why let your child believe in the tooth fairy and santa?

†Jack☠OfHearts†™
†Jack☠OfHearts†™: honest answers from parents please..
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FzzyPchs
FzzyPchs: My parents never had me believing in The Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny or any of that stuff. I don't feel like I missed out on anything at all.
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†Jack☠OfHearts†™
†Jack☠OfHearts†™: its wasn't so popular when I was growing up, but now its on the tv and all the kids believe in that..I'm just wondering why parents tell their kids about it, if its something I dont understand or if its no big deal and when the kids get older they forget about it... I think its the same as telling a lie but I'll tell him tell him the truth that its a story grownups make up for kids but its confusing
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PrincessBumblebee
PrincessBumblebee: it's a beautiful lie that makes them happy and excited!!
i was a kid someday and i believed in tooth fairy and santa..i always wanted to meet them..even b4 sleeping i was thinkin of Santa and keeping awake thinking that he'll come and leavz me a gift....i luvd all stories about them..it wazn't bad at all..it's juz something made me happy when i was a kid..and let me dream like all the kids,but in my own fantasy world
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winterOfdiscontent
winterOfdiscontent: well i was thinking: if i have to make him believe in gods, the system and the law, why not the grinch, santa and tinkerbell?
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KathieCat
KathieCat: I am not a parent but I am a teacher

Child's ability to process information is structurally limited. Child's reality consists of whatever is felt, seen, or heard, at any given moment.

The truth can cause psychological trauma to a child as he is not yet ready mentally and psychologically to except it. To accept the truth is needed to have the experience and knowledge of an adult.

What fairy tales do provide (as a genre) are rich imaginative resources.In fairy tales, we are able to come to grips with universal problems (aging, death, sibling rivalry, narcissistic disappointments, oedipal dilemmas, self-worth, and moral obligations). The fairy tales help children to navigate through their anxieties and transform fears into a confident approach to life. Happy endings, which are typical in fairy tales,provide a positive backdrop for overcoming a dangerous or adverse situation.

Fairy tales and stories in general, help to develop the young people’s imagination and therefore their cognitive development: the ability to create their own stories leads to cognitive development.Therefore by exercising the ability of story telling, the children are developing their mental abilities and skills and are working on their imagination. Children, by listening to stories and fairy tales, are developing their mentality and they get their thought stimulated.

Through fairy tales they build in a mechanism of recognizing the reality from the fantasy.

It must be stated that fairy tales and classical stories contain useful moral lessons for a children and picture a world where even freedom is obliged to follow some basic moral laws. Additionally, fairy tales get a child acquainted with other countries’ cultures and habits and they can help children to face and resolve their conflicts.This can help children to overcome the egocentrism and selfish thoughts, which are very common in those ages, and make them realize that apart from them , billions of other people live in this planet and hundred of other nations exist apart from their own.

Fairy tales, by portraying a world where it is possible for the weak to prevail over the strong, can give hope to children and make them confront their own problems with courage and self-esteem.

But fairy tales need a careful selection because some fairy tales contain things that are not suitable for children.

After all, when Albert Einstein was asked how to develop intelligence in young people he answered “Read fairy tales, then read more fairy tales” (”Folk and Fairy Tales”)
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Moni Luv
Moni Luv: I as a parent, have had a personal battle between letting my child have th fun in thinking of the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, and Santa Clause. Part of me truely enjoys the joy they have when they have this mislead belief...letting them get all excited, the surprise when they wake up..it's truely heart warming.
The other half of me says, no perhaps I should tell them the truth, after all I was thuroughly crushed when I found out. I don't know why I did it but I did it..though my super smart near 7 year old is starting to place it together.
One last comment...my mother always told me she let me believe in it because the genuine contentment, satisfaction and gratitude are all present. When you know it's your parents and you are a little disappointed, it hurts them too....just food for thought.
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†Jack☠OfHearts†™
†Jack☠OfHearts†™: thanks Larson, Sally, Lore (yes I understood what you were saying), Kathie and Mony I read all the comments thanks for the needed input
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KathieCat
KathieCat: You are welcome!
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MABanks
MABanks: When I was researching a debate topic in school, I came across an article about Christmas, and it basically said that Christmas, at the early 20th century, was designed around children. It was the one day a year that parents could devote to their children; their day. Parents are so busy keeping a household together, working to provide for the family, etc, that children sometimes get "forgotten" in a sense.

