Will this ever go away?

GoldenBeauty: Let me start off by saying I married young.
We married at 20, it will be two years in the spring.
Now, my husband wants kids, and he wants them fairly young, however he's not really in a rush if that makes sense.

I on the other hand was never one of those people who knew what genders I wanted,had names picked out etc. In fact, I always figured I'd rather have an adventurous life rather than a domestic one.(Which I can have with a husband, but not so much being tied down with kids) I do however want to be able to give my husband a child, I just don't want my life to change at all and I want to still have my independence and freedom to do what I want, when i want.

I already feel like with working full time shift work and in my husbands line of work, we already have almost no time together. Adding a kid into the mix would just make me feel like I'm suffocating but I WANT this feeling to go away. I WANT to be able to want kids.

Everyone whom I've told how I feel always tell me that once I get pregnant and have time to get used to it, my mind will change but I don't want to go get knocked up again and HOPE my feelings will change. I want to KNOW I want them before I try to get pregnant. As well, all the people who have told me these things always knew they wanted kids, so they really had no idea how I feel about it and I can't exactly tell them that I've already been pregnant once and it was the most miserable few weeks of my life because no one other than my husband knows about it.

Eugh.
It's just so frustrating!

Is there anybody who has felt similarly to this?
Experience?

Miss_Chrys: I was in the same boat as you were. I was with my partner for 5 years and we married for just short of 1. He was older than I was by 6 years and was wanting children more than I was. He come from a small family and his sister due to medical reasons was unable to have children. So I felt this huge pressure on my uterus to conceive. I come from a huge Greek family so there were always kids around and I was in no rush either. I was always of the philisophy that if you want to have kids, then you should be ready (financially) especially and be able to take time off to care for your kids.. I wouldnt want to put them in day care for someone else to raise.. I was the same I wanted to travel, I worked alot and wasnt really ready for my lifestyle to change.

We would talk about it ect but I still didnt want to have kids and knew that if I did have a child to keep my husband happy I probably would wind up resenting the child for lost opportunities etc. As bad as that sounds that was how I was feeling. Communicate with your husband. Let him know that you want kids but WHEN your ready. Explain to him how your feeling and dont let anyone pressure you into "ohhh your at this age though you should have babies by now". Society has changed as have the ways and times in which things are done. At the end of the day if your husband loves you then he will support you and understand you.

I'm sure once the pressures off and you get to make the decision you'll be ready in no time.. Goodluck with it all and dont let anyone boss you around.. It's something you have to live with for the rest of your life.. Me.. lol.. Well my husband and I are no longer married but this wasnt the only reason why we broke up but one of the huge contributing factors..

ohnonotthatguy: Kids. well can't live with them , can't live without them.
I would just go crazy without my children they 27,19 and 15 life would have no meaning nor purpose to me.
Family planning is a must.
Rent or borrow a child from a friend of a friend for the whole weekend and see how it goes,but make sure the child is not your niece or nephew cause there is some tolerance and affection.
If possible have a child as young as possible in diaper stages is ideal
Share responsibilities with spouse a must and still function your daily routines (work,shopping etc)
If child doesn't interfere with your lifestyle try it for a full week than try it a full month and if you can manage all your responsibilities and duties your ready to become a MOMMY

Try foster parenting for awhile

fairgojustsaying: If in doubt don't do it, you have to want this as much as your partner. I didn't give it much thought and when I fell pregnant, being young and naive (married) it spun me out right up until she turned one.....then I slotted into it with no regrets, times and conditions have change hugely since my pregnancy, ie, the myths, old wives tales,stigma about woman and their role at that time etc. A baby will be a permanant fixture in the equation of your lifestyle, so think about it but don't let it stress you out.