Children should have a say in court

Secret Mastermind: In cases of medical and child custody children really have no say at all. Your parents dictate what you eat, your medical care and who you live with. If they have a custody battle it is the parents who have to fight over who wants you under a certain age. I think we should give children a legal right at any age to say "This is what I want to do" That needs to be listened to. I also think the children should be taken out of custody of both parents for all court proceedings. Since this is often used for the parents to manipulate the child. When in reality this is not the child's fight but the parents. This is just one case I mentioned but there is other situations in which it creates issues.

Systematic_Learner: The problem is that parents might coach their children into agreeing to things they don't understand or bribe them or threaten them. Also sometimes kids don't know how to make good decisions. Yea kids should not be completely ignored, but these things need to be considered. It's tricky.

Secret Mastermind: Yes but bribing and manipulation is used in court to attack the other parents. So wouldn't it make sense to separate children and make a quick court case not using the children as weapons. Than speaking with the child/Children seperatly and ask "Who do you want to stay with"? Also if kids have a disorder like for example ADD/ADHD not forcing medication if the child is not hurting anyone. Give them the decision and let them choose for something minor. Stuff like Schizophrenia is indeed a danger but if a parent is too lazy to take the child outdoors to exercise do we need to really punish the child?

Systematic_Learner: A child could be coached before hand. I'm not saying I disagree or agree with you, I'm just pointing out some things that are tricky to deal with.

Secret Mastermind: No they would not be. That is the point. The parents would not be given that choice. Parents start doing stuff like that when they know they might lose the child. Not when they initially start fighting. Its not like every single fight is going to end in divorce and it sometimes takes awhile to get to that point. The manipulation and couching does not happen till after custody is brought up. Why else would the child coach the kid to attack the other parent if they in fact loved and respected the other parent. BEFORE that happens not after.

Systematic_Learner: oh, but then why would they be in court? or have I misunderstood something *a bit confused*

Secret Mastermind: When you get a divorce you have to go to court.

Systematic_Learner: hmm. from what I understand, I agree with you that kids should have more say, but when you're dealing with divorce and custody and it has already gotten that far, I standby what I said about it being tricky since the child could be influenced or whatever. But yea, people need to listen to kids more I think. They can be quite wise

Secret Mastermind: Remove the children before hand. You seem to keep missing that.

Systematic_Learner: yea I suppose that might be a solution but another problem to that is the laws that would have to be passed because I don't think many parents are just going to let their children be taken away for that because it "infringes on their rights" or whatever.

Secret Mastermind: Yes they would probably argue against there child being taken away for that period. However I think it would be much better for children in such cases if it is going to turn into a custody battle. However most parents think they are doing good by munipulating there children into attacking the other parent. I cant see how thats really healthy.

Tashina_: You can not expect from a child, caught in the middle of a divorce battle, opening up to a judge who is a strange and probably scary person to the child and to tell what really is going on. I am going through all aspects of a dirty divorce battle for 3 years now and no end in sight. My 10 year old son is the center of his father's selfish attention, a father who is unfortunately unable to put his sons well being before his own wishes and desires. The courts want the kids to have access to both parents, which in general is a good thing. Problem is, there is no way for the judge to really see, what is going on in the kids life with either parent. This is where I think, wish after seeing my son crying and scarred when he had to visit his father due to court order so many times, that there is a better monitoring of the child's physical and not less important mental well being. But its only a he says/ she says matter for the court at that time. Yes there was an assessment made where a social worker visited both parents observing our interaction with the child and also talked to my son alone. She did a good job but the mental suffering for my son continued and got worse when the assessment came out. There should be more visits and talks from social workers with the kid in cases when there are concerns raised by a parent about a potential mental abuse. And stronger protection of the kids when the concerns are justified. My son thankfully is doing very well now after a judge issued a one year no contact order between father and son due to a kidnapping threat of his father in court.
We just started now with weekly phone calls again and I am really glad that those are now going very well. Now there is hope of a healthy relationship between father and son. But only because of a stupid comment. I hope for all those kids that there will be a change and the phrase: "for the best of the child" becomes true.

kill_the_kitty: we do.when the kids my age our opinion is considerd.at least mine was

Thor213: for some yes for others no i wanted to say a few things in court when i was 13 or 14

Secret Mastermind: Kitty how old are you? Mine wasn't considered ever and my parents divorce was age 11-15.

kill_the_kitty: 14

DEEP_acheleg: the question is whom, is liable for the decision of their children

DEEP_acheleg: if your divorce causes your son such mental suffering, why not drop the divorce case/

Secret Mastermind: Deep people get divorced... This is the AFTERMATH not before marriage.

DEEP_acheleg: i am divorcved, your point?

Secret Mastermind: So why did you not just drop your divorce case. We are talking about what to do if the parents get divorced and your answer is "Well dont get divorced". Even though you yourself have.

DEEP_acheleg: uum, thats not what i said. i am divorced, and i didnt challenge it, but only because my childs custody was not in question

Secret Mastermind: So your saying a Divorce should never take place if custody is an issue?

DEEP_acheleg: loaded questions are something- arent they?

Secret Mastermind: The question was if children get rights during a divorce since they often get ugly and the parents abuse and manipulate the children. Your answer was that you dont believe people should get divorced and than said you were divorced. So when asked to elaborate you claimed it was a loaded question. If you did not feel like answering the question you did not need to participate. I dont see the point in you being a troll.