Amusing and Interesting quotes (Page 11) LoisS: Walk up to a stranger and say "poof" while doing some arm movements, like ur doing a magic trick, and then say "it's done. From this moment forward we don't know each other." When they say "what", you say "very good" and walk away...  KeithJ: Never give a sucker an even break. I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it. W C Fields Vaudeville , radio, movie comedian Born: January 29, 1880, Darby, PA Died: December 25, 1946, Pasadena, CA LoisS: I want to live my life like a bear. Eat when I want, Sleep when I want. Kill people in the woods when I want.  MJ59: “I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.” —Mitch Hedberg “Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here. This is the war room.” —President Merkin Muffley (Peter Sellers), Dr. Strangelove “My mother always used to say: The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana.” —Rose (Betty White), The Golden Girls LoisS: Men will tweet “women aren’t funny” and then go watch episodes of *The Office written by Mindy Kaling and be like “this shit is real comedy”. MJ59: Shexting Texting your friends, loved ones or even your annoying co-workers whilst taking a dump on the porcelain throne. Shitting plus texting equals shexting. Sporking The act of spooning with the addition of an erection. Screwvenir Anything that you keep (whether stolen or given to you) from someone’s house after you’ve slept with them.  LoisS: My mind is like my internet browser. 19 tabs open, 3 of them are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from... LoisS: "I was coming around the corner of a department store and saw my dad come around the corner at the same time. Turns out, it was a mirror."... LoisS: *My wife asked me to stop singing "Im a Believer" by The Monkees because she found it annoying. At first I thought she was kidding..... But then I saw her face.... KeithJ: yeah they talk funny down here ,,the call a shopping cart a buggy and when I hear that I ask them where is the horse. LoisS: I think we say buggy too. I still say "pram" for stroller. When I think about it there are still a few terms I use that are not 'hip" to say anymore. Like "hip".. MJ59: My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden Eric Morecambe Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong. Anonymous LoisS: People try to put ownership on things: 'That's mine, that's my joke.' No such thing. Like if you tripped or stumbled and people go, 'Oh, that's Charlie Chaplin.' You know what I mean? You can't own a joke. You can be the guy that tells it the best, but you can't own a joke. Nowhere can you own a laugh... | Off Topic Chat Room Similar Conversations |
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