Now, as for believing in Santa or the Tooth Fairy, I do not think I will be pushing the issue. I don't feel that crushing a child's imagination is right either though. So with my daughter, I will explain that Santa is real, because her parents are real. Parents are Santa's helpers (which we are in a way). Santa is the icon of Christmas I suppose, something for children to relate to that holiday. The Tooth Fairy I really do not have a comment for currently, as I have yet to come up with a reasonable way to explain that to her....but I have time, she is only 22 months old!
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deuce916
deuce916: I told my kids there is no santa, & they didn't believe me.
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FzzyPchs
FzzyPchs: Haha, aww! That's kinda cute
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Teece
Teece: Has anyone stopped to consider that most children want to believe in it because it is magical? Tell me another time in our lives when we have this wonderful opportunity to believe in magic? Never.

I personally get really angry with parents who tell their kids at an early age that none of it is real, and so they go to school and tell all the other little kids and ruin it for them and their parents..................

There is nothing wrong with a little bit of magic people!!
Do any of you have psychological problems because of learning by age 8-10 that none of it was real?
I doubt it..................
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†Jack☠OfHearts†™
†Jack☠OfHearts†™: yes but all kids are different and I think when some kids ask questions its just to know the truth and they look at parents as having all the knowledge.
If a kid ask a parent if some stories are true, its because he has these two sides; one that tells him no and the next one says yes, he ask the parent because he trust the parent to tell him the truth that's all. If a parent wants to sit their kid down and explain that Santa doesn't exist in a way that the kid understands or another parent wants to sit their kid down and try to let them believe that Santa exist then, that's their choice.
It just depends on the situation and the kid, and how the parent explains it.

If the kid don't want to know then they wouldn't ask genuinely..idk I can't stare at him and say that santa is as real as I am..and I'm glad I never mentioned to him stories about the toothfairy cus he already caught me switching money for his tooth.

idk if there's psychological problems or if things change in the kid's mind.
But there are some atheistic parents and other parents from different religions that don't celebrate Christmas, so Santa isn't taught to the kids..and they seem fine to me. My friend's daughter is like that she's only around 6 and she doesn't believe in Santa or anything, didn't mess with her imagination she makes up her own weird stories and sing to herself..but that could just be little girls in general, cus they're crazy like that haaha
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Tink
Tink: My son was 3 when he received his very first gift from Santa and we laid out our stockings for Santa to fill, set out cookies and tucked ourselves into bed.

When he was 5 he was pretty upset that we didn't have a fireplace (cause how would Santa get into our home) so we built one out of cardboard and spent days and days coloring in each square red and white. Then we assembled it with tape on the living room wall. I pounded nails through the cardboard to hang our stockings from. It was a magical fireplace

Two years later I found myself telling my son the truth. He was in first grade.

He had heard at school (from another older child) that Santa was not real and he was pretty upset by this knowledge, to the point of tears. My heart broke at the pain in his eyes.

I explained that, indeed Santa is real. Perhaps not a man that travels the world in one night through the sky with reindeer, and perhaps not a man that jumps down chimneys loaded down with toys. He isn't a man that lives in the North Pole and has a list that he checks for naughty and nice.

But Santa is very real. There indeed was a man that gave to the poor and carried candy to give to the children and this is where the tradition of Santa (as we know today) was born into the Western world.

Kris Kringle (also known by some as St Nicolas) as "a helper in need who reminds us to be kind, to think of our neighbors, and to give the gift of happiness."

So, that is how I explained it to my son, we are all Santa if we choose to be.

How we celebrated Christmas after that was forever changed and in my mind it was for the better. Instead of sitting home on Christmas morning exchanging mounds of gifts we went out into the community and made Christmas better for those in need. There honestly was no better gift then the smiles, the hugs and the tears of joy from these people that we shared Christmas with.

We do not celebrate Christmas in the traditional sense in our home. As the years progressed and as my son grew older we stopped decorating the house, stopped putting up a tree and we do not exchange gifts anymore. We just practice the gift of giving of ourselves. We celebrate the inner riches of people, all people.

So, yes, there really is a Santa Clause. He lives in all of us.
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MABanks
MABanks: I like that. I don't really know what else to say there.....

