Ashamed, but I lost my temper.. and bad.. Am I a monster? llcoollinds: I am sick to my stomach - I am a mom of a almost 3 year old boy who I have lashed out at quite a few times...I need to know if I'm the only one and need some help, or if I'm not alone! My son does things, and I come to my breaking point. Today he wouldn't go for a nap... he would throw his bedding and toys all over the room (he's still in a crib) while screaming. This went on for an hour. I went in there, grabbed his arms HARD, threw him onto the mattress, screamed at him in his face and told him to go to "f****" bed, left the room, and slammed the door. This is probably the 6th time since he's been born that I've lost it. He cried so hard, he threw up. I feel so sick, because I am a really good mom... but just loose control. I am so afraid I am going to damage him. Am I totally alone? Sorceress Warrior: start looking into parenting groups immediatly. Sign yourself up for one and have your parents or a neighbour babysit the kid. It sounds like you are alone all day with your child which I know you love more than your own life. Get to those parenting classes and don't be ashamed to say what you did, just don't do it again!! although I know it's easier said than done. The parenting classes can help you with dealing with stress, sleep loss and how to get extra help with your kid. You don't say if there is a father in the scene, if you are an single parent you need assistance before your child becomes afraid of you.  Spirit One: sounds like you're experiencing the terrible twos  remember ,you have a small child of limited understanding ,nurture him ,but don't beat ,no good ever comes from that ,feed the child more fresh fruit and raw veggies ,he'll turn around and become a better child ,less unruly ,your child will only know what you, yourself , teaches him  CherryRed81: it's hard, REALLY hard sometimes to stay calm...or just not lose it. In that moment, I try to take a step back and just take a breathe, realize it's not him, it's not his fault and if its really bad...leave him, he's better off crying and freaking out in his crib than you losing it on him. PTBO52: In my experiece...I would respond with yelling and anger just like my child. My doctor told me act the opposite, after a couple of times the behaviour totally calmed down. Sometimes they are looking for attention whether in a positive way or negative. Kuffufin: you took it too far with the grab and throw. but the people above me are forgetting something. even though you took it too far, your kid shouldnt get off the hook either. you have to let him know he did something wrong, but in a calm way. i mean you can take away his toys and dont let him watch cartoons (both would really kill him) you need to let him know his behavior is unacceptable.  xeximumma: Hi i understand how u feel,my little boy who 3 n autistic n i feel very bad admiting this but yes i lost it at him a few time,they are at this age where they constant testing ur patience..i have sworn a few time n smak him on is bum,but i learnt to just close his bedroom door n go outside for 5 to 10min,have one of those child proof lock door so he cant get out..it doesnt make u a bad mum sometime things get overwhelming,being a parent a hard work but rewarding..make sure u apology to him n said sorry kiss n cuddle.. mylifeismine: hi i agree with the parenting classes give you a chance to talk and interact with others going thru similar experiences and you would learn new techniques to help you overall. no child should be touched in a negative demonstrative way but they can push you big time BIG TIME sometimes we all know that but we should also know that they must be loved and nurtured and cared for in a non threatening environment so be careful our frustrations are not his to bear???????  Nick_kciN: Not a monster, just a (stressed) loving parent. A short “timeout” is for both kids and parents to regain focus, It does get better (my youngest is 3), calming music at bedtime/ naptime helps, if the child gets to choose the music there is less chance of confrontation. The more confrontation at bedtime leaves the child with associating bedtime with more stress, and more likely to cause mayhem. (I also believe that a continuation of this very scenario is responsible for much insomnia in people at a later age.) PTBO52: Nick...good point about insomnia at a later age...going to do some checking but that totally fits with my family.  xanderiley: No, you're not a monster. A monster would have no remorse, and would refuse to consider their actions as going too far. However, you should get help -- you should not have to deal with this situation or your reaction to it alone. You and your child deserve the best you can be as a parent, and you both will benefit from it. TicoBrahe: That sounds very frustrating. At times I wish I had delt with some things in a more positive way. It takes great strength, direction, and planning to raise a child. It can't be pinpointed. It's rather a combination of example, leadership, and teaching to set a good foundation for children. Be alpha, be kind, be patient, and be happy etc. "It is not what you give to your children, but what u teach to do for themselves." Raven: Is the topic creator still in Wire? her profile is pretty empty of everything... I was going to message her.  LuvMyself: Just learn to tune out ...the crying will eventualy stop..children cry for attention ! don't give in ..if u don't wanna loose controle! Raven: my 1 -yr-old does that. She's a screamer, I pick her up to shut her up, lol. But she smiles and giggles when I do, which is real cute...sometimes I can't help but give in, lol.
LuvMyself: LOL i hear ya !..but giving in when they are being so bad is not good ..then again their just so young .What are we to do? lol ...tuff it out i guess !...oh wait till the crazy 2's kick in ! LuvMyself: My son is 3 and a half and still seems to be in his crazy 2's ..whats up with that? lmao ! brissy_girl86: huge hugs to you. toddlerhood can be such a challenging time. do you have someone who can come and take him for a bit so you can have a bit of a break? my DS is 2.5 almost and i find that if i need a break, i will walk out of the house, into my yard(make sure your child is safe) and have a 5minute breather. do you get any time away from your child? i have a wonderful support network which helps esp being a single parent. dont be so hard on yourself, you are only human like the rest of us. we have all had our moments and i dont doubt your a great mum. patr72: Of course you're not a bad person. You just lost your temper as I did today with my 8 year old son when he wanted to visit a friend in the middle of a storm, and he wouldn't stop asking again and again: "please, let me go, please.... until he called me "Bad" "I prefer Dad" etc,etc.....Fianlly I shouted to him an told him some horrible things.... Sometimes we are overwhelmed and we do things we did not want to do... we're humans.  Melly04: i have a 3 yr old daughter and she pushes me to my limits alot of the time, she demands things, gets into things and is disobedient at times and it takes all my effort not to lose control. but no your not a bad mum just because u lost it, as the saying goes "any mother that says she has not hit or thought of hitting their child is a liar" try alternatives, my daughter hates going to bed so she is to lay on my lap in lounge room while i read or sing, if she doesnt go to sleep then she has to go to bed, but 99% of the time she falls asleep, i know it takes time out of your day but 2 outcomes come out of doing this 1. u avoid confrontation and 2. u get cuddle time. unfortunately kids dont come with manuals, suceeding as a mother comes from trial and error, but as said by other people if u r finding it hard to deal with talk to someone, also allow yourself some me time whether puting the child in day care or getting someone to watch, do it, than take a long bath, read a book and just relax 4 a couple of ours, u will then feel rejuvinated and ready to solve the problems with your child. remember try alternatives! good luck!!  Purplestarryfish: I have been there. I have lost my temper a few times with my oldest. Lately it has to do with his violent nature with his brother. MY oldest has issues. He is autistic, but sometimes i just fall apart and don't handle my emotion well.  WHlSKY:
Original Poster's kid is now 14 years. Crazy to think about. Parents are only humans and it's natural to not be at the standard you envision for yourself to be at. Just have to keep trying to improve. | Parenting Chat Room 34 People Chatting Similar Conversations |
