eat worms? Well they are not gonna kill him. You can tell a child over and over again about how hot and nasty fire is, he will never listen until he feels it and gets a tiny burn. He must learn as much by his mistakes as your tuition.
The only real exception, something which somehow you must make a part of his life is the No Stranger rule. You just gotta make him streetwise in this respect.
It is absolutely impossible to wrap your child in cotton wool and expect that in so doing you can protect him from all harm. If you don't let him ride a bike I know for a fact he will ride his mates bike. Once he is out of your sight he will find trouble and hurt. It's part of being a boy.
When I was 8 or maybe 9 I ran away from home as I detested my cruel and sadistic father.
He was a strict disciplinarian and I would get a smack for just looking at him the wrong way.
I often used to hear that utter hogwash phrase " Spare the rod and spoil the child".
Anyone who thinks this is right deserves taking behind the barn and whipped.
A child will respect rules if they understand they are only made out of love.
I wish you well, with the friends you have here on wire for advice and support? It will be a walk in the park
6 years ago Report
3
Empty_Everest
Empty_Everest: The 1st is stressing because everything is new hands on, like studying medicine being a bookworm but then you are put to take care of a patient (obviously studying medicine isn't that way in real life).
It is part knowledge (what you researched), part instinct (the subconscious mind) and practice (hands on), all fractioned within your emotional thinking and logical thinking; all those sooner or later are going to merge into one creating balance, but I'm going to be honest here dear friend... the sooner the better you find the balance, ALL of you are going to be better... YOU have become in practice Gaia, this is graduation baby you'll do just fine

In my view you are thinking way ahead instead of focusing completely in the right here right now and "soon" to be, one step at the time dear friend
6 years ago Report
3
tularcitas
tularcitas: Love you all!
6 years ago Report
3
S W l N E
S W l N E: I have the same issues with my son's mom. I worry less on physical boyhood damage like falling down and more on predators. You keep being protective but at the same time explain it to the child and also go through ways he or she can protect him or herself. And how to handle a problem or damage when it occurs. Maybe you can do a brief 1st aid course and keep a first aid kit to calm you down.
6 years ago Report
1
curl_jam
curl_jam: I think your child is still too young and will need all your attention and care for the time being : )
6 years ago Report
1
Cenababy
Cenababy: Sara, all mom's that are new go through, so you are not alone. What I did is I based everything on age appropriate. As far as when Alex was a baby, babies know pain, that's for sure. When I introduced her to elecyricity, I pointed at the plug and said, lol, "hurt my baby" , "nono don't touch", she got that. We never had an issue, use your mom instincts only you will know your child 100 percent, believe me it will come to you. Example: after Alex learned to walk she was running in the lvgrm area, not fast, just excited....well she fell and the sofa bit her, first I checked her, looked at her eyes when I was comfortable, I then....looked at the sofa, lol..and pointed at it, said, "hurt my baby", bad sofa and I seated at it....I know lol...my daughter was thrilled, so, from then on she would point at the accident and I would have to discipline it, this faded but made her day. We can't prevent everything, just use your gut....
6 years ago Report
1
Cenababy
Cenababy: Seated is spanked it...*
6 years ago Report
0
Cenababy
Cenababy: Also the danger is taking your ears and eyes off of them, DON'T DO IT, someone says you are over protective ignore them and use YOUR COMMON SENSE, no one will protect as. You will, making mistakes is human, you learn from those....it's better to be safe than sorry, you will cry the billions of tears not others. Example, a friend sat with my daughter at her house, I drove up just in time, she had let my daughter ride her tricycle around the corner of the house, I was horrified and screamed at her husband, get Alex as I was running. I could have killed her, no adult could see her???,, really????? Second quick one, bottle and potty training, children know when it's time DO NOT RUSH TGROUGH DEVELOPMENTAL STAGES OR SKIP THEM, call lead to issues later. When Alex was ready to give up the bottle she would throw it down and reach for a cup, potty training same. I bought a potty video, she loved it, when ready she would point at her potty I bought her, so I said ok big girl, showed her and in two days time that was that. She was about 2.5 with both. The bottle about right at two.*
(Edited by Cenababy)
6 years ago Report
1