Nice to know that people do really think about others during the holidays.
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Tink
Tink: It is what the season is suppose to be about

I am looking forward to Grandchildren one day. My son says that he is going to follow my lead and allow them to believe the way they wish too and then as I did he will explain the true meaning of Christmas when they ask
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Teece
Teece: You are right Tink, it is all about the magic of christmas. Santa is part of that magic to my family. My daughter
is in her early teens and loves nothing more than helping her Dad and I fill her brothers (and her) stocking. She helps him cut the carrots to leave out for the reindeer and they get milk and cookies for Santa.
She loves the magic of it even though she knows its not real.
I will never forget when she found out Santa wasn't a real person. Her first question was "So, that Trampoline I got from Santa two years ago - how did it appear overnight?".
I explained that we were up until 2am with all the neighbors helping and spotlights to get it assembled. She thought that was the most magical thing she had ever heard and couldn't believe that we had gone to all that trouble just for her.............

Yes, Christmas is all about giving of yourself too. We have massive christmas dinners at our house as we know allot of people with no immediate family in NZ - they all come here and we celebrate the day together.........
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Tink
Tink: I am looking forward to the magic being renewed through Grandchildren

I have to be honest, one of my friends here renewed the magic for me last year. I received a gift in the mail from them. I'm really excited for this year.

It happened so gradually that we stopped having Christmas in our home. I mean we still have Christmas but not in the traditional sense. I felt like a little child when I received a gift in the mail from my friend.

I still will give myself to others and serve those less fortunate but I felt a thrill receiving the token of love and friendship that was mailed to me

She was my Santa
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Teece
Teece: I always buy a pressie from Santa to the adults. Just a token something that I think they will like......
Even my dog gets a pressie from Santa......... Its magical to see their faces
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britishbeauty27
britishbeauty27: I hav a 7 year old daughter Titite and a 2 year old son Aymeric they r my heart and life.

This is an interesting forum topic i will share my view.

Titite was 5 years whn she got to knw santa was not real person. I dnt blame anything or anyone but myself.

It is my fault for tellin her tht he is a real person. It was a difficult year for me. My husband and i were divorced, i had to start working two jobs tht year. Thank god for my aunt taking care of Titite. November of tht yr my daughter asked santa for two things a paint set and her dad. It is not a fairy tale my story isnt a magical christmas frm the movies. My ex, her dad told me he was stayin in france I couldnt afford the paintset tht she specifically wanted, but a cheaper one.
My daughter told me tht she was bad and santa forgot her. tht was whn I told her about santa and her dad.
Now with Aymeric i actually told him a few weeks ago tht Santa can be whoever he wants to imagine him to b, that christmas is about family and not gifts or santa.

as a single parent i wil b the last one to advise any new parent to tell their children santa is physically real. this year will b my son's second christmas and we will b enjoyin it as a family and not as a commercial enterprise. i hav no worries about explainin the myth behind santa to him in the future. Children r not to young to understand and they r the most important thing not santa or christmas. We actually decided a theme for this Christmas together tht Aymeric gets to pretend to b santa. It is actually a better christmas idea and we r startin our own tradition That is wht Christmas is about hun.
I wish all parents can hav an open relationship wit their children. it is only the beginning lol save the wrrying for the boyfriend-girlfriend age.
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Tink
Tink: What a great tradition to start Each person in your family gets to be Santa
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britishbeauty27
britishbeauty27: Food for thought:
Is the responsibility/blame the child at school who tells the othr kids Santa is nt real or the parent tht tells his/her child Santa is real. the decision is on parent.
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britishbeauty27
britishbeauty27: ty the imagination can stil b alive without the man frm the north lol
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Teece
Teece: You know........ thinking about allot of the threads I have read lately and how people think has made me realise how very P.C. we have all become when it comes to rearing children............
I am as guilty as the next person for conforming to the way society has changed over the last 30
years or so in regards to how we should raise our kids.
When I was growing up, children were seen and not heard if there were visitors over - these days the
children are with the adults socialising.
Rather than thinking of children as children as my parents generating did, we think of them as little people with opinions that they should have the right to express freely in any given situation.
We should always be open and honest with our children in every given situation even when it concerns things that there minds will have a hard time processing.........
We should never spank our children (indeed here in NZ it is against the law and I am all for it).
I am not putting any of this down. I have practiced all of these things with my children and I believe they are
well rounded individuals because of it.
But, I do feel that my children have not had the benefits of being aloud to have an innocent childhood as I did. They grow up too fast because they are treated as mini adults from the time they can toddle. They are
fed more information at times than their brains can handle and so they have no choice but to climb onboard
the rat race that society has become at too early an age.

Are we getting soooo politically correct now that we cannot let them believe in fairytales............?
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oldtimeracer
oldtimeracer: Hey, everybody calm down here. There is a Santa Claus. I see him every Christmas. LOL
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